How Long to Wait for Number Two

that is pretty much up to you as to how to space them. My kids are 3 1/2 years apart and I was glad for that. By the time my daughter came my son was not wanting to be a baby anymore and was a big help. I was 35 for the first and 38 for the second but I did have a miscarriage just before my daughter was concieved. Too close together and the one is vying for attention and doesn't get their full time as a "baby" but that is just my opionion. They are now 7 and 10 and can play together.

Had mine when I was 33 and tried and succeeded for number two baby when the first was 15 months old. They were full term and 23.5 months apart :) AND ALL HEALTHY

A.,
I got pregnant with baby #2 when baby #1 was 9 months old. I was 29 when I got pregnant with #1 and 30 with #2. My first was a normal pregnancy, delivered normally 11 days late. My second was a normal pregnancy, induced by breaking of the waters at 3 days early b/c I was already 7cm dilated and we didn't want to chance me going into quick labor with no help around but my 1-yr-old son.

That said, I think you should consult with a handful of OB's to see what a medical consensus would be.

Good luck!
T.

You and your husband are not that old, so you can easily wait a year or two. My kids are 3 years apart, and that has worked great. They are super friends and the timing re: nursing and preschool worked out well. I think any age span can work out very well, whether close together or farther apart. It just depends on the kids' and parents' personalities.

Best of luck!

I have my children spaced 20 months apart. The most important thing to consider is the temperment and attitude of your 1st. I had my second too soon, and my oldest still needed a lot from me. Some people can do it, you just have to really evaluate whether the child is ready. I wished I had waited til he was two to two and a half. They still play together, but it is a little easier on you. Mine will be two years apart in school anyway b/c of their birthdays. That's just me. It was rough on my body and I had VERY little help. So, if you have a lot of help from families and friends it may not be too bad.

My mother had me at 38 years old and for many that is young to todays standards, many aren't starting till they are about 40 doing the career thing first. 32 years old isn't old, since that is how old I am, grin. Next week I'll be having my 3rd in three years, I will say pregnancy isn't exciting or fun as 1st time mothers may deem it to be, but our babies have all come out fine and so far my body is surviving.

The older you get the harder it is on your body. I had my first when I was 26 years old and I noticed the difference between those 4 years in my pregnancy and energy levels. I wish I'd been able to get all mine out in my 20's but that wasn't to be the case and so now we are working on getting our 5 out sooner rather than later. I'd rather get this stage over and done with before I turn 35 years old.

I think the best part of having the kids close together is they play well together and have a strong bond and protect each other, and that I love to see. As for the parents the younger we are the more energy we have to give them the time and attention they so desperately need in todays society.

If you both are thinking to start trying give it a go and see what happens.

Good Luck.

A.,
Have your babies when you are ready! God gave us our babies in his time when we were ready. We have three boys ages 11, 10, and 6. The oldest was 7 months old when I got pregnant with the second. You will know when you are ready. Just listen to your body and don't worry about what everyone else says. I wanted my third child closer but my husband wasn't sure so we waited (for him) :). My babies were all full term healthy boys.
Wishing you the best, A.

I have 2 children that are 18 months apart and it was hard at first, let me tell you. The kids are really close and I think that has a little to do with their age difference. You are already in baby mode so I think it better to have more now then to wait until you get used to not having to change diapers or wake up in the middle of the night. They say it takes your body a year to fully recover from having a baby so if you wait a couple of months and start trying your body will have had plenty of rest. There are far more risks I think to having babies later in life then there are if you have babies in quick succession. Good luck and I wish you the best in whatever you choose.

I would reiterate that if you are nursing, you should try to wait until your first one is weaned. I've heard that pregnancy can have many adverse effects on breastfeeding like milk drying up, or changing the taste of the milk so baby doesn't like it any more. I've also heard that pregnancy hormones can cause some strange, but harmless effects on a nursing baby, like temporary breast growth and such. I would ask your doctor about all of that though.

The only other thing I have to mention is that you are definitely not "older" parents. You have plenty of time. Everyone has been saying 35, but the medical profession is actually revisiting that arbitrary line in view of all of the advances and the way people take care of themselves these day and I heard that they were considering moving the line to 40. Again, I'm not sure, ask your doctor.

