We are going to visit my brother and niece this weekend and celebrate the holidays. He has been dating a girl for a year now and she has a 10 yr old son. This relationship is serious and she and her son will be moving in with my brother and niece in January. I want to get the son a gift since they will be there for our get together. I spent $50 on my niece and her Christmas presents. Do I need to be equal and spend the same on her son? Or as long as # of gifts appear equal it should be good? Suggestions?
Thanks,
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Please treat him as one of the family and spend the same amount on him as other children in the family. You will be blessed for accepting him.
The LegoCity stuff can get expensive. Watch ToysRUs for their Lego Buy One Get One 50% off, or even the 50% off Lego deals. Then spend $25 - 30.
If he is really in to Lego, the smaller ones will be done in about 30 mins.
Edit: Hey Sam, I just saw that TRU is having a good deal on LegoCity, with an extra 25% off coupon (see their weekly flyer) today and Wed. 12/5. Ex. you can get a $50 LegoCity set for $25.
10 year olds know what things are worth so the number of gifts doesn't really matter. He will know that you spent more on your niece than you did on him and that can cause for some really hurt feelings, both his and your brother's girlfriend. I think it would do great for your relationship between the adults if you treat her son the same. It will show the GF that you are accepting of her son as one of the family. The last thing you want to do is alienate your brother's girlfriend and her son by spending less on her son, especially since it sounds like she will become family soon.
I think you should buy for the son and make it a meaningful gift. Not a cheap, token gift. I'm not sure if you need to worry about the monetary value if it is a well thought out gift.
On the other hand, do what you can afford. If you can not afford to do $50 and $50 than you could always scale back on your niece to make up for the 'nephew'.
If they are all going to move in together, I would try to treat the kids equally. Now, equally doesn't mean exact dollar figure sometimes (even among close family - nobody needs to know I found a deal for my mom's gift), but think about the kids opening gifts together and what would be a thoughtful present for him. Thank you for thinking about this and wanting to be fair.
So many families forget the children in these move in relationships. If this is serious and they are "movingin" does that mean a marriage soon? My opinion is he is now your nephew. And spend accordingly
I would spend equal or similar amounts even if it's just one gift. And like another said, make sure it's something that he wants.
He is ten...so more than likely he will be getting close to the age of figuring out what things cost....like a video game vs a board game (although some are pretty close).
I suggest spending at least $30...but make sure it is something he wants...like my 8 year old had a very specific list of things he wants for Christmas. Also, certain characters are really awesome at some ages and really "dorky" at others. Maybe check in with your brother about what he is into...
Good luck!!
Why would there be a difference?? Spend $50 on the son also. Kids his age would love lego's.
The gifts should be comparable in quality.
I spend $25 on my brothers g/f kids (the g/f and one kid live with my brother). I would never spend $50. Maybe when they get married or something, but these kids have no relationship to us, so I think $25 is very generous!
There is a big difference between a g/f kid and an actual blood relation, if you ask me. And if you shop smart, $25 is a lot of money. I always shop clearance, so for me it isn't a dollar amount, it's the actual gift.
This is a rather iffy situation, since they are not yet living together. There's always a chance the relationship will end before, or even after, she moves in. But the boy's feelings must be considered. If he will be there watching the girl unwrap her presents, he should have the same number of gifts. They should not be obviously cheaper than hers. No "DollarStore" items, unless she gets some, too. I don't see that it's necessary to spend the exact same amount on each, but he should have something nice, and age appropriate. If your brother has found "the right one", you'll want to help welcome her to the family. At the same time, you will show the boy that he is valued. That could be very important, to the boy and to your brother's home life.
the same amount as your niece. He;s essentially your nephew. treat him as such. worst case they break up and you went out of your way to treat him the same. best case- you're on your way to being his aunt and have treated him that way
Essentially this boy is going to be your nephew (not biologically and maybe not legally unless they ever get married but the relationship is still that). I urge you to treat him as your nephew rather than "just brother's girlfriend's son". He's new to your family and hasn't bonded with all of you so imagine how out of place he may already feel. It's great that you have already planned to give him a gift.
I don't think you have to spend exactly the same thing on him but gifts should be comparable in value (if you spend $20 on a gift that is valued at $50 that is ok, if you spend $30 or so that is ok too).
I suggest you find out what he likes so you are going in blind.
Personally, I would always err on the side of spending more. He is a kid, and is already a part of the family, even if his mom and your brother haven't officially "gotten hitched."
Being kind and treating a child fairly, as a equal to the other kids in the family, instead of a second class citizen/black sheep (not that you would!!!) is always the right thing to do, imo. Kids notice when they are treated the same or differently, and how you treat him now sets the tone for how you and others will treat him in the future.
The only thing I will say is that if this year's gift giving does get costly, the thing to do is to set the cost per child for gift giving lower next year ($50 per kid can add up fast if there are a lot of kids!). But do that across the board, and not just for one kid.
If you can, ask him mom what he'd like, one big present vs. a lot of smaller ones. She will know him best. And reaching out to the mom, and letting know that you care about her son and his wants, is a great way to start building a good relationship with this person that your brother obviously cares about. :)
It is kind of a hard question to answer. When my husband and I were dating I didn't expect any gifts for my kids when we visited for the holidays. It was a nice surprise.
I would say if you are going to do it then go with what you would if they were married. So if that is fifty do fifty.
