Do You Pay and What When You Cancel Your Sitter?

If it's last minute like the day before, you pay. If it is in advance, no. Be prepared to find another sitter. Sounds a bit wild...

I understand her frustration - those are her two money-making days. I would see if you can compromise - take one of the expensive babysitting days off and then take another, not-so-expensive day off. She's not working much as it is (6 days per month) so I would imagine that the money is pretty important to her. If you cut it off, she may have to find other work and you'll be stuck looking for alternate care.

I only charge if I don't get any notice. If you give notice then you shouldn't need to pay. She can arrange other work or make other plans for those times. Unless you have a contract that states otherwise. Then you need to renegotiate your contract.

I think it's really immature and unprofessional of your sitter to act this way toward you. There is no reason for you to continue to pay her if you don't need her to watch your kids - then she is getting paid for nothing, and with your pay being cut back, the expense of a sitter is not being justified by having more income. You are giving her what I assume is plenty of notice. If this is happening within the next 2 weeks, I would consider paying her what she's gotten for the next 2 weeks, then after that paying her just for when she actually watches your kids (if she continues to do so). Rather than texting, I would call her and basically let her know that while you realize this might be stressful for her, you are dealing with the same thing - your hours are being cut by your company and therefore it really doesn't make sense for you to keep paying her for services you are not going to need as much. People deal with these type of unexpected setbacks all the time - she's not the only one. You don't have any control over what your company decided to do and you have to do what makes most economic sense for you.

You didn't mention her age or how much she was depending on the babysitting money for income, but if she can't accept the circumstances with some degree of grace and understanding, maybe she isn't as great of a sitter as you think she is.

Your schedule has changed which means her schedule will change. That is life. I would let her know when you will need her and go from there. I would agree explain that you are being forced to take time off and thus you will not need her services for those particular days. If she is not agreeable, then you will need to find other arrangements. I do not believe you are obligated to pay her for days she isn't watching your kids. I don't pay someone to not work. That seems crazy to me.

I am curious, how much notice did you give her?

So long as you gave her at least two weeks notice I wouldn't sweat it. You may want to look into finding another sitter if she doesn't calm down though. If she starts taking this out on your kids you won't have a lot of notice to get a new sitter.

If this is a longstanding arrangement she has it in her budget just like you do. She is counting on her pay. It is hard for a sitter to just "replace" your children with others for 2 weeks. were you planning to have her back after the 2 weeks? if so do you really want them replaced? I think if you said to her hey we are taking our vacation "x" time then thats great but to say hey I am taking these 2 days off so I don't have to pay you then thats tacky lol. if you sent her a note saying hey I am taking off tomorrow and then again next week your long day look at it from her stand point. by they way mary you know the two long days I pay you for for... you know the long ones that make your rent money for the month I am cutting those out this month sorry.... well she will be pissed and so would you if your boss said hey plan on keeping your job but we want to cut out the days you make the money on and leave you with the crud hours. there needs to be a compromise somewhere. and like a previous poster said maybe you could cut 2 days but make them not her to best days.

"Late night angry texts" indicates little maturity. That alone would compel me to find another babysitter/nanny.

You gave her notice that you'd be changing your schedule. She is free to stop sitting for you and find a more suitable long-term position. She is not free to harass you.

Sorry about your work situation.... that sucks.

How much notice did you give her? If all of a sudden on Monday you said - btw I don't need you Wed and Fri this week and I'm not paying you..... then I wouldn't do that. Can you compromise and pay her 1/2 time for this month and then a new schedule going forward?

If you have decided that childcare is where you need to reduce your budget..... I would have said "beginning next month and going I have to change your schedule and it will be......". To me this is all about presentation. Let her know you know it sucks - it sucks for you too.... but you wanted to give her enough notice so that if she has to pick up another job to supplement her income, she now has time.

The problem is that now you have a babysitter who is angry enough that you received a "series of late night angry texts" which doesn't speak much for her maturity level. Plus angry + immature typically = retaliate. So, she will either become worthless, treat your child not as well, or steal from you.

I might find a new sitter, given the circumstances.... but you know her and have developed a relationship with her. I would sit down and talk to her. If you can't clear the bad blood, I would give her 2 weeks notice.