My two boys are 5 years apart and I love it. It's the best thing I ever did. I got to experience my first one's entire early childhood without distractions and only had my second one when my first was moving into another "chapter" of childhood. My older son is so proud of what a great big brother he is, and what a great baby helper he is. He's like an extra set of hands and absolutely ADORES his little brother. He was old enough to understand when I talked to him about how helpless he was as a baby and how much help he needed for everything all day, then I related it to his new baby brother and he really felt like a grown up because he didn't need that much help any more etc... I love a big age difference. I was adopted and my little brother was 10 months younger than I and we never really got along, I think we were way tooo close in age, even my little sister (2 yrs. younger) and I never really got close. Too much competition for friends and parental affection.

These are some thing to think about, but do what feels right for your family. Good Luck!

I would recommend waiting a year or 2. My kids are 2 years and 2 weeks apart (no, the second one was not planned). Not only physically, but there are alot of things to consider. The cost of formula, diapers, gear and all that stuff. Also, having a 2 year old who can help you and entertain herself is a blessing. Plus, you won't be having to deal with 2 getting up in the middle of the night for feedings and all that. Fortunatly our oldest was out of Diapers when we had our second, and we kept the car seats and all that stuff just incase and I am glad since we didn't have to re-purchase a lot of the big stuff. Our car seats, highchair and bedding was gender neutral so we really got off cheap. But those are other things to consider when looking at having #2. Also you should talk with the doctor about your health and weight and all that stuff and maybe see about him putting you on some prenatals about 3 months before you try to conceive so you can make sure you are ahead of that. Good Luck

I have a seven month old as well, and will be waiting at least 2 more years before trying again. For me it's about waiting until my body has had the proper amount of time to heal. It will prevent possible problems for both you and your baby. I think that at 32 you're not too old to wait just a bit longer. I met several online women friends during my pregnancy who were in their late 30s when they became pregnant. They came through their pregnancies without any significant problems or preterm babies. The women I saw who had issues were 1) a woman who was overweight had an extremely preterm baby, and 2) a woman still in her 20s had her 4th baby, and was on bedrest for the last several months.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

Hi A.,

My husband and I are 32 and we have the same question. Our daughter turns one next week. My OB/GYN said to not come back to the office pregnant for a year. We'll it's now the next October and doc says it's safe to get pregnant again. I think it takes a about a year for your body to restore the nutrients that the pregnancy took. Now that a pregnancy would be safe, I've never been so scared!!! I told my husband to ask me again at Christmas. On the flip side, there are higher risks for pregnancies after age 35 and I'm a big chicken. Good luck finding the right answer for your family.

Have a great weekend,
S.

A.,

I am in the same position. My daughter is 7.5 months old. I'm 33 now (was 32 when number 1 was born), and my husband is 43. We also plan on having another child. I've spoken with my doctor, and he seemed to think that waiting until next summer to start trying again was a good idea (so essentially another year). If your first pregnancy went smoothly, they generally expect your second one to go well. I would think you'd be okay waiting a year or 2. I know that pregnancies after 35 are generally considered higher risk, but that just means they monitor you more closely for any abnormalities. Many women don't have problems around 35. That being said, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't wait longer than 2 years to start trying again....

Hi,
I am 36 and I had my first which was a boy at 31 and at 34 I had my little girl.They are both August babies which I did not plan it that way.haha. In my opinion I would wait at least a year. I waited until I had my first one out of diapers but that is just me. You still have plenty of time. You are only 32. If you did not have complications with your first child then that is good. You could always have them about two yrs apart. Start on you second one after you first one is a year old. I personally think it's better to have them later in life only because we are able to grow up and enjoy the young life before we take on a very serious responsibility. You can absolutely wait a year or two, no harm in that. Good Luck with your new baby and enjoy he/she as much as possible while still a baby because they grow up quick. God Bless

Hi A., that's totally up to you guys. We were in our 20's when our oldest son was born. At the time, we wanted our children closer in age say 2yrs apart. Well, we learned that it's not our timing but God's. Our second son wasn't born until 5yrs later! We didn't do anything any different with the second than we had done with the first. I remember every month when my cycle would come around, I was so sad...until one day! I had never been so excited to see a faint line on a prego test before that day! Remember when I said that we wanted them closer in age? Well, we learned quick and in a hurry that God's timing really is the best for us. They are best friends and worst enemies all at the same time some days; they are 100% 'normal' siblings. LOL!

