How Many Hours Does Your Baby or Toddler Spends in a Daycare or Babysitter?

Both of my son's go from 7:30-4:30 to a home daycare. My older son started when he was six months as we were fortunate I could take that much time off of work. Now my younger son went at 5 weeks...and I felt horrible because of this. But you know what? My two little guys LOVE their daycare lady, Mrs. Becky. My two year old actually calls her his Nana. He even asks me over the weekend if he can go to Nana's house/school. I now feel no guilt what so ever by sending them everyday for that length of time. I just feel blessed and fortunate to have a daycare provider that loves my children the way she does!

I went to daycare as a child (and Latchkey once I started school). I was and still am extremely close with my mother. My brother who had the same is too. Don't worry about the bond. If it is going to be there, it will be there no matter what. I also have a 5 month old daughter that goes to daycare who lights up when she sees me and will eat and sleep better for me than anyone. I know she knows her mommy and we have a bond that no one else has! She will also have a bond with the daycare provider whom we love like family and that will be different and one of a kind too. Same as with her gramma, and aunt, and daddy, and brothers, etc. I am happy that my kids have such wonderful bonds and love from other people as well. I think they are extremely lucky to have so much love from so many places.

i drop my daughter off at 7:30 and she's picked up generally by 5, unless traffic or weather keeps me later. I wish I lived closer to my work, so she wouldnt have to be there so long, but that's how it is.

My daughter has been going to daycare since she was 2 months old. She has always had to stay about 10 hours a day - I work 8 to 5.

She is now a month away from 5 years old. She is doing great! She is in a Pre-K class and loves it. She is learning a lot of stuff every day - not only academics but also social skills.

JoAnn C's response is harsh. The idea that baby can't bond with mommy & daddy when they are at a daycare 10 hours a day is absurd! My daughter never had a problem with this. In addition to being away from us 10 hours a day, she's been away from her dad probably half of her life due to military assignments & deployments. Guess what? She is a TOTAL Daddy's girl!! She knows who Mom & Dad are & knows we love her.

Also, while working from home sounds great, not everyone has the opportunity to do this. So suggesting that isn't really reasonable. Plus, I work from home on days when my daughter is sick, or if her daycare is closed & my office is not. I barely get any work done!! Working from home just means you'd be working TWO jobs from home! lol

JoAnn C - not only is your response obnoxious and ignorant but it doesn't even answer her question so totally irrelevant. Get a life.

Yep, our daughter went 8 to 9 hours every day and she loved it..
We also met some great parents. They had lots of fun opportunities and great caregivers..

JoAnn C... "I love the Lord with my whole heart." great example of a good Christian you got going there.. Way to represent.. Making judgments and trying to hurt other moms who love their children as much as the rest of us..Take a look in the mirror and think of all the feelings you hurt today..

A daytime orphanage, seriously JoAnn C.??? Moving on before I type something nasty....

My son spends 9 hours in his daycare. I love every teacher and they love him!!! Yes, I miss him deeply each day, but I do have to work, just like you!

I wish you all the very best in your transition!

Well, I will chime in. As a home childcare provider, and lifelong child care professional, I agree that Joanne's post was ridiculous, harsh and unrealistic. Many of my clients are here a normal 7-9 hours, 4-5 days a week. They always, always know who Mommy and Daddy are, are fully bonded with them, but do have a bond with me as well, that is different, just as it should be. I am a supplementary care giver. I love their children and their parents trust me with their care. It would not work otherwise.

Perhaps Joanne had a bad experience with childcare, or does not realize how truly fortunate she is to have the luxury, as I feel in todays society and financial scope, it is a luxury to be able to be a SAHM and not struggle. Good for you that can make it work, I applaud you! And for those who work..because you need to/want to I REALLY applaud you as well. I, personally, am in the weird place in between. I have always been "home" ...but yet I work as well with a houseful of other children to teach and love and care for.

My biggest issue on this site, with comments like Joanne's, is the venom and ill feeling that seems to come from the post. Ugh.

Joann C has NO clue, I care for children during the day most are here for 8-9 hours a day. I yes I DO CARE for all my little ones as much as my own. Some of the children still keep in contact after they've gone to school and Graduated HS. If I didn't give that kind of care do you really think they would keep in touch. Don't feel guilty your babies will always know who mommy is but isn't good to know they love their care provider too.

Usually around 9 hours but we lucked out with hubby's new schedule and they will only need care 1x a week and they'll be going to a friends house from 745-5. Don't feel guilty - (easier said than done!) - no matter what you do you will feel guilty (leaving them or keeping them at home too much as one poster said). You are doing what you have to do so as long as your happy with your daycare, then be happy knowing they are with people who love them (not as much) but a lot like you do!

Grrrrrrr... I really don't like being called out in public or calling someone else. But I have to also agree that I'm giving an anti-flower, thumbs down, and the rasberry to what Joan C said.

