she is really that im sorry she hate me from the first day she saw me she make her best to make her husband hate me as we were good friends before she marry him he now did not speak to me except in visits which also now rare , she make every one think that she is lovely and she loves me and love my baby and die to help me anytime I ask and she never call me to offer her help or ask about the baby and when I ask for help she said she had a flu and afraid to infect the baby but every one in the family think she is waiting me to ask but im the one who did not. all my 9 months pregnancy she never call to ask if im doing fine or need help , when i had the baby i did C section and get back home after 3 days and had to nurse the baby take care of him clean the house and cook do the dishes and baby laundry beside the baby was so sick and crying all the time I was dying for help and moving around to the bath room was painful and she never offer to help but every one still think Im the one who need her so Im the one who should ask her help , how i ask help from one that did not ask by phone i feel she hate me how can now i ask her help ,( she is older than me and than her husband and older than my husband too beside she didn't have kids)
Why would you want help from her? Maybe she is bitter because she was not able to have children. Maybe she doesnt want to admit this to anyone but does not want to be around children.
Don't call her, you don't need help from someone like this. Sounds like she's got some issues and is trying to put a rift in the family by being fake to you and trying to get your brother to go along with her.
She's not worth it, don't let her get to you!
Keep her out of you life, otherwise she will make MORE trouble and bad trouble.
Your Husband, has to stand up to her.
You, are his first priority and his child.
That's it.
What does your Husband do about it?
He should be defending you.
That is his 'job' and role as your Husband.
I'd like to offer a different point of view...
It doesn't sound like you were close to her before the issue with her husband started. Is it possible that she honestly didn't know you needed help? If the two of you aren't close, maybe she's not comfortable asking if you need help or maybe it just didn't occur to her as she doesn't have children? I know husbands can be clueless about this kind of stuff, but talk to him (or someone else, if possible) just to make sure you aren't mis-reading her actions.
My own sister is very manipulative (and mentally unstable.) She has an awesome job, very tolerant husband, nice clothes, nice house, and everything you would think would make her happy. For some reason she is very sad inside. She is very jealous. I don't understand but she wants everyone to think that she offered to help me and I turned her down. She wants to be the martyr and make me the big bad wolf. I really don't care about her childish games. I just live in a different state and never call. My life is so fantastic and she can't handle it. The fact that I am strong enough to raise three kids by myself and still keep my head up makes her insane. She doesn't have kids either and is a very selfish individual. I just find it a lot easier to smile and make positive advances in my own life. I love to avoid the drama and put all that effort into more positive things. Just concentrate on making wonderful choices in your life and let her dwell in the negativity. Remember if she puts all of her effort into hating you then she is giving you control of her life. She probably spends all of her time thinking about ways she can get everyone to hate YOU. I can almost guarantee that there are other people that know how your sister in law is.
Sounds like you dont need her in your life. You dont have to make excuses for why. Chances are that other people know she's crazy too.
Is she the only female in your family that could have helped you during your CSection - what about your M., MIL, sisters, aunt, friend, etc? Why were you dependent on watching to see if SHE in particular would come help you?
Also, was your husband not available? I sort of sense you were expecting to see if she would come over to mend some rift you guys have between you, but you don't really need her per se!
If she is sneaky and you can do without interaction with her other than the usual family get together, then do that. Don't try to make her like you and if you really don't know what is going on, sit down with her and talk about it.
Lack of communication is one of those things that always gets in the way of relationships.
Maybe she is being sneaking, maybe she does not know how to offer you help since she does not have kids herself or she might just be bad at offering help or is thinking of herself.
If you want help from her ASK. If you do not want the help or drama from her be nice to her at family functions but do not make a big deal out of what did or did not happen.
Was there no one else around that you can ask help from? I had a c-section, I understand the pain that goes with it but I called my mom for help, enlisted my hubby to help (had to tell him what to do but he did it), and did a lot myself because I did not ask for a lot of help.
If you do not ask no one knows what you need. There are great sensitive people out there that offer help but often you NEED to ask for help, no one is a mind reader. If there are other issues TALK with her about it... in the end if she is unwilling to work at the relationship then let it go and smile at her at family functions. You can only control and change yourself, you can not control or change someone else.
