How to Deal with the Luck of Hubby's of Excitement of 2Nd Baby Coming

Just say no. Do not do the things he is assigning you to do. Just say no. Tell him he has to help or it just won't be done. If it isn't done will it effect the family? Will they go without meals? Will the food rot?

If not then just say no. Make him take responsibility and don't rescue him anymore.

Everyone has given you terrific advice. M., I hope that you remember that with children who demand, demand, demand, an adult who does the same thing needs to be told a swift NO.

After the baby is born, decide on the name. Hopefully he will get on board with the naming once he sees the baby, but if he doesn't, YOU name the baby. Just to let you know, I didn't name my babies until I had held them and decided which name fit them best!

You do not have to wash his clothes or cook for him. If he continues his present course, stop doing any of this stuff for him. And you need to rest right now to get at least 3 weeks farther into this pregnancy for the health of the baby. Drink plenty of water and lay on your left side. And do only what you need to do. Everything else needs to just be let go.

Good luck,
Dawn

I just want to say that i am sorry that you are going through this. ((hugs))

I hope you are going to have a female relative stay with you for weeks and weeks after the birth of your baby because it sounds like you'll need help. Assign chores to you? Are you exaggerating? I hope so. Husbands do not assign chores to their wife. Parents assign chores to children. I would not tolerate this type of behavior. I would do what I needed to do and let him take care of everything else or it wouldn't get done. For example, dinner, his laundry, etc. Someday he is going to regret the choices he is making right now. I know a husband or 2 that has acted this way and they can never take it back. Sad for them. Take care of yourself and make sure you have plenty of help. Good luck to you!

The Grandma will be staying with you, right?

You can't change him or his attitude.

He is "disappointed" perhaps, that the 2nd baby is another girl? And not a boy????
You have a girl, now, right?

I don't have any answers, except maybe your Husband was hoping for a boy this time???

But still, he should not be having that attitude. Its sad.

Did he want a 2nd baby or not?
Was it an accident?

He will have to face a HARD reality, once baby is born.
And if he can't... well maybe counseling is needed.

Regardless, his attitude, will affect the children.
TELL him that.
He is an EXAMPLE... for the children. He is a Dad whether he likes it or not. It is not a choice. And if he is a Man... he needs to step up.

Or, is he Depressed for some reason?
Since he seems so apathetic?
If so, he needs to see his Doctor.

And, you are his Wife. You are 34 weeks pregnant.
He needs to take care of you.
What if you strain yourself or fall?
He needs to do, chores too.
Be a Husband.

If he "assigns" things to you. Tell him NO.
HE can do it.

Ya gotta be... a hardliner with him.
He is NOT a "baby."
He is a Man. He is a Husband. He is a Dad.
He needs to act like one.
TELL him that.
I know, its not easy.
But he is being... really, out of line.

Have him do his OWN laundry and ironing and meals.
Since he does not act like a Man or Husband or Dad... he can do it himself.
You are NOT NOT NOT, his "maid." And you are 34 weeks pregnant.
He should be taking care of you, and his child and... his home.
It is his home too.
He is not a hotel guest.

If he cannot even.... partake in naming "His" baby too... then YOU do it.
It is his, loss.

To tell you the truth my father was not pleased about my mom being pregnant with my sister. My mother begged him for a second child and he said no.. Finally he gave in, by pouting and fuming the entire pregnancy.

He also stated he was not going to help my mom in any way. I was only 4 about to be five. My mom worked full time. This was back in the 60's.. no air conditioning in the car or our home and it was the beginning of summer.

My mom was miserable, sad and upset. My dad was an A--.. But the moment my sister was born he completely fell in love with her.

He came up with the name based on how pretty she was.. He called everybody from the hospital to tell everyone about the new baby.

She was also a little toot and so he was completely charmed by her.

And so sometimes I think men worry about things by being upset and pissed off, but once he holds the beautiful new child.. he will deal with it.

ASK for help. Having a new baby and having a toddler will wear you out. Have someone come and stay with you for a few weeks.. Do not try top be a superhuman, remember your children will need their mom.

A woman becomes a mom at the moment of conception. A man becomes a father when the baby is born. I found this to be true even with our third baby. My husband didn't seem as excited, however, once our little angel was here he stepped right up and was instantly in love with her. It may take the baby's actual arrival for things to click with him. Good luck.

pray his heart is softened towards you and the baby, praying truly works miracles!