My two kids are 6 and 4. They are going to accompany me to the doctor's office during the procedure, then obviously, after, my husband is going to be "resting" for a while, no doubt with a bag of frozen corn on his nether regions. I think that they'll be asking questions..."What is daddy doing at the doctor?" "Why can't daddy play with us?" etc. I have some ideas of how I want to address these questions, but wanted some advice from the moms (and dads) who have been there. And I know it will be a pretty quick recovery process, but I figure there will be at least an afternoon/evening of curious questions from them. Anyone been down this road?
Edit to Add: Circumstances prevent us from leaving the kids at home while he goes to the appointment. They're pretty good about entertaining themselves, though, so I'm not concerned about their behavior at the the doctor's office...just how to succinctly answer any inquiries they might have. Thanks for the advice!
Daddy had a sick tummy and he needed to go to the doctor and he has to rest. I think you can get around them not seeing him putting the "frozen peas" on himself. Also, after a couple of days he should be fine and if he's not, he's milkin' it...
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How is this different than if he were sick from the flu? If he needs to put ice on his nether regions, does he need to let the kids see that? I see no point in that. He should have a blanket on his lap or go rest in your bedroom and keep the door closed. Tell the kids to be quiet and let dad be alone because he isn't feeling well.
As for when you go to the doctor's office, I think you simply say "dad has a doctor appointment like when you have to go for a check up," and leave it at that. They're not going to be allowed to see anything, and I wouldn't recommend going into the exam room prior with the kids in tow. Wait in the waiting room and take him home after without discussion with the kids.
For you or dad to make a big production or over explain the whys and hows over the surgery in front of the kids is pointless and opens unnecessary cans of worms IMO. Make this business as usual and keep the whining, comments, etc. between the two of you.
why do you feel that this is any of your children's business? get a sitter. would you want the kids with you if you had work on your private area? this is not anything that they need to be part of. Bring your hubby home and tell the kids daddy is not feeling well and keep them off of him. at 4 and 6 they are old enough to get that. as far as the ice pack yes he will need it but put him in a chair with a blanket and keep the kids off. my boys were new born, 5 and 7 when hubby had this done. he spent one evening in the chair with ice pack. then a day in the bedroom watching tv / playing on nintendo. i kept the kids out. i am the adult they are kids lol. told them to go about their business. I guess we just didn't feel like they needed any more info than daddy doesn't feel good.
First off... I'd suggest that your kids stay home. Entertaining kids in the doctors office waiting room isn't pleasant - for you or the other patients. Also, your DH may be in a bit of pain immediately afterwards (mine was) and may not want to be surrounded by the normal noise and excitement of kids.
We just said, daddy doesn't feel well and has to rest. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Dad had surgery, he needs to recover. They don't really want or expect anything beyond that.
Let them be helpful, they like that. Like could you get daddy some water.
At 6 and 4, you just say dad had some surgery and will have to be very soft and gentle with him for a few days.
They do not need to know the nuts and bolts.
FYI, I would call sitting service, in case it takes longer or there are any complications.
After my hubby had his done and the kids asked questions, we just told them that daddy had a surgery and needs to rest. Our son asked what was wrong with his "nether regions" that he had to have surgery. We just told him that we were happy with all the kids we had, so daddy had a surgery so we couldn't have anymore kids.
The funny thing, a few weeks later the kids went to their grandparents for a week and my son told them that daddy couldn't afford anymore kids because the doctor took a penny out of his sack in his pocket. (Not sure where he got that, but it was hilarious!)
Dad had surgery and needs to rest.
My husband had it when my kids were 6, 4, and 2...they knew daddy needed rest and they ran the frozen pea bag up and took back the one we needed to refreeze. Easy peesy.
I recommend to leave them at home or with a sitter. My husband was FINE right after, but not the following days...but what if he needs you during.
The doctor that did mine also encouraged wives to be in the room while it was going on. I held his hand for him :).
My kids were five and two at the time. We just told them the basic truth. Daddy wasn't really sick, the doctor just needed to cut a special tube inside of him. My son did ask why, and we just said it was something we wanted done to "help" Daddy. They were more excited to change out gel ice packs than anything. :) It wasn't a big deal. (And my hubby just kept a blanket over him for privacy. I don't think they even knew for sure where he was putting the ice)
I had to take both of mine with me too. We were only there for twenty minutes. I brought the DVD player and head phones for my youngest and the gameboy (yes, my old gameboy :) ) for our oldest. It was no problem.
For daddy's sake, I would not take the kids to the procedure. They don't need a complicated explanation. "Daddy isn't feeling well and the doctor is helping him, he will need to rest for a few days, so we need to be extra quiet".
Blessings.....
I agree with some of the others, if you can leave the kids with a sitter or family member. Sometimes it may take longer than normal if they get behind schedule.
My husband had his done our son was 6 and our daughter 1. With our youngest being so little she didnt know the difference and as for our son we just said Daddy had to have surgery and he didnt question anything after that. It helped that he was in school at the time we where at the hospital.
Just be truthful. You guys have decided that you have all the perfect children that you want and daddy had surgery so you guys can not have any more children.
~Just so you know, the recovery process was really easy for the men in my family, didn't even slow them down?! The day of, there was working up on the roof fixing things...up and down the ladder and out shopping. My BIL said the worst part was smelling the burning from the soldering that takes place, yuk! Hope your husband's recovery is as easy as it was for us over here!
Mommy and Daddy have the perfect number of kids so daddy is going to have a little operation to keep mommy and him from having any more kids. Daddy will have to rest for a few days afterwards. My son had minor surgery at age 4. Happily we had been reading 'Curious George Goes to the Hospital' for a number of years before that. It is a great book for explaining hospitals to kids (it was actually a collaboration between Boston Children's Hospital and the Reys who wrote the book).
We just said Daddy had an operation so we would not have any more kids. THey didn't ask too many questions and they were 3 and 6.
@ Laurie HAHA Nuts and bolts. No pun intended. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.
My neighbors husband just had this done last week and their daughter is 9. He has had back problems in the past so they just told her his back was hurting and that he needed rest. He didn't need an ice pack and barely needed meds. (I know all this b/c my husband is going to do this next year and I asked his wife a bunch of questions so that I was prepared for what my husband would go through) Recovery was quick and he was back on his feet the next day, of course every person is different.
Kind of a tangent, but I brought my 9-month old to my husband's vasectomy and they actually had a policy that you could not bring children. My brilliant husband missed that important piece of information. Anyway, apparently since it's a urology clinic, many men are there for infertility problems so they don't want the presence of children to upset patients. Of course, the pediatric wing of the hospital was 50 ft down the hall. But, I digress.
Anyway, hopefully your husband is on top of things and it's cool to bring kiddos. But it might be wise to check.
Well, when we spayed our dog and cat, the boys would ask why they can't have kittens/puppies anymore.
We just told them they had a special procedure done so that they can't have babies. Much more than that and you are going into sex talk territory, since kids KNOW females have babies but don't really know the whole men's role!
Or, you can just say daddy has an owie on his privates that his Dr had to take care of, and it will take a few days for him to feel better, so no jumping on daddy's lap.
