How Many Times Do You Have to Ask Your Kids to Do Something?

One time! They have learned that mom means business only after saying it a few times. Discipline immediately after not respondign the first time and they will learn. I have a 6yr, 4yr old.

HAHAHAHAHA ~ depends on what I am asking them to do - if I am asking them to come in and eat a bowl of ice cream for dessert I only have to ask once!! LOL -

I can't count high enough to answer this! lol

I tend to use humor or sarcasm.

Sometime TODAY please.

What are ya waitin' for Christmas!

There goes another Glacier!

I remember the first time I put on my shoes!

I remember KINDERGARTEN (obviously for older kids, tehehe).

It's not gonna pick ITSELF up!

Least you're not as slow as GRANDMA!

And so on....

Ummm, let's see...22... no, 23. Twenty-three times.

If you ever find a broken record, be nice to it, it could be the reincarnation of ME.

100 times when it's something they do not want to do...hardly ever have to repeat it when it's food or fun

I had a system when my daughter was in K and 1st grade that worked great.... we cut out, laminated and magnetized pieces of paper with the 'general stuff' that she did everyday. Morning were in yellow with suns and evening was in light blue with moon. They were all in a row on the left side of the fridge and as she completed her task she moved it over the right side under a picture of her smiling with her hands up "like if you say 'goal' and raise both hands straight up" to mean she was 'finished'. After she went to bed I moved them all back over to the left side for the next day.

It helped A LOT. I never had to ask her to brush her teeth. I never asked her to put on her shoes. I never double checked to see if she had lunch money. I never asked her to pull out an outfit for the next day.

What I did do was give her lots of atta-girl reinforcement for "getting her pieces moved before 7:30" or "I like how you didn't ask to watch TV until all your pieces were moved".

Now - once she hit 2nd grade.... that system was the baby system so she just made a list and checks it off (which has lasted us til 5th grade).

HOWEVER - the extra stuff that isn't every day..... like, go get your library book so we can take it back.... sometimes I feel like I ask a gazillion times (ok in reality 2 or 3).

Good luck!

Well, my kids are much younger, as in 1, 3 and 5 years. They know that if I ask them to do something they will get in trouble they are not standing up to do it within 10 seconds. Of course, it is usually things like, go start your homework (3 yo does coloring, the 5 yo practices penmanship). If it something I know they like, like the toys not being put away in their room, I have actually been known to box them up and put them in storage for a week if they haven't started within 1 minute. I don't have problems very often...

oh my gosh I feel like a broken record ALL DAY/NIGHT long!!! I wish I could give you some other kind of tried and true advice but I just am constantly reminding my kiddos to listen by at least the 2nd time of me asking them to do something. Also, I have an 8 year old girl and I get the "attitude" sometimes as well and I just have to kindly remind her to watch her "tone/attitude" and that usually snaps her right out of it. I find that calling them out on what they should or shouldn't be doing or acting like definitley works better than sitting back and ignoring it. :) Good luck, I feel like we'll always be broken records just spinning and spinning :) ha ha

2 minutes is a long time to wait. I ask my kids then expect them to IMMEDIATELY do it. If they don't, I ask them if they heard me and if they say yes, I ask why they aren't doing it. They usually do it then. My kids used to be bad at doing what I asked and it would get to the point I'd have to yell before they would do it. so we sat down as a family and told them they were to do what was asked THE FIRST TIME. If they didn't, they would get a warning saying, "I'm asking you again to put away your shoes...if you don't, you will get in the shower and go to bed (or whatever)". Then they either do what's asked, or get the consequence. That has worked really well for us. But you have to be consistant and do what you say and don't keep giving them chance after chance. Good luck.

My kids pretty much always do it on the first request. If I have to ask them a 2nd time to do a chore, they don't get paid their commission, so they have made it a habit to listen the first time!

If they are busy or overly excited about something, I give them some slack. But for the most part, I don't like repeating myself and they know it!

