How to Deal with a Steip Child Whose Mother Keeps Telling Her Not to like You.

I wonder if a family counselor could/would bring ya'll together to work it out as adults.
It's a tough position to be in as a child.
Could he get custody? Would ya'll want that? Perhaps it could be proven that her current living situation is detrimental. I hate to do that to a MOM, but hey, she's being ridiculous.
Though, I'd love to know how far she was going to move and WHY he wouldn't let her. I mean, aside from inconvenience, everything might be workable if they would BOTH compromise and work this out. Not saying HE hasn't... it is hard to tell from one post. I figure it takes two, ya know?
Anyway... GOOD LUCK!
That woman ought to be ashamed of herself. Very Very Childish to put your child in the middle.

Hey M.. I had to deal with the same thing a few years ago. I married a wonderful man with a son and daughter who were 6 & 10. The divorce was hostile, so we had issues from the beginning with the ex telling the kids that I stole their dad (which I didn't), that daddy would be at home if it wasn't for me, etc. My husband tried to talk to his ex without success. So what I did was explain to the children that their mom was hurt and that sometimes people lash out when they are hurt. I also told them that it was probably best if they didn't talk about happenings at our house because that would make their mom feel bad. Now both children live with us and their mother hasn't changed at all. She's still bad mouthing me and their dad, but at least at 13 & 17 the kids see the truth for themselves. I certainly feel for your step daughter. At 7, she feels a loyalty to her mom. Unfortunately, the mom is being selfish and not considering the stress she is putting on her child. If you guys had a relationship in the past, maybe you can talk to her. I wish you the best!

Gosh! What a predicament! Have you tried talking to her mom about the situation? If you haven't, maybe you should just to ensure the child isn't telling a fib. I would just mention her behavior towards both of you and then what you've talked about. The child needs to see that you all are going to act as a family to work out problems. Maybe the four of you (you, your spouse, the child and her mom)could sit down and discuss it together. I believe that if your husband's ex-wife really has her child's best interest at heart you can work this out whatever the underlying cause is. If you have talked to the mom, what was the outcome? Also, have you asked your daughter how she feels when her mom tells her these things? Good luck.

Hi M.!! I know what a horrible situation that is...I've been there. My stepson and I had the same issues. The thing is, his mother and i never had a good relationship. She was like that from the beginning. I just kept telling him that I loved him, I wasn't trying to take her place and what happens at our house stays at our house and vice versa, unless someone was hurting him. I always showed him love and respect and always told the truth about what his mother would say, etc. I tried speaking with her several times and she would be so nice and yes me and agree and then as soon as we were done she would call my husband and bad mouth me, etc. and the same thing would happen. Very very long story short, we eventually got full custody of him because she "got rid" of him, she got sick of him not listening to her about me and our family. So even though she tried to break us apart, she ended up breaking them apart because she put herself first instead of her child.

I wish you the best of luck and will pray for you guys. Just keep showing her love and respect and expect her to tow the line and follow the rules. As long as she sees that her mother doesn't rule your house, it'll happen. I'd also try and talk to the mother, maybe, just maybe she'll listen.

Remember to just always put the child first...

Thoughts and prayers!
T.

Just keep reassuring her that she is loved, that what happens at your house stays at your house. She's being bullied by her mom, sounds like...good luck hopefully the mom will either wake up and realize how she's hurting the child or the court can force her into parenting classes and/or anger management classes. Good luck to you.

I would consider arbitration. Unfortunately, this is all a part of divorce and it unfortunately it happens WAY to often.

M.,
The problem is not with your step daughter, but with her Mother. You might try a different approach with her Mother. The seven year old is caught in the middle of a sad situation that is not her responsibility. I am sure you will find a good solution. Good luck.