That being said..... good child care is hard to find and would be the LAST place I would cut. I tend to over pay my sitters and do everything I can to keep them happy.

Does she allow for vacation time? I've never had a daycare that didn't allow for 2 weeks of unpaid during the year of vacation time. We have done 2 in home daycares, and the second one allowed for her to have 2 weeks paid vacation and we had 2 weeks unpaid vacation that we could use anytime if we gave her advance notice. Since I didn't work on Fridays at the time sometimes we would take a 3 day weekend, let her know in advance, and not pay for that Friday. Those 10 days wouldn't cover your entire year of unpaid days off at work, but surely that should cover some of it.

But yeah, otherwise, we paid for a whole week, no matter whether I was working or not.

Unfortunately with a person who does regularly sitand suddenly is faces with not having that income has the economical reaction you have, however she has no pto bank. Most sitters i know charge in ordwr to hold your spot, some will give a discount when the child is not thwre but they will still charge. Some will look foe another child and dismiss yours from their roster to keep money coming in.
Talk to her to find out what she needs you to do, find another sitter or if she and you can go half of your loss of income? She doesn't sound great if she sends angry texts and will she take that attitude to your child?

Ooh. She wrote you angry texts? I'm sorry, but that's not acceptable to do to one's employer.

I think that you need to look for another babysitter. You cannot be paying her when you aren't getting paid just because she is angry. You are changing the terms of employment, and as her boss, you have the right to do that.

I can just imagine what your boss would do if you wrote him or her a series of angry texts over YOU having to take days off.

She needs to learn a life lesson here, and you need to find someone who knows not to treat you this way.

Dawn

can you negotiate a little? take a couple of days off, but maybe not the days where she makes most of her money from you?
i'm sure there's a compromise in here.
great babysitters are worth fighting for.
khairete
S.

I might be out of my league here as I don't have to pay sitters, um like ever... but to me it seems she's being extreme. How old is she? Is this her income or just on the side?

I see nothing wrong with the decision you've made, in fact it makes sense and is probably the best option since it's costing you the most. Additionally, you are telling her in advance and it sounds like this is a permanent situation, at least semi-permanent.

I would simply explain to her, on the telephone or face to face, that although you understand she's disappointed, upset, dependent upon that money, etc., you are losing money in this deal as well and simply can't afford, nor will you need her services on days you aren't working.

If she is dependent on this money perhaps it was just a knee jerk reaction to her losing money that she also desperately needs, but the reality of the situation is, it is what it is and she can't bully you into paying her...unless you have some sort of legal binding contract I suppose...do you have one of those?

I would talk to her, texting isn't a good way to communicate. Hopefully she was just stressed and will understand. But, you may need to consider finding a new sitter, especially if the conversation doesn't go well. Sorry, that kinda sucks!

I have a lady i use that i pay her a minimum each week....whether we are there or not.

I'm sorry your company is in a tough situation.

Now, when **I** cancel a sitter with 24 hours or less - then I pay them what I would have paid them should they have earned had I not canceled.

However, since you are giving her notice? She has time to replace your time slot with a new customer. Does this mean she might not be available to you? Yes. But that's the way it goes.

I would have her over to talk with her like an adult and tell her what is going on with your office, that it is NOT her or the way she cares for your children, but you can't afford to pay for her when you are not getting paid.

Good luck!

If it is a situation where you pay by the week to hold the spot, you will need to pay her. If it is a day to day situation, then no.

You also don't mention if this is 2 days in the same week or 2 different weeks, like you are cancelling M,W of week 1, but not of week 2, or you will only need her every other M and W now, and not Fridays.

Put yourself in her shoes. She is holding a slot for your child 6 days out of the month. Now she will be down to 4 days a month. She may decide that for her, economically, it would be better to let your family go and fill your slot with a family that is more in need of her services.

However, you say that you do have the option to take paid leave. This would be my suggestion. Take the two days of paid leave for this month. See how being home these extra two days works out. If you are like me, you may find that you end up using those extra days for dr. appts and errands, and any errand without a kid fussing about going along is a happy errand.

Babysitting is an important, tough job, but this is a risk one takes as a babysitter. Your job situation has changed, and there's nothing you can do about it. How can she expect to be paid for work, when you're not even working on these days any longer!?!?! What would she do if you were laid off your job altogether!?!?!? I would start looking for someone else. The angry texts are immature and uncalled for. Sorry you're having to deal with this.

