How Do You Get Kids to Clean up After Themselves?

What ever doesn't get put back, take away! Pretty soon they won't have anything left to take away. I donate the items to Good Will or Salvation Army.

Pack up most of their things. It's amazing what people can live without. And they will seem like new stuff when you move!

This is a concept even a 2 year old can learn to understand. Unfortunately, the older siblings aren't helping with setting a very good example.
There's nothing wrong with getting toys out and playing, but when it's time to put them away, it's time to put them away.
Let me tell you what my mom did when I was a kid and I've done the same with my kids....
"Play time is over. It's time to put things back where they belong. You have 10 minutes. Anything that isn't put away will go into a garbage bag and it won't be given back. I'm not joking. If you can't put things away, you don't need it." (You can give them 15 minutes or even 20 depending on the situation).
Don't just threaten them, mean it and do it.
What they don't pick up can be taken to a rescue mission or a homeless shelter for little kids who don't have toys.
You can set a timer and say, "Okay. 5 minutes left. It looks like someone doesn't want their Barbie anymore, looks like somebody doesn't want their coloring books or puzzles anymore." Get the garbage bag out and ready.
If they don't take you seriously, it will take one time of you following through and either letting things go to the dump or be taken to a thrift store for them to figure out you mean it. They probably all play with each other's stuff to an extent anyway and they can all work together to get things picked up.
I've known lots of kids who will say, "I shouldn't have to pick that up...I didn't bring it out." Or, "Yes, that's mine, but I wasn't playing with it. I shouldn't have to put it away."
That's when you just have to say, "Doesn't matter. If it goes in the garbage bag, it goes. Period."
You might as well start doing that now so that when you move into a new house and they are reintroduced to the other 90% of their toys....they already know how the picking up rule works.
And, it works really well.
I always donated toys and clothing anyway and both of my kids actually said several times that they didn't really care about a certain toy or something, so I had them put it in the bag to donate and they were fine with getting rid of it, and I told them, "Good job!" It got picked up, we donated it, they felt good about it, problem solved and a few less things to worry about.

Give it a try!

Best wishes.

Check out Love and Logic...it has some really great tips in this area. Basically it says anything you pick up, you keep, anything they pick up, they keep. Genius. You'll need to read it for the whole story, but I like the ideas!

I think your two year old probably does understand. They made need some more assistance or more supervision, but they can do it too...also your older children could be helping the younger one as well.

My grandma used to do something to my brother and me when we'd stay with her during the summer. My brother had a really hard time picking up after himself and she got tired of asking too. She told him finally that he is to put his dishes in the sink, hang wet towels up, put toys away once he's done using them, etc. She asked if he understood how to do those things. He said yes. She told him that from then on out, anything he did not put away in the proper place she would tape to him. She did it too! He had to go out and play with the neighbor boys with his bath towel, cereal bowl, spoon, and some action figures all tapes to him. Guess what? He didn't leave anything laying around from there on out. Good luck!

I agree with what all of the other Mom's have said. I would modify it just a little bit, simply because I am an old softie and also because some of the toys that children have now are so durn expensive!!! I would start out by telling them that if they don't pick up in 10 minutes, or whatever time limit you pick, that things are going into the "out of place box" and will be kept there for a week...or whatever time period you decide on. (This is going to take some memory work on your part I admit!!!) The next time that toy is left out it can then go to Goodwill or whatever charity you decide to donate it to. That will give them a bit of a warning...that you mean business...before their toys disappear forever!!!
I would also make an exception for the 2 year old ( You are going to have to be careful here or there will be lots of "I didn't take that out the baby did, you can't put that in the box!!). I agree that a 2 year old is old enough to understand but it sounds to me like this is something new and not something that has been enforced from the time the 2 year old began playing with toys. You can't expect a toddler to catch on as quickly as the older siblings.
One last bit of advice...RELAX a little...the realtor is NOT going to be showing up at your house unannounced with someone to tour yourhouse!! You can tell them how many hours notice you need before the house is available to be shown. When there is an open house scheduled you will know that far enough in advance to get things ship shape!! Don't let this turn into a constant battle between you and your children!! Life is too short!!

A friend of mine uses what she calls her "Capture box". It is a tote tub that she puts anything in it that she has told her kids one time to pick up and they have not (she gives them about a min. depending on what is going on and their ages to pick it up). She does this for shoes, back packs, lunch boxes, toys in other words everything. The only way to get the item back is to do a job, it can not be one of their regular jobs but an extra one that she needs to get done, like dust the TV or Wipe down the window that the dog has gotten dirty. In other words if her oldest (he is in 4th grade) drops his back pack in the floor and does not pick it up within the one minute warning then he looses his back pack even if it has homework in it. To get it back then he must do a job I know that one day she told him he had to sweep the floor in the kitchen. I plan on using this more when we move.
One of the things that I did with my daughter when she was 2 was that I got out a trash bag and told her that if she did not want me to throw her toys away then she had better clean them up. I would give her a couple of minutes to start cleaning up before I would start and usually she would get most of her toys picked up before I would show up and start cleaning up the toys that remained. I hid the toys for a week and only gave them back to her one at a time and she had to put them away before I would give her another one. Now with my son this did not work he would start putting his toys in the same bag that I was using. He thought it was fun to throw his toys away.
Good luck.

