We've been talking about the pacifier fairy for a couple of months to our little girl (who is 2 3/4 old). We held out on getting rid of the pacifiers until after our first big trip so we could get through the plane ride. Well, the pacifier fairy sent our daughter a letter yesterday and she was GREAT about putting her pacifiers in the envelope and "mail" them so the fairy could give them to the new babies of the world. Then bedtime came along and she just looked at us and said, "Ok, I NEED my pacifiers now." As you can imagine, when it sunk in that she wasn't getting them back and that they were gone, her pleading turned into cries and sobs. I can honestly say I've never dealt with anything so gut wrenching as a mom. Her dad and I were in tears by the time we said our good nights and had to listen to the sobbing for almost an hour. Even then she yelled, talked, etc. until it was after 11pm (and I think she finally fell asleep).
This morning she was wonderful and she was excited to see the new princess doll that the pacifier fairy brought in return. But of course tonight, it was more of the same, "I NEED my pacifiers!" "I CAN'T do it!" " I don't want a doll! I want MY PACIFIERS!" and then more sobbing. Both my husband and I were thumb-suckers and we remember how hard it was to stop (at MUCH older ages). We know it's the right thing to do and we're not going back, but my question is, how long can we expect it to take her to adjust to not having pacifiers?
She had extremely bad colic as a baby, and she needed a pacifier early on, and most of the time. She has been more attached to her pacifiers than any of her friends, and we had to wean her down to bed/nap times only after her first dentist appointment in November (it was pushing on her teeth). I wanted to hear your stories of getting rid your 2 or 3 year olds pacifiers. Did it take just a few days for them to adjust? Weeks? Do they still long for their pacifiers when they see babies or other kids with them? I've read so many different opinions on WHEN to wean them, but now that we've made that decision, I just want to hear how your experience went and if you have any advice to make her feel better.
We've been making it as positive as possible for her. She got to show her new doll off to everyone and take it everywhere today so she could tell people about the pacifier fairy. We've acknowledge her feelings of being sad and comfort her while reminding her how proud we are of her. I told her to use her doll to make her feel good like her pacifiers did (for falling asleep). Tonight was somewhat better (a little less sobbing time), which I expected. I just can’t wait until she’s feeling good about the new situation.
Well, it's been a week since getting rid of the pacifiers. I wanted to thank everyone for their responses! It was interesting to see how some kids barely miss their pacifiers while others have a really hard time adjusting. I would say our daughter has done better than I expected, but bedtime has not been a picnic since. The first two nights were horrible (LOTS of sobs over her pacifiers) but the more people she's told about the pacifier fairy, the better I think she's felt about the whole thing. The tester was this weekend when I actually had to BUY a pack of Soothies (her type of pacifiers) for our friends' baby shower while she was with me. When she saw them on the gift, she wanted to snag one for her doll she got from the fairy and had a melt down when I wouldn't let her have them. But, then she was over it. Unfortunately, now she tends to stall more than ever at bed/naptime and she's been crying for at least 15-20 minutes each night once we close the door. She wants lots of extra hugs and kisses, and overall, is just not too happy when we're not there to comfort her. It is getting a bit better each night, but we're not there yet. I do think she is sleeping better at night, however. We don't ever hear the occasional whine/cry like she did when she couldn't find her pacifier while half-asleep. So that's a plus! :-)
The pacifier fairy idea worked great and I would recommend it to anyone! I designed up a letter, two envelopes, and stickers for the gift bag (that the doll came in). I'm thinking of making up kits to sell (probably for $10-$20 - depending on what all I settle on including) that would include instructions. I made her fairy look like her, and I thought I would make different looking fairies so parents could pick the perfect fairy for their child. If anyone is interested in them, send me a message, and I'll let you know when they are ready. Thanks again, everyone!! You really did make me feel better. :-)
I promise it will get easier everyday.I went through this with my 3 year old, after the second night he maybe would ask 1 time then forget about it.
Also about 1 month prior to that I also poked a hole in it so it wasnt the same and he used it less and less, But he was a binky baby, he used it all the time.
((HUgS)) yOU ARE DOIN THE RIGHT THING!!
I totally feel your pain- I too was in tears when I heard the SAD cries of my son at around that same age when we ended his love affair with the pacifier. We did ours a little different -we cut the tip off, unbeknownst to him, so he still kept his "broken pacifier" with him in bed and slept with it in his hand for a few months. Eventually it fell under the bed and he stopped asking for it, so I slipped it away to the memory box. But, I will say, those first two nights were the worst as far as his emotional reaction. After that he asked for it occasionally, but adjusted pretty quickly to not having it. AND we had a younger child who was using pacifiers throughout the day (the exact same ones!) at the time. We encouraged the "big boy" mentality, and reinforced that pacifiers were for babies and he responded well to that and accepted it. Incidentally, we used a similar approach (cold turkey, you're a big boy now...) when potty training and it also worked great, and really fast!