First of all, I've been a family caregiver for 24 years and I don't run an orphanage! Second of all, if I had the money to run an orphanage, I'd do it lovingly and make it fun for all! Grrr...

Okay now in answer to your question.. My average daycare parent works 8-9 hours per day with a 1 hour lunch. With drive time included it's an average of 9-10 hour days. In fact, single moms will be 10-11 hour days. Two parent families often have one drop off later and one earlier so that the child only needs to be in care 8 hours or even a bit less depending on their schedules. But the average child that I see is not from a two parent home.

Many of my kids have been with me since birth or soon after. They become like part of the family. Take 2 children I have right now in particular. 1 of the boys has been with me since 8 weeks. He's so comfortable with me that he gives me the same angst at times as he does his mother LOL! Most kids are better behaved for everyone BUT their parents. Anyway, he's a great kid, absolutely smart as a tack, and when he goes to school I will have had him 6 years because he missed the cut off for school. Does that sound like a boy that is lost and lonely without his mother? He's 5 and reads a little already and writes like a 1st or 2nd grader. He loves math and I could tell you intimately all his favorite foods, games, and the like.

Boy # 2 started at 16 months, also missed the cut off for school and will be with me until his mother moves out of state. He's been with me 4 years already. I've taught him almost as much as the other boy. He'll be ready for 1st grade when he goes back to school. Again, I know him intimately, his likes, dislikes, and of course, I know a lot about both these moms after all these years.

Our youngest baby is 6 months old. He's a dandy little guy. My mother and I love him to pieces. He's happy, expressive, learning so much it's astounding. He couldn't be happier. I'm on facebook with his mother and I see the pictures she posts and know pretty much all the time what his parents are up to, family visits, activities, when he was baptised etc. We are in constant communication during and after daycare. Does this sound like a child SHOVED someplace and missing out?

My best advice to you is find someone in their 40's, Christian, that has been providing care more half or more than half their life like me. Choose a home over a center because they will get more attention. Make sure they are smoke free, drug free, and that their home seems always to be clean and cared for. There are MANY of us in the world that make childcare our life. We are in every city. Just look and don't stop looking until you find the right person.

Just wanted to say don't worry about leaving them in daycare for that long. My two are in daycare and they know that I am there mother and are crazy about me. They love their day care providers, but trust me your kids will know you. I have not seen one child prefer their day care provider over their own parents. Everyone has to do what's right for their family.

With regard to Joann's comment, "take what you like and leave the rest." JoAnn's response to your posting is HER opinion and perhaps her own experience. It is a narrow minded response and doesn't take into account that some people have to work and therefore, they choose the BEST option for their children.

Oh my goodness! JoAnn C. you couldn't have sounded more ridiculous! Anyway J G. do not feel bad. When my 1st child was 6 weeks he started daycare because I also worked full time and he went until he started kindergarten and did the before and after school care until he was about 8. I'm not working now so my daughter who is 15 months is not in daycare and that is only because we can't afford it, if I could she would be going at least a few days a week. I have seen kids that don't go to daycare/preschool and I don't think it's good for them to be home all the time with mommy/daddy. A friend of mines kids NEVER went to daycare and they couldn't be anywhere unless mommy or daddy was right there and they didn't know how to socialize with other kids and they were also behind academically! Daycare can be a wonderful experience for the child and the parents as long as you do your research and choose the right one. The one my son went to was wonderful! They did more than just "supervise" the kids. He was advanced...he knew his letters, numbers, shapes, colors, and could write his name by the time he was about 3! He is now in all AG classes in the 6th grade! I'm not trying to brag I'm just letting you know it can be a really good thing and even being with someone else all day that they will still grow up to be wonderful children and love you no less...and don't listen to other people just because you have to work and put them in daycare is not a bad thing and it doesn't mean they won't feel loved and secure...when they get old enough if you talk to them they will understand that you did what was best for them. Good luck!!!

I run a home daycare. most of my kids spend between 7 and 9 hours per day. Your baby will always know that you are her M. and will always love you best. Make sure to find a good provider. I feel as though there can never be too many people loving your baby!! She will learn useful tools in daycare and will also learn tons from M. and daddy while she is at home! Please do not feel guilty. It is funny, I am home with my daughter all day. I also feel guilty because she is not out and about as much as I would like her to be since I am home doing daycare.

I think it is in our nature to feel guilty about our kids and their lives!! While you are wishing you could be with your daughetr more, I am wishing mine would have more of a chance to go out and do things without me!!

8-10 hours/3 days a week from 9 weeks of age until 4-1/2, now 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. He LOVES preschool. He loved daycare and he loves playing with other kids. When he is home with us a few days, he wants to know when we can find other kids to play with. It is really good for a child to have two sane parents and ours would not if I did not get to work outside the home. SAHM may be a good choice for some, but certainly not for all.

I work 12 hour shifts so this is how it goes for us. 6:30a-7:30p three days a week, then 8am-3pm the other two days. I send the kids to daycare the two days I don't work so they stay on their schedule well and they love playing with their friends every day.

