My kids are 2 1/2 and 9, both girls. The little 6 year old boy next door is ALWAYS wanting to come over. He is, for lack of a better word, annoying. His family lives a different kind of lifestyle than we do. For example, they let their kids watch Beavis and Butthead, think it's hilarious to burp and fart out loud (the adults!) and laugh about it, drink in front of the kids, etc.
They don't give much thought to personal hygeine and it comes to my house. He'll step in poop and walk inside, comes in and out, and is just generally just kind of annoying.
I usually let him come over a couple of times a week, but I spend the whole time being annoyed. I feel bad about it, but I just don't think that:
1. He's a very good example for my girls
2. He is a boy that isn't really near the ages of my kids
3. He's annoying.
What do I do??
Im friends with his mom, but not close. We are just friendly.
When kids stop by my place to come in and I don't want them over I say "We are not having friends over right now. Maybe you can come back later."
Next time you allow him to come over, set him and your girls down and go over your "house rules." Explain them in very kid-friendly terms, and be very specific. You can say that you expect manners in your home and that includes no burping or passing gas in your home on purpose. Then also share that if it happens accidently that you do expect an "excuse me." Ask that shoes be taken off in your home, or by your front door, or wherever. This alleviates the problem of stepping in things and carrying them into your home. Then also share that you will not tolerate coming in and out. Tell him that while you will allow him to play (whenever you decide), if he feels the need to go out (unless they are playing outside) that he isn't to return.
Are there any boys near you that he could play with? Or are your girls the only kids close enough that his parents will allow him to play?
I would also do my best to not hold the child prisoner to the feelings you have regarding the behavior of the parents. Children are very adaptable, and if you give your expectations clearly, he can either abide by them or stop coming to play. At that point, it is his choice.
Good luck!
Try to be gentle with him. My question is...Is HE verbally gross like his parents? The boy has NO control over the kind of lifestyle he lives. He may know his parents, in some way, are inappropriate. He may be finding some refuge at your house. There may be something comforting about your home. Maybe your girls could be a good example for him....and, age really doesn't matter. I would, although, put a halt in the "in and out" business. That would annoy me, too. Remember, this boy is a product of his environment....you may be the key to helping him out. Try to be patient.
We TOTALLY went through this, though the neighbor kids aren't annoying, the fact that they would come pound on my door 10 times a day was REALLY annoying. At the time my daughter was 2.5 and these kids were 3 and 4.5. I was nursing a newborn and it would cause a lot of problems. First of all, my daughter was too young to play at their house without me there (in my opinion--these two kids were the youngest 2 of 4 kids) and we had just moved there so we didn't know them well. Well, my 2.5 year old would have a major temper tantrum if she couldn't have them over when they knocked--seeing them at the door and then having me turn them away was too much for her little brain to handle--and I was getting woken up all the time from trying to sleep when my kids were napping. My baby was not just an infant, I mean this was happening within the first week of coming home from the hospital with her. I was totally resenting the kids, the neighbors, I was a crabby hormonal mess. My husband ended up giving them our home number (we live LITERALLY right next door) and just asked that they please call before they just come knock-- to see if it was a good time. He explained that our two year old had a hard time with it b/c it was often when we were trying to get out of the house to go grocery shopping, put her down for a nap etc. He passed the buck, so to speak. The mother and father were totally understanding, a little embarrassed and complied. We are now great friends, my daughters are 2 and 4.5 and the kids are all great friends. No bridges were burned and I am now so thankful that they live next door. :) Good luck. I know your case is not identical to mine but that's our story.
Also, not sure what his being a boy has anything to with this. My girls play well with boys and girls. And he may not be a good example for perfect manners. There are lots of kids who may not be good examples at school either. Just teach your daughters the polite way to act but not to judge or correct others who do not act "politely." There were plenty of very well dressed and well behaved girls where I went to school who were the meanest little snots you've ever met once the teacher's back was turned. I'd much rather have my daughter burp or fart and giggle a little about it than ever be mean to another child.
There are a LOT of kid in our neighborhood, and they all always want to come in the house. Most of the time I don't mind, but they all know the rules (I don't even let them play in my yard if they can't follow the 'house rules'), but sometimes I am not in the mood, or simply want to spend time alone with my own kids, so I made a Do Not Disturb sign that I put on the door with a magnet and told all of the kids--some of them are too young to read, but apparently not too young to be unattended outside all day:( --that when they see that paper on the door please don't knock, we are having family time.
Boys will be boys and you have girls so what he does seems disgusting. As annoying as it may seem, take it as a moment to teach him what works or don't work at your house. If he poops at his house and it's not accepted at yours, simply let him know that's not nice to do. He obviously likes the company of your girls as friends, so try to over look it. I think it's a boy thing.
Just let him know that now is not a good time EVERY time he comes and he will eventually get the picture. If you feel bad about hurting his feelings, have your kids play outside with him every now and then. It's not your job to babysit him or keep him busy when he's bored
Tell him he is to old to be hanging at your house, your kids are to young for him. Tell him your busy. Its your home and you do not have to let him in anymore. You can say it nice. Maybe his mom is sending him over so she does not have to deal with him. I am sorry but I do not think I would let him in anymore.
I agree with the other moms, let him know what the house rules are. Have a hand sanitizer by the door so he can use it when he comes in, tell him he needs to wipe his shoes and leave them at the door, gently let him know what language and behaviors are appropriate and he can't be going in and out...
When we went over to friend houses as kids, each house had different rules, such as one we were not allowed to sit on the living room couches since they were antiques and such and we as kids never had a hard time adapting.
He may find the stricter rules and concern comforting as it is a form of care he isn't receiving at home. He may be a lonely little boy and you could do a lot of good in his little life. Leave out little craft activities or snacks.
Also, some days, you just may not feel like entertaining and on those days, just tell him that you have a lot of work to do and he can come back the next day. Or maybe even have a set time so he knows, every Tues and Thurs he can come over for 3 hours or whatever.
o sorry love - we are just about to sit down to eat.
were going out in about a minute sorry
the girls are in trouble they are'nt allowed to play
just make excuses, u dont want to hurt the little guy, if you put him off enough times he will play elsewhere, I know these things I have one lol (a boy that is!)