Every once in a while he'll put his younger sister's pacifier in his mouth, but we laugh and he laughs and knows that it's silly.
Good luck - just stick to your guns, stay positive and supportive and you'll get through it soon! I think it's also a good thing to hug and cuddle her when she's sad about it and missing it and tell her you understand that sometimes it's hard to make big changes like this. Growing up is painful at times and this won't be the first time you'll cry together over some growing pain as life changes and babyhood and then childhood slips behind her. :-( Makes me sad just thinking about that...
Stick with it, it will get better. Mine seemed to sleep better and be a happier kid without his, I was very surprised. But it does take a while for them to understand come to grasps with what is happening. I do like how you took them away though, very creative! :)
My daughter was about the same age and loved her "plug" (that is what we started calling it at about 18 months. Anyway, the nipple had lost all its vaccuum, but she still wouldn't get rid of it, she just kept sucking the dead nipple. One night, while I was reading to my two older children, she had been put to bed and came downstairs hysterical...."my plug broke!!!" The nipple came completely off the plastic. I said "well it looks like the plug is gone now". She cried, her then 4 year old sister said "it's okay, you can suck you thumb like me". And guess what? She is now 4 and STILL sucks her THUMB!!! Who ever heard of an almost three year old taking up thumb sucking...I told you all this to say, I wish it were easy, but it is not. It will probably take a couple days, but at least you won't have to break her of her thumb later on....:)
My daughter is completely infatuated with other kids' pacifiers. She doesn't try to suck them just loves to touch, look, put in the babies mouth, etc.
Does she eventually go to sleep? Once she realizes all the crying in the world isn't going to bring the pacifier back she will probably taper it down a little. It sounds like you are doing everything right and it will just take endurance and a lot of PATIENCE. I wish you the best...
My son turns 3 next month. Last Monday we visited my cousin who just had a new baby. When we got there, the baby had her pacifier in her mouth and it was the same type my son uses. (the green Soothie - he never liked the harder blue kind) I could tell he was debating on taking the binky from the baby so I told him that the binky was his baby cousin's. He watched her for a long time and played with his older cousins. That night when we went to bed, he asked for his binky (he always used it for naps and bedtime). I gave it to him but reminded him about his baby cousin and how babies use them not big boys. He thought about it for a minute, popped it out of his mouth, and handed it back to me! He has only used it once (the night of July 4th - he had a nightmare and I couldn't get him calmed down w/out it - I think that was due to the fireworks we watched.) I've left the binky on the table next to bed and it's been over a week now. It's probably getting dusty from dis-use! Good Luck!
My son weened himself off of the "binkie". But, the transition wasn't easy. Before we reached that point, he was insistent on having his fav. He used it everywhere and at all times. Made it hard to understand him when he started to talk. So, he didn't even fully start talking until he was about 20 mo. Once he got to the point where he wasn't reliant on the binkie, I went through the house during one of his naps and tore through the house scavenging for binkies. I wanted to make sure I could just get rid of every one of them before he knew it. Was hard the first few weeks. He started to feign for his binkie during the times he was used to having it. Eventually, after about a week or so, he got over his addiction of binkies. :D He's a binkie survivor. HAHAHA. :D Hope this helps. Patience sometimes plays a big part. Good luck!
Bless your heart! I remember how difficult and gut-wrenching it was to go through all of that. You have probably already gone through the worst of it , though. She may continue to bring this up for quite a while, but it will become increasingly less intense and "urgent." One suggestion would be to do whatever you can to increase her confidence that she can do this. Just those little words of encouragement like, "Wow! You have gone 2 nights now without a pacifier! You sure are growing up!" Maybe she could do a "big girl" job or two like wiping off the dining table or using a spray bottle to water plants outside or clean off her trike or wagon, etc. Maybe she could use a smaller-sized broom or mop to clean the floor. I am thinking about those jobs that they always want to do that take more effort for us if we let them. At this point, it might be worth the extra work for you to encourage positive feelings towards growing older, even though it means giving up her beloved pacifiers. You are doing a great job, Mama! We're all rooting for you! Happy Anniversary! Many Blessings to you and yours. :)
My son was three when we did somehting very similar to what you did with your daughter. He was very excited that he was able to "give his bing bing's to a new baby who needed them.."
We did wean a little bit in preparation however, getting him down to just nap and bed-time with his bing.. Then the roll out of the plan.
I will tell you the first 3-4 nights were the hardest on my heart. I wanted to give in! "Mama, I NEEEEED my bing! " Wailing! It's important that you are supportive without giving in or dwelling on it. If you give up now it will be much harder to do it later. Eventually she wont even remember! I found my sons in a baggy tucked in teh back of a drawer about a year later, and showed them to him and he was surprised he used them.
