How Does Socail Networking Make You Feel?

Besides this website, I like my socializing to take place in the "real" world! I have my own life to keep up with, not worry about what eveyone else is doing when they are not with me. And that way, the next time that I see them (in person) they actually have some stories and stuff to tell me that I didn't already read about on FB!!

I also have mixed feelings on this. Loved it at first, and still do when I reconnect with someone from the past. And it's a good way to share/receive news with people you don't see often.

But sometimes it also makes me feel like a "boring loser" (like Mallory wrote). Sorry I don't live in Manhattan and run into famous people and go to fabulous gallery openings... And it brings me back to high school sometimes, with that awful feeling of not belonging to the right clique. Ugh!! Who needs it?

It makes me feel connected to many, when otherwise i just dont have the time to make that many phone calls. People say that it "distances" i find it to be the opposite. I do not converse with my other friends less, than see my friends less, i merely know more about the people i would otherwise forget about.

Honestly, I hate it.
It seems like one big, never ending bragging session/b!tch fest.

I like seeing pictures of kiddos growing up far away, but if I could do away w/ all of it, I would.

Some days it eats me up inside. Constantly wondering if I should call So-and-so out on that bit of incredible ignorance they just posted (only have once). It's TMI too much of the time. TMI that causes me to not really like my friends and relatives. Rarely do I post anything, I try and keep it to cute stuff my kids do, but even that I don't share much of the time.

I do like the sites I am connected to for informative purposes but sometimes even that stresses me out. Lol.

I guess I am too sensitive.

It often makes me feel irritated because of all the people in my network who feel the need to constantly tell everyone how much they worked out each day, how little they eat, all of the fabulous things they are doing and the great vacations that they are taking...oh and all the expensive stuff they buy. I swear it has been just a tool for bragging about themselves. I have recently turned off some of the worst offenders-it was getting to be too much and actually making me feel like a boring loser-even if it shouldn't!

Do people really think that we need to know every little detail of there life? When we used to "talk" in person, over the phone or email, we never shared that much information. I mean really do I care if you eat at "such and such" every week? Well actually, sometimes I want to post... wow, you must really love that place...

And the people who take pictures of themselves to post just because? I enjoy family photos, special occasions/events, kids pictures but really... it's kind of cheesy to see a picture of someone who is standing in front of their bathroom mirror trying to look sexy... or at work in front of the mirror - that's even worse.

I guess I've learned a lot more about my "friends" on FB than I would IRL (in real life) and not in a good way.

hahahahaha! I am so glad there are others that feel the same way I do! It's the strangest thing... I get irritated with Facebook on a daily basis, but I still have to check it! I feel like such a loser when a friend from highschool has 4 kids, homeschools them, works out 3 times a day, teaches Zumba and prepares healthy, gourmet meals every night! (Had to hide her because I just couldn't stand all the "I am so great" updates!) And all the check-ins drive me crazy! Everyone makes their lives sound so exciting, and here I am at home changing diapers and tantrums! I really don't post a status very often because, let's face it, I'm just not very interesting! Oh well, just wanted to say that I agree 100%! Why do I do this to myself??

In my humble opinion, Facebook encourages the sin of coveting, which - like most sins, can make us miserable given enough opportunity.

Am I still on it? Yes. Sigh.

And I agree with another mom - I don't need to know when one of my relatives goes to Walmart. :P

I feel like Facebook is nothing like face time. Lately I have been trying to call people, because I want more interaction than FB offers. People don't call back, but I see them on Facebook all day. So Facebook makes me fell like #1, maybe people don't like me much, or #2 maybe people are getting too used to the emotional distance that comes from "posting statuses".

My friend once had a party where she did not invite one family's kids (stating adults only) because she felt they were too rowdy. Then she posts pictures of the party, filled with kids. That made me so sad as I thought she was more excited to post than to realize that the other friend may catch on and have her feelings hurt. I have also had friends tell me they felt bad posting pictures when they forgot to include me in some activity; and you know what my feelings were hurt at the time.

Thanks for posting this; it's nice to know other people are wondering about the things I ponder myself. I think being a parent can be lonely sometimes and a site like FB can make those feelings stronger.

