I have recently had to put my son in full time Montessori school. I work full time from home and could no longer care for him and keep up with my work. He is 2 years old and has always been home with me. In September, he starting going to a preschool for 2 mornings a week. So, he has been apart from me, but never for a full day. He cries every single morning. Says he doesn't want to go. I know it is a good school because my daughter went there and she loved it and I have known the owner for about 9 years. I even worked at the school when my daughter went there (she is 12 now so this was a long time ago). I know that he just needs to get used to the fact that he has to stay there all day - but this is so heartbreaking. How long do you think this will go on? My daughter never had a problem being dropped off at day care so this is very new to me. I just need to know there is an end to his unhappiness in sight.
ETA: I have a conversation with the teacher at the end of everyday and he is ok about 5-10 minutes after we leave and has been doing very well with the montessori program. My husband usually drops him off in the mornings, but I had to do it this morning and we try to be upbeat and tell him how much fun he will have, etc.
How is your attitude when you drop him off? If you are tense or regret taking him(even if is just tension over his reaction), he will pick up on it. An upbeat attitude from you will go a long way to make him feel better about the separation.
Sure, he will get used to it eventually.
An alternative is: to get a Nanny for home and to watch your son and take him out. So that you can work.
basically your little boy is in a Montessori daycare. Had he been going since he was born he wouldn't have known anything different - but he's still getting used to some of it. He probably doesn't nap as well, maybe there's another child there who intimidates him for some unknown reason. Maybe he doesn't like the snacks, or having his diaper changes, etc. With kids this age it could be a really tiny thing that's easy to change - or it could be something that he doesn't even realize (He feels scared sleeping somewhere other than his crib, there's too much stimulation and it's overloading his system, etc.) talk to him about school when you're in a cosy home environment. Ask him what is the best thing about school? friends, music, toys, snacks, circle-time, nap-time? Then ask him what's the worst stuff about school - kids, music, free pkay time? Taht will give you some indiactors as to what's disturbing him. It could be that nothing in particular is a problem but that he just prefers to be home. I can relate! Soemtimes kids cry just for their parent's "benefit" particularly if they see that it affects you.
An 85 yr old sunday school teacher told me how to handle this and it works like a charm - the next time you pick him up while you're in the car tell him how glad you are that he has a good time at school. Tell him how proud you are that he's making friends and learning things. Tell him that you know that it can be tough to say good bye to daddy in the morning when he bring him to school but you know that since he's growing up that he'll go to school like a big boy without tears. Just tell him that you know he can do it and you're so proud of him. then the night before he goes to school (sunday nite?) as you prepare for bedtime and you're reading a book tell him again how confident you are that he's going to go into school happy and knowing he'll have a good time. Tell him that you look forward to the morning because you know he'll do really well. Then that morning remind him of yoru expectations. Tell him youknow he can do this and you're so proud of him. He will live up to your expectations - even at the tender age of 2.
Enjoy every precious moment of your boy being 2 it is a sweet season.
He will do it as long as he has your attention. Most kids do this for a day or so, it could last a week or more if he's getting any sort of inclination that you are feeling guilty too.
I have over 13 years in child care and I know from this experience that most kids stop crying before mom or dad get out the front door. They hardly ever cry past a few minutes if the teacher is any good at their job. Most of them are super busy during drop off time. They can't stop to hold your child or to pay them a lot of attention. This makes it hard on some parents who want them to take their child and they want to see the teacher reacting in a big positive way towards their child. So if this is the case, the teacher is busy, just know that as soon as they can they will get to them and comfort them.
I bet he is okay with this pretty soon. I think the absolute longest it took one child was about 3 weeks. His mom would keep him home for any sort of reason so he thought if he cried all day his mom would keep him home more. It didn't work, she was going through a job change and could not take off.
Hopefully your little one will be okay with the drop off very soon. I know it's hard but the best thing you can do is walk him to class, stop at the door, hug him by in a normal way, hang up his stuff, then walk away. Don't look back to wave, just walk away.
Full day is a long time for a 2 year old. However, he will get used to it. It is a big adjustment is he ok after you leave or does it take a long time to settle down. They know how to pull at our heart strings!!!! Just give him time. Probably worse for you then him.
When I was in HS I worked at a daycare. It was so common for kids to cry everyday at drop off. I would recommend that you say goodbye, tell him you will be back later and then make a quick exit. The parents that dragged out the goodbye made it so much worse for their child. We used to tell the parents to just go and look back in the window in about 15 seconds. Typically soon as the parent was out of sight the crying would stop very quickly. The longer the parent stayed the more upset the child seemed to get which would then take them longer to control themselves an calm down.
Yeah, I think 2 years old may be a little too soon for your son; remember that each child is different. Our child started preschool at 3 and only went for 4 hours 3 days a week and cried at dropoff for 3 months solid. I was also going to suggest hiring an in-home nanny for a year or so, as SH did below.
What does the teacher say? Does he cry the whole day or a good portion, or does he get on with it and start having fun?
