Our new nanny started 3 weeks ago and we are not pleased. She seems to be very negative, and only tells us the bad things. I get a bad report every day when I have NEVER gotten that before from either of our previous sitters. My son that is home with her for the mornings does not really seem to like her, and he loves everyone. My older two just say she is too strict. Which she is, she went to the mat with my 4 year old over his lunch, because she wouldn't let him eat his chips until he ate his sandwich. I think her heart is in the right place, but she just needs a chill. So my question is, how long do we give her before we find someone else? Our old sitter asked for our 4 year old to spend the day with her yesterday because she misses him so much, and he had a BALL. I only heard good things. She asked how things were going and I told her we weren't too happy, but giving it some time. She offered for him to come back. I want to JUMP on that. But I don't want to screw the new nanny either...I just don't know how long to give her.
She also tells me son inappropriate things. Her car is kind of dented in some spots and he asked her why, so she told him her ex-boyfriend did it and then killed himself. A 4 year old does not need to know that. My son also told our old sitter that the new sitter tells him he is bad. We NEVER tell our kids they are bad, we tell them their behavior is bad, but they are still good people. And the new girl also told us about all of these good things she would do, learning wise, and it seems that everytime I come home at an unexpected time the TV is on. My son doesn't even want to go play outside with her :(.
I wish I could post our contract with her on here. Everything is spelled out on how to discipline, meal times, quiet times, etc. Even my sisters, who have both nannied, said it was the most thorough contract they had seen. And we have both spoken with her about chilling out, not sharing so much information, and not being so strict. I blatantly asked her the other day if she had anything positive to say about my children and she looked shocked that I asked. So I think you all are right. I can let her know next week that we are done and give her one full week or pay to cover the next week, but be done with our kids. She does not live with us.
The lunch thing was ridiculous. My 4 year old had eaten all of his broccoli and a few bites or his sandwich when he wanted some chips. We told her before we don't care what order our kids eat what we put on their plates, if it's on there, it's okay to eat. We don't do dessert type things until after lunch though :).
Oh dear, start looking for a replacement right away!
Who tells a kid 'you're bad'? What is this 1950?
Sorry it's not working out. Hope there's not contractual loopholes, sigh.
:(
I have given baby sitters three tries. If my children don't feel fondly for her by then she's not for us.
no noooo not right. you need to ditch this bad nanny. I have worked in preschool for over 13 years. children get vibes and they are true to form. your son is right she is bad news and at that not a good nanny IMO. If you even get the bad vibe from her then that is saying a lot.
I;m not sure how much time to give her. did you go thru an agency? maybe it would be 2 weeks. but with your son being affected badly and the fact that you can get him into the old sitters place then I would only give her as long as it takes for your son to get back to the old sitters. good luck to you.
Move on.
I give it a day. You can tell right away. And if a person is not a good fit for your family (which doesn't mean she's bad, she's just not right for you), you can't force that.
After 3 weeks, it's not a good fit.
It's time to move one. She sounds like she needs a new profession and is not doing what she is supposed to do in life. Jump on getting your old nanny back!
While I agree that the nanny has to go, I think you should do it ASAP. If she lives with you then it is more difficult than if she has her own place. I don't think you need to give her two weeks notice, that would be what she should give YOU. I do think that you would have fewer hard feelings if you told her that it is not working out and gave her a week or two weeks worth of pay - but then she is out the door. If she lives with you, tell her on Friday, don't let her stay alone with your children and give her a day or two to pack up. You might pay for one week at an extended stay hotel so that you have her out!
I agree that you need to make sure that you clearly communicate how you want things handled with your next nanny.
C.
Time for her to go. I was a nanny for many years and if I did not feel the connection in the interview I did not take the job. Kids know trust your children.
Wow! I believe its time to find someone new. Sounds like the nanny needs to focus on her own problems right now. i give her the 2 weeks notice required, and then move on. No ands,ifs,or buts about it.
I have been a nanny for 11 years, and never in my life would share the things u said she shared with your son. I also sandwich bad things between 2 positives. Sounds like she is just miserable with life right now.
I don't understand why she is still watching your kids. Get rid of her. Don't feel bad. Your children are your priority! Don't let her stay after you tell her either.
I agree with Beth T. find a new nanny ASAP and give the proper two weeks notice! It sounds like she is doing alot more damage than good. I would not wait any longer! I would definately let him go back to the old sitter since he loves her so much. I would do whatever I had to to hold his spot with her!
I would not leave my kids with her another minute! Forget about giving her a week notice. These are YOUR kids and you have to protect them! She may not be physically harming them, but she is emotionally by calling them "bad". That can really stick with you (I know because my dad was verbally abusive to me). Do not leave them with her anymore!
If you and the Nanny are not on the same page with the type of disapline etc then you need to tell her its just not working out. I do believe you should not leave her alone with your son after you tell her this. Who knows what she would do. I'd tell her on Friday that your sorry but its not working out and we have to let you go. Give her some her next weeks pay. I think though you are partly to blame. You need to tell your Nanny's up front how strict and what your rules are. Meaning if you do not care they eat chips or dessert with his meal then let her know. Some parents would get actually mad at a nanny for allowing their kids to have dessert with meal.
Dear Mom2CKK
1. Go with your gut.
2. It sounds like you would like to part, but are hesitant.
3. If you want to part, just do it. Pay her what you owe her and say goodbye nicely for your sake, so there is no bad energy...
Jilly
I would let her know at the begining of the week or end of the week that things just aren't working out and you will have to let her go. She can finish out the week and then part your seperate ways. Be prepared that she just might not finish the week though. I just want to say that being strict is not a bad thing but if she is not what you want then just let her know.
Get a new nanny. We've had several. If I had the issues you're having, even after you've communicated them to the nanny clearly, it's time to find a new one. (And I know what a pain it is to find a new nanny.)
UPDATE: I read your post more thoroughly and it looks like your old nanny is still available? Go for it!!!
why are you even asking?? go back to the other sitter! you need to take care of your kids' needs before your new sitter's feelings. i would have given it 1-2 weeks to make a judgment call. your nanny has to go!
I only agree with the chips before sandwich, but even that is iffy, especially since he ate his broccoli. The other things are inappropriate.
I have inhome childcare and I can bond with a child the first day. The child can't wait to get to my house the next day and the next.... Listen to your child, they don't lie. Go back to the nanny that cares about them. Tell her the only reason they had to find someone else is because their nanny had given notice - but things didn't work out for her and she would like her job back. Pay the nanny one or two weeks pay and let her go. DO NOT give her a notice and then have her take care of your children, you will probably regret it. She doesn't sound like a professional, I would be leery.
If it is possible to have your ex-nanny start Monday, I would suggest letting her go today. I wouldn't worry about screwing the new nanny, I would be concerned screwing your children with the care they are receiving. Family first.
Mrs. P. - over 20 years proffesional childcare provider