I was very excited to find old friends too on Facebook then deleted nearly all of them this past January. It was a cruel blow to realize that if someone has not bothered to keep up with me in the past 20 years, and doesn't write even on Facebook, that they weren't much of a friend to begin with.

I catch myself wanting to get on Facebook first thing in the morning, preferring a computer screen to my own children or pets. My housework has suffered terribly and all the flower seeds I bought to put in a beautiful butterfly garden are still in their packages while I sit at the computer screen. And I'm still as lonely as I was before. "Relationships" on Facebook are rather shallow to be truthful, even with people I see at church or in town. It does not seem to be helping build friendships. I actually dread getting a friend request now because of the implications of what will happen if we have a disagreement and I have to "de-friend" them. When did the computer become so important?

Thanks for bringing this issue up. It has forced me to take a hard look at my own time...a time that quite honestly I waste daily. Come summer I may just go on a Facebook fast and spent that time getting reaquainted with my own children. One of these days I'll be at home by myself after they are grown and if I'm still wanting screen time, I can use those hours then.

K.

I love FB! I have friends and family that I do not get to see very often and it helps me stay connected with them. I love to look at their pictures, even if I can't be there with them. It is fun to see what everyone is up to!

When we first decided to get FB accounts, both my husband and I were on it all the time b/c we wanted to see what people were up to. Now, we check it a couple of times per week, but honestly I just don't want to have the whole wall clogged with "So and so checked in at Panera Bread". Honestly, I want to know what is going on in their lives, but not their every breath.

Having said that, when my father-in-law died last month FB was a great resource for us. We were in shock and so overwhelmed that posting the information and the details allowed others to get the info without calling or texting. It also allowed people to share condolencse who wanted to, but who aren't really close enough to us to call.

Pretty indifferent about the whole thing, but definitely like seeing people's wedding and baby pictures!

I'm a Facebook person but I'm not a Twitter person.

I hunted down three friends from high school and I'm still looking for one more. One lives in England currently and the time difference is six hours so catching her in "chat" always makes my day. We basically picked up where we left off back in the 80s!

I keep my "friends" to actual friends so I don't get bogged down with just junk all day long.

Wow...some of you seem just a little judgmental. I understand that some things people say can make us scratch our heads or laugh or wonder what they are thinking. But is it really kind to be so irked because people like to talk about what they are eating or where? I'm not really that into sharing that for the sake of conversation. But I like to mention it sometimes so the daycare parents know if we've done something different, went on a quick little field trip, etc. Everyone has their reasons or maybe they are just bored. I don't like to see people swearing a lot. But I just hide their statuses and move on.

I've seen people swapping recipes, scrapbooking ideas, talking about meeting up, and much of it has nothing to do with me. But it feels good to know what people are up to.

I LOVE IT. My life is in my home and busy with little kids. If it wasn't for facebook I'd never know what's happening with my family and it's a great way to keep up with my clients too.

the trick is to not let it consume your every waking moment!

I use it to post updates on our family news & to follow the news of others.

I hate reading about the dinner menu! I also hate all of the games....no time in my life for that!

If you're feeling lonely, then you need to add some ooomph to your daily life. Find a hobby, volunteer......fill your time!

I am on fb quite a bit, checking for updates, replying, seeing what everyone is up too. Then I thought, 'who cares?'. I had almost 500 friends...extended family, people that went to my high school (not just ones in my class) and some people I have met networking (I'm an insurance agent). So about 2 weeks ago I went all psycho and deleted more than half of my friends on fb! If they never post anything, or don't reply to my posts, or if they had said something that maybe bugged me, whatever, I deleted them. And I might delete more if I feel like it. I post pics of kids and what we are doing so started to think I didn't really want EVERYONE to know that so that's what prompted it. I feel better now! :o)

I am so/ so on this. I love it because it is a way for my hubby and I to talk through out the day. If he is sitting at his desk we will use FB to chit chat. It also help with the lack of time or energy to shoot the breeze on thing like politics and things in the news. We love doing this and found we were just so beat by the end of the day all we would do is sit and watch Rachel Maddow or something and never really get into what we though. So this helps in that field. I also like it because it is a way for me to connect with my family outside of the state and or country. I do find it creepy knowing the people I am friends with even can search pictures and what not whenever. I doesn't bother me enough to the point I change my setting to private..even for my friends. It is set to private other then that.