3 days every other week for the past two years. Sounds like routine scheduled childcare. Typically, you would pay for such a thing.

Do you have a contract? If not, you're not legally obligated but you might lose your childcare. If you had your kids in a daycare or home care, you would still have to pay.

Sending angry texts is unprofessional. She should not have done that, but her anger is not surprising. She just should have kept it contained. She would not have been out of line to send a calm text to say she expects to be paid regardless of your taking a couple of days off.

If you keep her as your sitter, my advice for both of you is to draw up a contract if you don't already have one. That protects both of you from situations like this. You may have to come to a compromise in regards to taking time off when she was scheduled to work. Half-pay, for example.

You are in no way obligated to pay her, and you absolutely are entitled to change the schedule and have her babysit on days that make sense for your family and financial situation!

In your situation, I might be tempted to try to find a new sitter given the fact that she sent angry texts. Granted she counts on the money and the job, but she needs to understand that she's not the only one who's going to be losing out. I mean, you're going to making less money for pete's sake. As a parent and former babysitter, she needs to think about how this is going to impact your family financially and be grateful she's going to have the job still!!!

How do you think your employer would see you if you sent them a series of angry texts and e-mails after they told you about your new requirement to take unpaid leave?

You have gotten great advice already. You want to handle this situation as diplomatically as possible, since good childcare is hard to find -- especially with your odd schedule. Let your babysitter know that this is nothing personal against her. But this is your new financial reality. Unfortunately, your company's hardships have affected you and trickled down to your babysitter. That's the way it goes sometimes.

Can you compromise and still keep one of the expensive babysitting days a month? This could be a real mom's day out for you, so it could be win-win if you can afford it. Otherwise, I would maybe start looking around to find another babysitter. I imagine there should be plenty of other child care providers who would love to watch your kids for even less than what you are paying your current sitter. Good luck!

I need further clarification. Is this a home childcare you take your children to? Is it a nanny you have come to your home? DO you have any sort of a contract with her? All of that makes a big difference, I think.

I do home daycare and families pay for the spot, based on enrollment, not attendance. If their situation changes, then we need to re-negotiate the contract or they need to find alternate care (I do not generally do PT care such as you describe, and if I did, any further alteration to that would be a big hairy deal). Most of the time parents DO pay me for a FT spot, even if they only use it PT. All areas are different of course.

If this is a Nanny of some sort, does she have any other clients that she works around your "odd" schedule? If she is young or not, this could just be reactionary to the loss in income, plans she has to pay her bills with the money, potentially other clients she turned down already to accommodate your schedule? I would give her the benefit of the doubt and have a face to face conversation with her ASAP. She will have had time to absorb this news, and hopefully be able to discuss it rationally.

It may just not be enough for her as it is, and now with a further reduction, she may also be feeling that instant financial stress, just as you did, when someone tells you that it is beyond your control to have a sudden reduction in your monthly pay and alteration of your schedule. No one likes to have control taken away from them!

Good luck!

While i can see why your sitter is frustrated, it's not professional to send late night angry texts, or use that as a form for communication, regardless of her age. As happens with people & their jobs, schedules chang so that means your sitter's schedule has to change as well. If you've given her 2 weeks notice, then she has no reason to get upset & her reaction is immature. I would agree to met her someplace neutral w/o the kids around, to discuss this, explain your situation & see what can be worked out. But it sounds like you need to start interviewing other sitters. Good luck!

Yes, I pay but only when it is a one time missed day like vacation or child is sick. I don't pay when my schedule changes. I would pick which days work best for your family. Her reaction seems unreasonable. It is not like you just decided to blow her off. Your work schedule changed so now your child care needs are different. I would call her and be sympathetic about her circumstance but stress that based on your company cutting back you don't need her as many days. Ask her if she still wants to watch your child and encourage her to be honest with you. I would say something like, " we have been in this arrangement for a long time. Junior loves you and I think you are great but I have to cut back his time with you. I am bringing home less money each month so I need to cut days. If you don't think it is fair please let me know and I will have to
move on. I hope not but if you don't feel it is fair than I want you to do what you feel is best."