Stick with it, the worst is probably over!!
My son is 5.5 now.. His sister? 2.5 and a thumb sucker, not all the time, but stress and sleepy time.. Try taking a thumb away??? LOL!
Your doing great! It is a hard situation you just have to stick with it. Don't give in or give it back she will get over it and this way she won't have to do speech therapy. Really I know its hard but just stick with it.
D.,
Oh my goodness do I know what you are going through, My oldest daughter ( 7.5 now) didnt have a binky until she was 10 months old ( daycare lady gave it to her) we tried so many times to get rid of it, I am so embarassed to say she was 3 and a half years old when I finally cracked down, it was excuse me for saying this but hell, she screamed for what seemed like 12 hours a day, she would actually get violent and hit me or others around her, I was scared it would never end, however little by little she got better it took almost 2 months before she stopped asking for it but we made it. Stay strong it will happen as painfull as it is now to see and hear her upset you are doing the right thing. Oh and what worked with my daughter is a soft blanket, she still sleeps with it today. Best of luck!
My daughter was encouraged to throw hers away at 2 years and 4 months and regretted it for at least a week. The most helpful thing was a story book I made for her about being a big girl. It basically said "I don't need my sucky anymore. When I was a baby I needed it a lot, but then I became a big girl..." I made a lot of pages about other things she could do when she was upset or sleepy "Now I have to hug my bunny when I feel sad or sleepy", etc. We read the book about 30 times a day during the transition, and she still picks it off the shelf once in a while, even though it's a year later, to read all about what a big girl she is.
I worried a ton about hurting her during the transition, but I see how much she has developed emotionally without having a pacifier to soothe her every moment.
HI, First off Congratulations on your 14 years together! And It sounds like you are doing a great job already with the paci's. Just keep it up and each night will get a little bit shorter and then pretty soon nothing at all. She will think, I am a big girl now, and I can do this. My son one day just threw it out of his crip I snuck in to check on him, and it was laying on the floor by the door, and I picked it up and never once did he ask for it again. I thought for sure though when he saw his cousins (one is 6 months older than him and 6 months younger than him, both brother and sister) That he would ask for it, but he didn't, just said thats babies, or said thats *name* and we would say yup, and move on. But You and your Husband are doing great. Keep up the good work.
She is a big girl now, and is doing a good thing!
Good luck!
It took a couple of days, just had to go cold turkey. Allowing them to suck on it for too long misses up their teeth.
Hey D.! It sounds to me like you are doing a great job! She is going to protest, as she was so attached. We did the same thing with our daughter. We gave her until her 3rd birthday, and then we attached them to a helium balloon, that was taking them to the new babies that needed pacifiers. It was a little goodbye ceremony, which went pretty well, but then the nighttime comes:-) It was hard for a week or two, but then she forgot about them completely. Hang in there!
I don't have any advice but your toddler is not the only one with a pacifier. My son is 3 and a half and just stopped using his in the last month. You get lots of mixed reactions from people but I figured he had known it since he was two weeks old and he was attached to it.
His last one got a little rip in it and he still used it but it must not have worked the same. He had his since he was two weeks and we hadn't tried to take it before since he wasn't in school yet. He finally weaned himself.
Good luck! Keeping your daughter busy with other activities she enjoys might be helpful, or trying a few new things.
I just want to say it sounds like you are doing everything right. I don't have any real advice, my son did use a binkie, but we never let him have it at bed time, he had a little stuffed toy for bed time. I did this so we would not have to endure the late nights when it came time to ween, just a little crying at nap time. I am sure if you just hang in there she won't need much longer to adjust, she just has to relize that you are not going to give in.
blessed be
D., I feel your pain, I am down to naps and bedtime and can't get my daughter to get rid of them for anything. What is this letter thing with the fairy bit? I am really wondering about that? Unfortunatly durring the week I am the only one that would get the joy of dealing with this by myself due to my husband working out of town and I think I could have him start the fairy bit on a friday night when he comes home tho have him rough out the first two nights with me. Please let me know a little more about this. I am getting to a point where I am worried about her teeth being crooked. Thank you, C. B.
My son gave up his pacifier at 6 Months, but his bottle was what he was really attached to. We took this away at 18 months and did it cold turkey. It took him about a week to be able to fall asleep with out crying for his bottle. Every kid is different, some will get over it right away, while others take a long time to get over the hump. If your daughter is already starting to calm down, then I would say your probably close to the end, and she will be ok.
I took my daughter's paci away when she was 1 1/2 because her doctor said that she shouldn't have it at two and it really only gets harder.
At that age I (singular because for some bizarre reason, I chose a time when my husband was out of town) endured about three nights of no sleep. It was hard, I was tired and irritable, but it was worth it.
The funny thing is...I secretly couldn't throw it away and it's now in my memory box!