My best friend was over this weekend and we were cruising through some pictures of people in HS. I looked at him about 15 minutes in and said ''it is sort of creepy looking through other peoples lives'' These are people we have known for a while and just lost touch with..I now know what their kids look like and stuff about them that i didn't really need to know. So i often wonder sometimes if ''to much'' is bad...I think it is odd knowing that at any given moment anyone of my 174 friends could be sifting through my posted photos. on the other hand my kids are really stinking cute and dont mind, none of them are creepy enough to change my opinion.

I have also come to realize..posting things I feel strongly about..Like legalizing pot can come across wrong and make me look like a bad mom. My 3 year old is in OT and Speech therapy. I am very close with his teacher and we are friends on FB. I have to remember that she sees what I post. Now she also knows where I stand on alot of things. So, I only hope she never takes my opinions out of context.

My verdict on the matter is always changing. I will however keep doing it. It is my outlet and a way to voice my opinion and keep myself out spoken to some degree. I do get bummed out though if someone posts something that sound like fun and I miss out. I just remind myself there is always next time.

Good question. I have always wondered about this myself.

I think its great for 16yr olds, and not right for me. If i have something to share with someone i can call them, email or even go old school and send a card. I figure if i lost touch with someone there is a reason for it, and theres no need to reconnect.

I hate seeing all my Mom friends' perpetual posts about their kids. Why don't you just get your kid a facebook! ha! "Oh, Sally went poo poo!" "Oh, Salley ate a meatball!" "Sally is picking her nose!"

Really?

</end rant>

But seriously I know what you mean. I've been wanting some face time lately but I've gotten pretty dependent on social networking. It's probably made us all lazy to a degree.

I love facebook! I do get lonely, because I live in TN and my family and all my friends are in ID... but facebook helps me with that, because not only can I constantly see new pics, status updates, etc. of everyone I left behind when I moved, I am able to post pics of MY DD and let them know whats going on with us. It's a great way for us to stay connected. :)

There is of course, always drama of some sort going on. I also hate the neverending ads for farmville, zoo world, what have you. But it's really easy to ignore the drama, and just 'hide' posts from the games... :)

For the exact same reasons you stated, is why I deactivated my Facebook account about 3 weeks ago. I was too addicted to it and felt that I was starting to live my life staring at my iPhone or sitting at my desk waiting for all the postings. Pathetic. I said, "screw it" one day and just deactivated it. I must say, I feel happier, those who truly miss me are either reading my family blog more or emailing me to my personal account. I can honestly say, I have no desire right now to reactivate my FB account but that doesn't mean that sometime down the line I won't. I'm just happy being "free" right now:)

I kinda hate it. I don't use it often, but there is something isolated and lonely about it. It's almost like as a hermit be nature, I felt more connected with just a few friends before. Seeing people always posting things and having 6000 friends is like a new feeling of loneliness. But I do it for work connection to follow other artists and their blogs and it is useful to reach people who aren't quite "email" intimate. I'm getting used to it more. It's weird how many personal feelings of inadequacy come up with a cold computer based "social" network. But probably only for people prone to feel that way anyway. :)

It makes me feel like a modern day hermit! I don't want to be bothered with doing it but more and more of my friends and family have come to rely on it to the point of no longer communicating with me because it is not convenient for them.

I'm on the so so side of things.

FB has helped me stay in touch with my friends, it has helped me promote my new business, it allows me to not work quite so hard at staying in touch with people....BUT...most of the time it really irritates me. I can't stand some of the types of posts on there. I really don't care for your daily workout update, what you've eaten every day, etc. I agree with Mallory P that FB is a great way for people to brag about how great they are. So when I post (which is only about once a week) it's usually to update people on some of the things going on...not everything.

Another thing that really irritates me..."friends" that don't seem to have time to get together with me, but seem to have all the time in the world to get together with others. Makes me feel like I'm not all that "liked". Makes me feel more lonely than ever. Makes me feel like we're not "friends". I'm pretty sure FB has secured the end of a close friendship. Not to blame it, but certainly sealed the deal to the end.

To end on a good note...I do like keeping updated on out of state family and friends that I can't get together with enough. It has refresed some old friendships, and does allow me to keep in touch with people that I normally wouldn't be able to.