@JoAnn C. - Been off your high horse much?

When my kids were babies, it was 10 hours each day - Monday through Friday. Now we have an au pair and they attend parents day out or preschool 4 hours and 8 hours, respectively Tuesday and Thursday, and spend 45 hours a week with the au pair (as legally limited to 45 per Department of State Regulations). Your kids will be find, just find a place that you trust -- trust your gut and find somewhere that generally seems to like children :) That is what I did when I was looking for caregivers and it hasn't steared me wrong yet!

Best wishes

7-10 depending on meetings. I try to alternate it so on a day i work a lot, the next day I leave early. I also plan strategic days off where my kiddos and I get to do something special, just the three of us to build memories and give us something to look forward to after weeks that feel so jam packed.
At three months, it was seriously just a fun day at home playing on the floor, nursing and reading books:)

10 hours for us but she seriously LOVES being social and LOVES daycare. She has been going since she was 7 weeks old and she is 2 1/2 now. She even asks us on the weekends if she gets to go to daycare. I hate that it has to be so many hours but I'm glad that she enjoys it.

9hrs day/5 days a week with a nanny that comes to our home.
She is WONDERFUL and they kids are vibrant and love her.

Keep in mind that they may benefit from being away from you. It's not always bad.

Hi Mama
My son who is now 3.5 years has spent 9hrs a day (sometimes less),5 days a week in daycare since he was 6mths old, while I go to work.
At the start I felt bad too but I have realised very clearly how much my son loves it.
Just this Christmas,after being at home with us for the week he was asking "when I am going back to creche?"
As he is an only child I think he gets bored with being at home for long periods because at daycare is has so many friends to play with.
Don't be so hard on yourself Mama.
Best of luck
B.

It's easy to have the same opinion as Joanne does if you have the luxury of staying home.A little tacky on the way she said it, but I agree w/the issue of spending time w/your child over others. however, I also have the luxury of choice. I only work part time and would be absolutely devistated (as i was originally) working full time w/my baby in daycare for 8 hrs. But with that being said, you are also trying to make a LIFE for your child by working. So it is what it is. If you had a choice maybe it would be different. The reality is many people just don't have a choice. We didn't at first and we figured out how to live off our taxes (cuz i was crying everyday dropping him off) and things just worked out. I managed to cut down to 3 days and even that was hard for me emotionally. long story but dr's orders out of daycare and i quit my job. I think most Full time parents have their kids in from 8-at least 5. 9 hrs. just the way it is. some people as well, don't WANT to stay home cuz the repitition or whatever drives them crazy. I'm not one of them though i definately have those days.
It is what it is. so if there's no choice, and you have no control, stop thinking about it. If you DO you may want to spend more time with them.

Well, my husband stays home, so our kids don't actually need to be in day-care, but I thought I'd give you a little support -

We really didn't want our oldest in anyone else's care. My husband quit his job. We scraped by (and then I got promoted). We didn't put him in anything until he started pre-school at age 4. AND - we would have been wise to get him into some sort of program sooner.

Our middle child (age 2) now goes to a PDO 2 days a week (5 hours/day). He loves it SO much and it has done him so much good, we'd have him in 5 days/week if we could afford it!

Try not to feel bad. If you find a good place, it can be wonderful. I cannot imagine doing it at 3 months. That must hurt (!) I feel for you. But I can assure that your 2 yo will do GREAT in the right place.

*hugs*

From 2mo - 3.5 years my son only spent about 10 hours a week in childcare, because I was in school so I only needed those hours covered (2 classes + drive time). But I also traveled quite a bit, and only took him with me about half the time.

From 3.5-4 : 4 hours a day 3 days a week (preschool)
4-5 : 5 hours a day 4 days a week (preschool)

We ALL have different needs. I was in school (still am) while he was little. When I was working I worked nights (up all day, work all night is NOT a period of time I remember fondly).

DO know, babies work their schedules to be "with" mom 99 times out of 100. Your daycare will get better naps than you EVER will... and those naps will be considerable. Usually of those 9 hours, 4-6 of them will be spent sleeping the first 1-2 years. CONVERSELY she'll be up longer and later when she's with you. Guaranteed. Kids know who their mum is. It was a *crackup* every quarter because my son would change his naps to "match" my classes. When I took day classes he was up at night, night classes and he was up in the daytime. It took him a week on average to adjust his schedule to maximize the time he spent awake with me. Of course, that meant that I didn't get anywhere NEAR enough sleep.

I am fortunate enough to be a stay at home mom. However, for my friends whose children are in daycare...it seems like 8-10 hours is usually the average.

10hrs/day M-F

2 days with G-ma, 3 days in daycare.

Mine are at School/daycare for 11 hours a day. Not fun but we make the most of out evening and weekends.

When I worked in childcare most kids (babies included were there on avg between 7:30-5:30pm.