Pray for wisdom and knowledge and direction from the Lord and it will be given to you, no doubt.

Good luck to you and your family no matter how big it gets! LOL!

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 12, 8 (as of today!) & 2 yrs old and married to my Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs. I love to help other moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal! If you or someone you know wants to become a SAHM, please email me at ____@____.com. Thanks!

A., the decision is mainly up to you and your husband. My sister and I are 11 months apart and my two sons are also 11 months apart. They are perfectly healthy boys...no complications. Why not do it now and get it over with? (smile) I wish you the best!!!

Hi A.,

I know you've gotten a lot of responses and it appears that you really can't go wrong. I am 45 years old and a mother of 2 girls. I have one child that just turned 16 and my other little girl just turned 5. I was worried about the age difference at first along with having a second child at 40 but I can say it has turned out really great. My sixteen year old is such a help. In the long run I don't think it really matters when you have your next child, just as long as you and your husband are happy and ready for the expenses (smile)! Good Luck.

that is a question for your doctor and you and your husband. i am due with our 3rd child. my first two are 19 months apart and this one will be 21 months from my second. we waited as "long" as we did because my 1st was an emergency c and the 2nd scheduled. the doctor wanted us to wait a year to give my body time to recover. we wanted our children to be close in age. if you are ready now, start trying now if the dr says it's ok. there may be other medical reasons involved for you.

I don't think you should wait. My cousin found out she was pregnant with her second child when her first was only 2 months. She carried the baby full term and had a healthy boy. I think it all depends on your pre natal care and your doctor. I definately suggest you talk to your doctor and let her know of your fears. Maybe he/she can help. Whatever you choose to do, GOD bless you and your family and all of your children.

I had mine when I was 35 and 37 with no issues. You should base your decision on how ready you are and how close you want your kids to be in age. Could you handle 2 babies so close in age? Some want to have kids close together and get the baby stage "over with." What would that mean to your first? Can your lifestyle handle 2 small children or would it be better to have them further apart? Just some questions to ask yourself--you have some time. Good luck!

I agree with Amber T. My two boys were 19 months apart, and even with family nearby to help out some it was sooo overwhelming. My first was very precocious, so I figured it would be OK to have another right away, since the elder one was so independent and capable. But I had a difficult pregnancy and an emergency c-section with the second, meaning that for nearly a year I was either sleepy (pregnancy related), sick, or unable to pick up the first child (surgery). Which was horrible. I love both my boys so much, so I wouldn't change it in that sense, but I really do wish I had waited a bit longer so I could be more present in the lives of each, rather than wearing myself out trying to do so much at one time. I think it very often goes right, but you can never tell ahead of time what your pregnancy and delivery are going to be like, so you might consider whether now is an OK time to be sick for 8 months on the off-chance it is one of those pregnancies ;) I wish you the best of luck and the most comfortable of pregnancies and deliveries either way!

Hi there, I have 3 daughters all close in age. I have heard about the pitfalls of waiting, due to age. I was 31 when I had my last child. I love having them close in age, even now at 9, 7 and 6 years old. I suggest you go for it, start now!

I think if feel ready to handle 2 at that stage go ahead. Had mine at 30 and 33...worked well but everyone different and I conceived first try both times. another friend who was 38 did back to back to be sure would have two...

Hi A., It depends on each family. If you guys are ready financially and emotionally, then you guys should talk about the pros and cons and take it from there. My brother and I are 13 months apart and I just LOVED having someone who was that close in age to me that I could relate to. We grew up being able to do a lot of things together. My SIL had her second child when the first was 3 yrs and that was a nightmare. The 3 yr old was soooo jealous, he would pick, yell, lightly tap the baby on it's head, throw toys at him. I told myself that I would not have my kids that far apart. I have a 10 mo 3 wk old daughter and we are trying for #2. I was hoping for them to be closer in age, but I'm happy that we are trying now.