I only ask once. If I have to more then that they loose something near and dear for a day. This goes for all three of mine. 6, 4 and 3. We cut z man some slack because he is only three so he gets about two warnings and if he is not moving after two. He looses outside time or a fav toy or book. We have only had to go to that much about three times per kiddo they pick it up faster then you would think. Once you start removing what means life to them(in toys)they come around fast. Love and Logic helped out big time with this.

Sometimes what works with my son is giving him a "first-then" request. They use this method with him at school, as well as the picture schedules. First do your homework, then you can watch TV. First wash your hands, then you can eat dinner.
I'm still working on getting him to put on shoes with less reminders. If the bus comes and his shoes aren't on, I make him sit at the curb and put them on. The other day we went to visit grandpa, and my son did not put his shoes on after several reminders. He was upset when got there and he realized he couldn't play at the park across the street or even get out of the car because he didn't have shoes on.
When my son hasn't taken his ADHD meds, and we ask him to put on his shoes, his starts singing "shoes are shoe-pid".

You may not find this funny but I remember my little brother saying when he finally came in from playing after my mom called him 3x & asked "Why didn't you come when I called you?" - He said "you only called me two times"! I Have to say though, in your boys' defense, that if they're ADD, you may have to be sure they really hear you and make it real simple for them to respond or it may not even register in their cluttered brains.

I have a 6 yo and remind myself of that old Joan Jett song, what was it? "Woe baby, you're a nag, nag, nag, naggity, nag..."

I feel your pain!

I'm thinking THIS is why numers are infinite...

If it is cleaning (7 and almost 6), I have to remind mine every five freaking minutes. I have a boy and a girl but my son is DEFINITELY the one who needs someone on top of him to make sure he gets things done and he is older than my daughter. They are pretty good with simple tasks, like getting dressed, but even then my son spaces out sometimes.

Sounds like it's time to get some Supernanny advice. That's the best there is. Let attitude grow and you'll have major respect issues a couple yrs. down the line.
Time to nip this in the bud. They are at an easily distracted age. But it's no excuse.

Kids.
I think, Husbands are the same way.
And they are already grown up.

Make a list on a poster board, tack it up somewhere central.
On it, list down what they need to do when they wake up or come home and what time.
Succinctly.
Not too wordy.
Tell them, to LOOK at it when they come home.
They are old enough to read it.

If they don't do it, then YOU don't do it for them, either.
Teach them to cooperate.
That is what family is.
No rewards or tricks or treats for doing it.
It is just responsibility.

You can make a Husband 'to-do' list too.
LOL
If need be.

And the even sadder part is when we repeat ourselves...its stuff that they know already that they need to do!! LOL.. No momma, its not just boys its kids in general!! I have a 15yr old step-daughter, 11yr old and 6yr old daughters and 3yr old son...and they all cant remember from what day to the next the routine of household from the minute they get up to the minute they go to bed... LOL I swear, its EXHAUSTING!! Our lives would be so much easier if they would just do it in a timely manner the 1ST time we ask... Sorry momma, I have no advice.... I just can totally understand what your going through....LOL.. Let me know if you can come up with something for both of us can try... I am willing!! Good Luck!! : )

It may be COMMON to have to ask kids repeatedly to obey, but it is not NORMAL. Your sons are old enough to obey the first time. You need to give them one warning and then discipline them in a way that you and your husband are comfortable with. Be sure you sit them down and explain that you expect them to obey the first time before implementing it. And also, when you ask them to do something, have them respond with, ok, I'll do __________. Then you know communication has happened. If they agree to do it, and don't, well then that's disobeying. If they refuse to start off with, its disobeying, and if they didn't hear you, or chose to ignore you, they won't have that excuse anymore.

Best wishes!

This is very normal. I definitely wouldn't let the attitude go. As far as repeating things, it's up to you to decide how strict you want to be and be consistent. Something to consider: Do they really hear you? I know often I am busy and I give instructions but my daughter has her nose buried in a book or my son is in the middle of something or other and none of us are giving each other our full attention. When I make sure that there is eye contact and/or a verbal response to my request I get results.