Hi M.!
Well, as one mom says below, you know your child best and should follow your instincts. I get tired of attitudes toward babies that suggest they are homogenous and all have the same needs or *should* behave a certain way. Adults don't, so why should babies? Some of us doodle, bite our nails, chew on pins, etc. when nervous or fidgety--what if someone tied our hands b/c it was best for us? I have certain destressing strategies I employ when I need a break--everyone else does too, and so does your baby. If your child needs extra security on her limbs for now or has a high sucking need, try to help her satisfy it and she'll be better off for it. I don't recommend trying to fight her natural instincts. And as another mom suggests below, keep the long-term perspective--I know a speech therapist who let her son have a pacifier until he was 3-4 yrs old, and guess what? He's a perfectly normal 8-yr-old now! Some kids will have crooked teeth no matter what. Some kids w/pacifiers talk early, some not at all, and the same w/non-pacifier kids. Bottom line is, try to be sensitive to your child and understand her needs and don't let the opinions of others keep you from doing what you think is right. Parenting is a high stakes game, and everyone has an opinion--some based on knowledge, some based on experience, most based on cultural attitudes.
As for the swaddling--it does seem to be recent medical opinion that tight swaddling can affect a baby's hip development during its most formative time (i.e. early on)--that's why it isn't recommended any more. (See the Sears' "The Baby Book" for a discussion and for an excellent resource in general; though it does have a clear parenting approach, you can still find the book useful if you don't agree w/it.) If your child needs extra security at this point, try to find ways to give it to her that don't involve binding her legs. Maybe you could wrap her arms tightly but leave her legs looser--like just wrap them. Or as another parent suggested, maybe you can find a weighted blanket/sac or something of that sort to safely give her the pressure she needs but not the hip binding. Finally, you could also try really tight pajamas.
As for the pacifier--some children just have high sucking needs, and some kids don't take pacifiers. I knew a lactation consultant who was going through 7 nipples trying to help a dad find one the baby would take on a bottle b/c the mom was going back to work! If your daughter takes a bottle nipple, then she will probably take a pacifier if you keep working and find the right one. If you feel she needs the sucking input, then I don't see a reason to refuse to meet that need. You'll get a LOT OF FLACK for it--everything will be blamed on the pacifier, but if you feel she needs it, then go w/your instinct and deal w/getting her off it at a time you can substitute something else like a chewing toy, etc., or when you can reason w/her about it. You might try giving her the pacifier at times when she's falling asleep--like do a quick switch from a bottle/your finger to the pacifier--so she begins to associate it w/comfort. (Gently push her chin up to close on the pacifier if she doesn't firmly take it, but don't fight her if she gets aggressive.) Or try to get her to take it while you cuddle her to your breast, again as a way of making it a positive association.
My son weaned himself from pacifiers at 15 mos. and nursed until 2 years, but he still has a strong chewing/sucking need (at 5 1/2 years), so we keep gum on hand. My daughter (20 mos. and nursing) still needs her pacifier for stressful situations or when she feels bad, but otherwise she's fine. It's different w/each kid.
If she's trying to suck her fists, do you think you could help her find her thumb as a way of comforting herself and eliminating the pacifier need? If she has a pacifier while sleeping, do you think she won't get so anxious when not swaddled?
Some kids are sensitive and have higher needs or more sensitive personalities. Many grow out of these issues as they develop. Others continue to have them and they indicate other concerns. It pays to be attentive and know your child and respect their individual needs.
This is just the first of many such decisions you will face, so have confidence in your mothering, follow your instincts, and find a good baby reference!
Best, J.