I would question your doctor about this issue, and you would probably get a more appropriate answer more specific to you and your husband. We started trying for our second baby when the first was 7 months old...however, the first was 2 1/2 by the time we actually had our second daughter! It can take time...
K.

I did research on this because my husband and I want kids back to back. The one thing that I will listen to is my doctor said your body needs about a year before your hormones are all leveled out.

While no one can promise you that waiting won't result in waiting too long, I can assue you that you are not "older parents." I had my first at 36 and my second at 38. Most of the real worries kick in after 38 (I know because they watched that pregnancy like a hawk... lots of extra visits to the Dr.)

I don't think anyone actually knows what anyone else "should do" - including doctors who tell you to wait. For example, I pressed one Dr. who told me to wait after a miscarriage - "Do you mean I should wait because my body will get pregnant again and not be healed enough to carry that child to term, or because I am broken hearted?" He said I should wait because I was broken hearted. My husband and I tried again immediately and succeeded at the next ovulation and have our delightful 3yr old to show for it... then... when she was 11 months old we had a surprise - #2 was in the works (apparently you CAN ovulate when you are nursing)! It was FINE. Chaotic, sure. We're starting to come out of the real craziness now that she's 3 and he's 15 months and walking.

My point is, to trust your gut, your body, and your God to make it all happen for you. There really isn't much more to it than that. Love and best wishes for a happy healthy bouncing baby #2.

This is a tough decision and ultimately only you and your husband can come to the right decision. My children are 22 months apart. My first son was born when I was 32 (one month from 33) and my husband was 34. Second son was born when I was 34 (two months from 35) and my husband is 37 - so I think we are in the category of being a little older. Due to my age I did not want to wait. I guess if I were younger I would have been apt to wait a little longer between children but God blessed me with two children who are 22 months apart. It is great. And I actually love the age difference, I hope that they will grow up to be best of friends. And because of the closeness in age they will be able to participate in activities together. I have talked with some mothers who had a bigger age gap like five years and was told that can be difficult due to one child is in activity that the younger can not particpate in. My second pregnancy went fine. He was breach but was born healthy and really the pregnancy went fine! Be prepared though, it is funny, the first pregnancy is all about you but the second you do not have much time to focus on being pregnant which is kinda good. The first pregnancy every little thing I called the doctor and the second I knew the little pain was just a little pain. My first son was 14 months when I got pregnant. I am of the opinion also that it is nice to have them close together before you get too comfortable -which I was, the routine with my first son was getting very easy and I do not think in a few more years I would have given up that easy routine :) Also, it is great that while you are in baby mode to have another. Get all the diapers and stuff over at one time. I can not imagine starting sleepless nights over when I had one that was five!! I hope that you find a decision you are comfortable with.

I would say start trying now...even if you did become pregnant they would still be around 18 mo. or a little more together...I have two that are 17 mo. apart and they play AWESOME together they are the best of friends...you always have that chance of having problems and not being able to get pregnant for a while or years better to plan this way...

My doctor recommended waiting until the first baby is 18 months before trying for #2. He said your body needs that long to "recover" from the 1st pregnancy/delivery.

Hi A.
You can wait. I didn't have my first child until I was 37 and my husband was 42. We have a beautiful full term little boy who is now 2 and we are trying for another. Hopefully we won't have twins-ha ha Good luck. L.

It really is a personal decision. I liked my kids 2 years apart, my sister's kids are 5 years apart and she thinks that's best. However, I'd suggest you talk with your OB and ask their opinion on how soon you should try. Your body goes through a wonderful and dramatic change with pregnancies and I believe they say your body doesn't really return to normal (organs rearranging and muscles healed) till about a year after the birth. You CAN have them anytime, it is possible. I'd suggest you ask your doctor how soon is a smart time to plan to try, from a health stand point. The healthier you are, the easier the pregnancy will be on you and the happier everyone will be. Plus, the easier it will be for you to recover from the second pregnancy... and that is important with 2 little ones around. I believe I was told I could safely start trying again 1 year from delivery. And keep in mind, God will decide the timing after you start trying. It may be your first cycle, it may be 5 years. Don't stress. God has a plan.