Waht you could do is have a time-out box for their toys. If they don't pick them up when they are done, they go in the box for a week. It won't take long for them to remember to pick them up or they will lose them. I give them one warning before they go in the box, especially for the first few weeks to get them used to the new rule. My kids pick them up with hardly a word and usually only a look now because they don't want to lose their toys.

Your 9 year old and 4 year old are old enough to understand that the 2 year old needs help, and are old enough to help her. We gave our 4 year old responsibilities about a year ago. It is her job to keep her toys cleaned up and at bedtime she gets paid a quarter for doing her job. It helps her learn about responsibilities and the value of hard earned money, and we don't have toys strewn around all the time. It's not optional; she doesn't get to just work when she wants to get paid, but she does get paid for her work. Good luck!

I know I'm a little late answering, but when I was little I wouldn't pick things up. My Mom would just do it for me. Now that I'm older I have a hard time making myself keep my home clean. I never learned to do it and have paid for it ever since. Make sure that whatever you do, they learn to do it for themselves. I think taking away the ones that aren't put up is a good idea. My 3 year old can pick up after himself with just a reminder but he knows that he'll loose stuff if he doesn't. Just stick to your guns and don't give in.

do they understand the rule that before they get something new out, they must put the previous toys away? my three year old abides by this rule and has been for awhile. all the other ladies have great advice as well...but one thing that you mentioned kind of caught in my mind...you mention that your house is on the market and it has to be clean "at all times". is it possible you are expecting too much from three young kids? yes it's important the house look good, but how realistic is it to be perfectly clean at ALL times? and given that, is it possible you're putting too much pressure on yourself and your kids? really, what kids pick up after themselves ALL the time, EVERY time, perfectly? none i know. just a thought. i bet once you get moved and things settle down this won't be such an issue. so is that really fair to them?

ps. get the older two to help the 2 year old instead of you doing it.

With summer coming and being home more often, I've started something with my 6 and 4 year old where every hour we take 5 minutes to clean up. It's an easy reminder for me, and if I miss an hour it's not a bit deal. It's just an easy way to pick up throughout the day without feeling like you are nagging. If the house is a mess, know that in one hour you are all going to take 5 minutes to pick things up! It doesn't sound like much but my little guys can get a lot in 5 minutes, especially if I make it a "contest"--who can pick up the most toys? Good luck.

I'm with Tori. My daughter is 3, and she has been cleaning up after herself since about 1.5 Granted i'd help, a little then, and occassionally still do now, if we are in a hurry, but not often.

With the older ones, there's no consequence if they don't. You keep telling them to do it, but in the end it's you. I'd inform them of the new rule, of if I pick it up, it's gone, and then make sure you follow through. This would include the 2 yr old, and I'd prolly make sure the older ones know, it's up to them to help the younger one. I would take one of their toys away, if I had to take a toy away from the younger one. They might not care to help since they don't play w/ toys fit for a 2 yr old, it would be motivation.

With my 3 year old I tell him to pick up what he wants to keep and I am throwing away what is left. It seems to work pretty good. With my older kids - I picked the stuff up and they had to buy it back from me. It didn't take them long to get the message.

I don't know if your older kids watch TV or play video/computer games, etc. but you might try to limit/stop that if toys or something else not put away. Our children did pick up and when little I went and stood to supervise while they picked up and if very young I would help. They were very good about it as it became a habit. When some got older it started up again and I have to admit I did lose the battle with a few of the older ones on that as the only thing to do then is tell them to move out. But I will say that when I worked in the church nursery for several years I had a group of 1-2 year olds and every week when I said time to pick up they did. They can learn very young and like to help. They picked up all the toys, I helped some but they did it, and then they would sit in rockers and wait for their parents to come at the very end. Parents came to pick up calm little children so happy. Children seem to love schedules/structure. If you get them picking up at age two it is then a habit. I did take things left out and laying around like mentioned by so many. But if the child is older and not trained to pick up then they usually can live without whatever you take even if they really would like to have it. Find something that really is important to them and tell them if they haven't done what you asked then they can't do, or go or have whatever. Let them know ahead of time that there will be a result to their not doing what asked to do.

There is a box in my laundry room that is filled with treasures! The kids have no idea where their stuff disappears too! Mine are 12 and 6 and we have the same issues - believe it or not the 12 year old is worse! She is currently looking high and low for those blue converse, you remember mom, the ones with the stars on the side?! Ja-jajajaja! I feel evil but she has more shoes than I do and she needs to learn how to pick up behind herself. Good luck!

Two-year old's can understand and they have to learn sometime! My daughter is two and she has learned. I tell her that if she doesn't pick up her toys and put them away, I will, but she won't get them back until I decide to give them back. I've only had to do it one time and since then I've only had to remind her about it. Unless the toy is broken or somehow dangerous I wouldn't give it away or throw it in the trash. I bought most of her toys in the first place and can't afford to just throw them away! We had gotten her some jumbo leggo-like blocks which she loves to dump out and kick all over the living room. I asked her to pick them up a few times, then I told her to pick them up a couple of times, then she told me to pick them up. That's when I told her that I would, but she wouldn't get them back until I decided. She said she didn't care so I picked them all up and put them in my closet. She asked for them 3 days later and I told her "no" and reminded her of our deal. She told me everyday for the next 3 days that she wanted them back. I told her that I wanted kid that would pick up after herself. Finally on the seventh day she politely asked for them back. I asked her if she intended to pick them up when she was done playing with them. She said that she did so I gave them back. We haven't had that problem again.