How to Bounce Back

Updated on February 12, 2013
P.G. asks from San Antonio, TX
7 answers

Hi mamas,

It's been an exhausting year. Hubby's been working his butt off in a job out of town on and off over the last year. We put our house on the market, sold it and moved, got our son into kindergarten in a new school district, unpacked the house, looked for a new job, and finally found one. I took care of all of it, pretty much on the home front. a week and half ago my son had a nasty time of things - ER visit, doc visit with infected lymph node, throwing up, and just out of sorts for about 4 days. He's never really slept through the night for very long stretches. He's high up on the autism spectrum - really not very symptomatic at all, but the sleep issue is a bear and no magic bullet to help with that. I haven't had a full night's sleep for more than a week at a time in over 6 years.

I am SO tired. I started zumba classes 2x/week at the Y and they are great. But I am snacking much more than I should. I feel like I am eating more the more tired I feel. I just noticed it, so I'm going to put a stop to that. I really don't have much downtime. I haven't found a sitter in the area yet. We've only been here a few months. The only time I had to myself was going to the movies when we had snow and they closed work. My son was at school so I had a few hours to myself - the first time in I can't even remember. I just feel like spending time on my own pours money down the drain so it's hard to justify it.

Does anyone have any ideas to fight the overload? I'm burning out just when things seem to be turning around for us and that's just not good.

Thanks mamas!

ADD: Really need help turning the "mama radar" off - it's just me 24/7, even when I'm relaxing at home, I'm still "on", and even when hubby is home, that radar just doesn't turn off. Thanks for the good advice!

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More Answers

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I agree with BeenThere. You've been the rock for months and the pressure is starting little cracks. You need some relief.
It is SO ok to take naps! (if you can find the time).
And yes, eating is what happens when you are tired and sleep deprived. The sugar keeps you awake. Kind of like the computer screen lights affect your body's production of melatonin and you can stay up too long on the computer without realizing how tired you really are.

I recently became really aware of this, and now I even turn my digital clock to face away from the bed so I don't see the green glow from the numbers.

At night, grab a book and curl up on the sofa to read. If you catch yourself dozing in less than 10 minutes, then just make yourself go on to bed. You are sleep deprived. And that will affect every other aspect of your life. Including your hunger cravings and what you choose to satisfy them.
I know it is hard to find time. But really, that last box can sit for another week. The dishes can wait. You don't REALLY have to throw that one extra load of clothes in the washer TONIGHT.

Go walk around the block when you first get home... to clear your mind an rev up your body. But when dinner is over, really consider if you HAVE to do the things you are doing.
It sounds to me like the last thing you need is a list of things to try to relax. Throw away the lists! Just let some of what you have made yourself believe MUST be done, just wait. It'll be ok. Honestly, it will.

Unwrap a small piece of chocolate (or half a bag of Hershey's kisses if you want) and indulge in a few moments of NOTHING. Don't try to squeeze in a movie. Don't worry about finding a redbox. Don't start looking for a workout buddy. Just kick back, put your feet up, and take a nap. :)
There is time for all the other stuff next week. :))

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

It's ok to fall apart now. I know it's not logical. Except it is logical.
I saw a saying that goes, you don't cry because you are weak but because you have been strong too long. I think that applies to you. You need to prioritize the person who takes care of the son you love, you. He needs you to be a safe, secure, source of happiness. What used to do that for you?

Digital photography is pretty cheap if you have a camera already. The botanical gardens in Fort Worth are free and we are coming up on a good time to wander around there. Find how you nourish you.

The Zumba sounds great. I have been trying to lose wt for a year and have been doing running/walking. Somedays I want to eat everything in sight. Really, it balances out. There are somedays you need it. But being tired will increase your appetite. We had trouble with our youngest sleeping till about 7 th grade. What soul draining thing.

But there are worse things. You are climbing out of worse things now. Just think how far it's possible you can go. It will get better. This too shall pass.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi P.,
Wow--you've had a LOT going on, for sure.
If you like movies, do you have a second run/dollar theater near you?
Or Redbox video rentals---like a dollar & change for a day's rental.

Do you like to read (I do!)? Sometimes it's nice to just get out, grab a coffee or tea & read at the coffee shop. Or a book shop. Have you checked out your local library yet?

You like the Zumba, maybe a walk would be a good stress relief on non Zumba days?

And maybe, just maybe....take a NAP!!!

And it's OK to veg out once in awhile too! :)

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

P.:

WOW!! Sounds like a lot on your plate.

I would start a gratitude journal - so you can see all the good in your life.

Go to sitter.com and find a sitter for your family. Then start taking time for yourself. If you can't afford a sitter...start taking your son to the "Y" with you....or walking around the block....

Things don't have to cost money to take care of you. You can give yourself a manicure and a pedicure....

You are NOT alone!!! If you have insurance, see if they cover therapists and start talking to one as well...this way you can learn how to deal with the stress of life and compartmentalize the things that are causing you stress.

YOU CAN DO IT!! You are in control!!! You've got this!!!

3 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

hugs, this might not be the best place for you. I spend tooo much time on here it's addicting.

snacking is ok if it's healthy snacking.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Now that you have the home -- the job -- the school stuff all settled it's time to work on the friends part. Joining the Y is great, hopefully you will find some nice ladies to hang out with. But also check out meetup.com for Moms groups. There may be a group for moms with Autistics.

I do the same thing when I am over tired or over stressed --- I eat. Sometimes it feels like PMS cravings and always late at night.

Time to find some good friends to share a bottle of wine and laughter.

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A.C.

answers from Madison on

I would suggest you get your adrenals checked--the best person to check them would be a naturopath, because they use a test that will tell you if your adrenals are mild, moderately, or severely depleted. If you get tested at your regular allopathic doctor, even if your adrenals are mild, moderate, or severely depleted, they will tell you that you are fine. They do not consider any issues with adrenals to be issues unless you have Addison's disease or Cushing's Disease. And by that time, you DO have a disease and have no way of treating and stopping the problem before it is a serious and chronic, lifelong disease.

Being very tired/not getting enough sleep and then eating a lot/snacking (probably because your body/adrenals are looking for the sugar high, which lasts for a few hours and then your body crashes again) are symptoms of depleted adrenals. You can heal the adrenals--if you know there is a problem with them.

I know.I had all of the same symptoms you currently have. I have moderate adrenal fatigue and have been doctoring with a naturopath for the past five years to get them healed.

You NEED some time to yourself. And you need to find out if you have adrenal fatigue so that you can do something about healing them.

This is serious. The adrenals are part of the hormone regulating system of your body. Not healing them can lead to even worse health issues.

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