How to Deal with a Sticky Issue

Hey moms,
SO this is kind of a long story so i'll try to keep it short. i have this aunt who has been upset with my mother since july, and hasn't been speaking to her, or me, and this aunt has always been very fond of my son (now 2), and has been ignoring him and me (except at thanksgiving, she was all over him, which i felt was very ackward for him, since he doesn't even know her now), not calling or getting together with us, or even emailing, for months. i felt it was not fair for her to take her anger with my mom out on ME (especially when she did some pretty dirty things "back" to my mom) but i kept out of it, only emailing her one time, asking if everything was okay, and saying that we need to get together for a girls' day (a tradition in our family, usually about 6 or 8 of us get together once or twice a year) soon. that was in august, and she never replied.

SO, at thanksgiving things seemed a little better, she spoke to my mom a bit, and like i said, was all over my son to the point of smothering him, but she never said one word to me. she was in charge of drinks, and offered two different people drinks right in front of me, but never said a word to me. then as my brother and his girlfriend were leaving, i heard her getting his girlfriend's email and phone number from her (because i was standing about 5 feet away), but didn't think anything of it. then i talked to my mom a couple days later, and she asked me if i was going to the girls day they were planning for this past weekend. apparently my aunt had invited my sister, my cousin, my mom, and my brother's girlfriend- amongst others- but not me. needless to say i was highly hurt and upset.

BUT i resolved to put it out of my mind. whatever her issue was, it really had nothing to do with me. obviously this was how she was deciding to address the issue. obviously i didn't mean enough for her to even try to reconcile. i wasn't going to stress myself out over it. but then...well this weekend came and went (and i firmly pushed it out of my mind and had a great weekend myself), then sunday my mom brought me some little goodies that the girls had brought to give out for girls day. another part of the tradition, we always get little gifts, just a couple dollars, to give out. just cutesy stuff like a silly pair of socks or a little figurine or something. anyway, two of my female relatives brought things for ME, and since i wasn't there, dropped them off at my mother's for her to give them to me.

well that just brought it ALL back. obviously they were told something about me not being able to make it or something, IF my name even came up. but this all just goes back to my aunt being mad at me for some unknown reason. now i have to say, there may have been something i did or said that made her mad. i HONESTLY don't know. i know i would never INTENTIONALLY hurt her feelings or upset her...and i know there's nothing i can think of that i've done. but be that as it may...don't i at least deserve an opportunity to apologize? maybe i DID do something. let's assume i did, even. as family - as the one who she has called "the daughter she never had" - don't i deserve a chance to make amends??? why on EARTH would you deliberately single someone out for exclusion like this? we're supposed to be family! i just don't get it.

so my question is, how do i approach her about this without sounding confrontational. i am honestly still quite angry, and have no idea how to approach it "with love", like my mom has encouraged. also i have to say i am a bit angry with my mother too, she was the one who accidentally spilled the beans about the girls day, and who heard me start crying when i realized i'd been intentionally left out, and she got upset too, and said that "this time" (as opposed to the times my aunt was cruel to HER), she was going to say something. then she never did. she just told my aunt she was going to "bum out" of this girls day. GRR. your mom is supposed to stand up for you! and i promised her i wouldn't say anything to my aunt unless i could do it calmly and nicely. so how on earth do i do that? i want to try to assume (to her) that maybe it was just an oversight. MAYBE it was unintentional. i just don't think i can do it nicely, without throwing accusations and being hurtful. i'm just SO angry. and i really can't swallow being treated this way and NOT stand up for myself! i have a right at least to defend myself, for pete's sake.
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you know what mamas, i can't wait. spilling all of this out of me has really gotten me on a roll. i'm going to email her now, and just ask her nicely if maybe it was an oversight, or maybe there's something we need to talk about. the girls day thing might have been an oversight, but ignoring my email which (very nicely) asked if everything was okay, and ignoring me for the last six months, is NOT. i can't just sit here, anymore. any and all advice and encouragement is still welcome! i just can't sit here doing nothing. i have to say something. thanks in advance!