Good luck.
Liz

You should do what your heart tells you to do. If everything was fine with your first pregnancy and fine with getting pregnant to begin with then you should have no concerns about what the studies say. There are many, many women that have their babies close together and everything is absolutely fine. And by the way you are not older parents. My sister-in-law was 35 before her first. Then she had two more shortly there after. Her kids are all 16-18 months apart. Follow your doctors advice for your specific medical history and follow your own heart.

M.

My two were 2.5 years apart (my oldest was 21 months when I got pregnant) and I think that is perfect spacing. They're now 5 and 7 and are best friends! They share a room, toys, etc. It's a delicate balance, because if you have another too soon, you'll esentially have two babies at once, with twice the diapers, bottles, etc. If you wait too long, the older one won't be able to relate as well to the younger one due to the age difference and maturity level.

Bottom line, do what you feel in your heart is right!

A.,
Hi, I am a 36 year old mom of seven children ages from 10 down to 7 months. They are all between 17 months and 2 years apart. I have had no complications with my pregnancies and have not had any babies born before 38 weeks. I thinks this is a personal decision between you and your husband and what you feel is the best for your family. I always pray and ask the Lord to guide and direct and take care of me and my baby during the pregnancies. God is good and will take care of you to if you let him. Children are a blessing from the Lord enjoy each to the fullest they only stay little for a short time and when they are old they will either be a blessing to you or a curse depending on how you have raised them!!!

After having my daughter, the doctor told me wait nine months to a year to get pregnant again. He said the reason was simply because your body needs time to rest between pregnancies. My sister in law had a c-section, and she was told that she needs to have 2 years between deliveries to be sure the incision has plenty of time to heal and doesn't rupture. My personal opinion is to start trying now. Who knows how long it will take to get pregnant again, and I've never hear someone say they regret having their kids close together. Like I said, just my opinion.

There is no need to wait. My mother was pregnant with my brother when I was 4 months old.

I think I waited too long with my second baby, since I didn't get pregnant until my firstborn was one...so don't wait! I was 32 also.

The closer the kids are in age, the better. They will have a friend right there at home!

i waited a year, but it is rough running after a toddler who is getting into everything. my husband and i are about the same ages that is why we had them close together. we would like to have a third but not sure on the time frame bec of our ages. i think waiting until they are at least 2 would be better than just a year, but i dont know if i want to wait that longs since i am now 35 already. either way is tough for the first few months, but now we are doing great,esp since the baby is sleeping through the night. good luck to you.

I recommend waiting. You and the baby will be healthier and your family will experience less stress. You're still young! :)

I am pregnant with my second and we started trying when my first was seven months. It took me two months to get pregnant, so they will be 19 months apart. I also have 4 other friends who are currently expecting their second and have children my son's age. All have healthy pregnancies so far. From what I understand, you are only at a higher risk if your babies will be born less than a year apart. Talk to your OB if you are concerned.

Hi A.,

I'm A. also. I had my first when I was 34 and my second when I was 36. The kids were both very healthy. I wanted to space them at least two years apart and this has worked really well. It gave my body some time to get back to it's orginial state. Also, it is easier on you having the kids spaced a bit further apart. I would at least wait a year, especially if you're breast-feeding.

A.

I really think you should do what you and your husband want to do. I don't think it'll cause a problem for your baby if you get pregnant right away, and I don't think waiting a couple of years will cause you more trouble getting pregnant. I have two older sisters and one younger brother. My oldest sister is almost 5 years older than number 2, and number 2 is 15 months older than me. My brother is 5 years younger than me. My mom was 36 when she had my brother, and 31 when she had me. She didn't have any problems from having two babies close together, or from having a baby at 36 years old. Everyone is different, but if you don't have any other factors that could cause you to have trouble getting pregnant then don't let your age scare you. If you love being a mom, and want to have two close in age then don't let your first child's age scare you.

First, 32 and 39 is not "older". Older for men starts at 50, for women it is closer to 35. You have time.

Are you nursing? If you are nursing, I would wait until at least a year to start trying, as nursing while pregnant is uncomfortable and some people have their milk dry up. At that point, baby can transition to cow's milk. If you are formula feeding, this doesn't matter.

There are studies that say less than 2 years between pregnancies can increase complications, but as I started trying after a year and got pregnant when my daughter was 14 months, I didn't worry much about that.