How Do You Get Your Kids to Pick up Their Toys!?

Updated on October 04, 2011
A.E. asks from Waukee, IA
22 answers

I was wondering how you get your kids to pick up their toys.
My 3yr old was doing so good and now she doesn't do anything. I have taken them away hidden them, done time outs.
We just got a toybox so thought that this would help, also not doing anything real fun till she does it either.
Do you take the toys away, do you throw them away.. ( fake and then put them somewhere)

How many toys do you have in one room at a time...? ie how many in the toy box?...

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✿.K.

answers from Boston on

At that age they need some direction like pick up all the blocks, oh you did a great job now pick up all the cars, etc you can't just say it's time to pick up it's too overwhelming for a young child.

If she refuses it's time for a time out.

I have found that cubbies help reduce the mess because everything is visible when you have a toy box it has to be emptied to find the toy you want on the bottom creating a mess before play even starts.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't clean up after my kids...never have. I tell them if they are big enough to make the mess, they are big enough to clean it up. If they don't clean them up, then the toys go in the trash. You only have to throw 1 toy away in front of them (pick one you hate) and they realize you mean business. No yelling. No screaming. No begging. And that goes goes for them, as well. LOL

We have a cubicle organizer from Lowe's that has 9 cubbies and 9 fabric boxes. I will never have a toy box, everything gets lost. With this, we have one box for trains, one for tracks, one for balls, one for random toys, one for animals, etc. The kids can sort and clean up fast. They also know where everything is.

They are allowed to play with whatever they want, but when they move on to something else, they need to pick up the previous toys.

I have 4 kids (all under 9), work and homeschool. I'm their mom, not their maid. If you don't have her start with responsibilities now, she never will. My kids empty the trash in the house and take the barrels to the street, vacuum, clean the mirrors, make their beds, and they ALL (including the 3 year old) know how to do laundry.

My husband's mom did everything for him and he is lazy as anything. I don't want to enable my children, but rather raise them with good work ethics and it starts in the home. It's never too early. My son was 18 months old and emptying the dishwasher. He loved helping and I allowed it, so he has no problem helping now.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

She's too little to have such involved consequences.

Decrease the number of toys she has access to. Put the rest in a big plastic tote in the garage or another inaccessable place. Switch out ALL her toys every so often so she doesn't get bored with wht she has.

A smaller number of toys she loves to play with is always better than a huge mess of toys she doesn't.

The rest is all about making picking up part of her routine. Pick up at a specific time...say, before meals. And until it's a habit, you have to do it with her. Tell her "we can't have dinner until all the toys are put away! Let's do it together! Oh boy, lets do a good job/hurry...I'm sooooo hungry!"

4 moms found this helpful

☆.H.

answers from San Francisco on

At 3 we sang a clean up song and helped some.
At 5 I set a timer for anywhere from 5-15 minutes depending on the size of the mess and let him know I expect it to be clean when I get back. If it isn't he gets micromanaged (ok, pick x up and put it away, now pick y up...), if he fights me I get a trash bag. He gets a month to earn it back or it goes to goodwill.

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

A.:

For the longest time I have told my kids that if they can take it out - they can put it away.

As they got older - if I stepped on it - it was mine. If they leave it out - and I've asked them to put it away - they have to the count of 5 to pick it up and put it away...if not - it's gone...and they know I'm serious...

they lost all of their NERF guns and were NOT happy about.

I don't "kid" with my rules. I donated the guns. They had to use their allowance to buy new ones...needless to say - they appreciate their toys a tad bit more...

3 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

Make it fun. Have toy clean up races, sing the clean up song.
As kids get older emphasize only having one thing out at a time and putting things away as you play. My youngest has a play room and toys do tend to seep into other areas of the house, but if I give him a laundry basket he will help. We have open shelves where toys go and one of those units that have multiple shelves with buckets for toys.

2 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Organizational receptacles (shelves, cube storage, etc) are big help. She does need very literal directions, as well. However, she is no dummy. She sounds flat out stubborn, so next time, I would bag up what she refused to clean up, and make her go with you to see you donate it or toss it. Sometimes you have to take extreme measures to get your point across.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Try making it a game. Who can get the most toys in the toy box in a minute or I bet you can't put all the toys in the toy box in 2 minutes...GO!

2 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids have a ton of toys and they are everywhere...their romms, the living room and the family room! What we do is a family 'Ten Minute Tidy'...everyone is up and cleaning at the same time...we all help out! When they were really little I would sing, "clean up, clean up everybody do their share! clean up, clean up!"

We do a Ten Minute Tidy every night before bed.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Lafayette on

they need help at this age
I would get cubbies or boxes instead of the toybox-everything gets dumped in there and then you can't find what you want. have a system, limit what you keep to only the very best, and rotate even those (put some in a closet...I rotated every six months, but see what works)

2 moms found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there! I had the same problem with my kids. One night I was watching nanny SOS and they really did come to my rescue!
IT really worked!

Here goes...
Put two baskets/boxes (for two kids) ( each gets a designated box) then tell them that its time to play a game to see how fast you can fill up the box with toys. Count To three... And watch them go!!!! :-)

good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Don't feed them until they do. It's very simple and it works :)

2 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Dover on

Keep the number of toys down to a manageable ammount.

Give specific instructions, chunking up the cleaning so it isn't overwhelming( i.e. :pick up the blocks. good, now pick up the dolls. good, now pick up the books) until the chore is done.

What isn't picked up is put in toy time out until she picks up. Eventually as her toys start to dwindle, she will start to pick up in order to get them back.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

I do cleanup races. I'll set a timer for 10 minutes and we try to get everything picked up. My 2 and 4 year old love it! The 2 year old doesn't stay focused the whole time, but he does help. Now my 4 year old is starting to do more cleanup on her own. I also while make a compromise with our daughter. If she will pick up all of her princesses, then I will pick up the legos. I still usually have to do a clean sweep at the end of the day, but it goes much faster now because they have helped.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Fresno on

I actually told both of my girls that I didn't have time to pick up their toy mess and if they didn't do it, they were not allowed to play with the neighbors daughter. They love to play outside on the swing set and run around. But you have to be consistent because if not, next time she won't believe you. This worked for me so just explain to her that she must be responsible for her things and picking up after herself. She should get and stick to what you say. I know it's hard so good luck and take care!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

At that age, I'm afraid I found that I needed to be involved. I suggest that if she was able to pick up her toys by herself earlier she still can. I would stay close by until she picked them up. Or set a specific time to pick up toys if you don't mind having them out all day. Don't allow her to move on to another activity until her toys are put away. This does mean you supervising which does take time. Perhaps after you do this for awhile she'll be able to do it without immediate supervision.

I suggest that taking toys away may not work because she has others with which to play. It works for some kids but not for others.

I believe that it's important to be honest with children. If you say you're going to throw them away you have to either throw them away. You can say you're giving them away but then you have to give them away. You want your child to trust that you'll do as you say. Otherwise that compromises the "threat."

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

give her 5-6 toys put the rest away-in a couple months switch them out-kids get overwhelmed over all the toys thats why they take so many out-one year for xmas my kids got so much stuff you couldnt walk thru living room-after everyone left i packed up over half of it then just switched out every few months.my kids got so freaked out they left the living room.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

We sing songs and do it together. Also try to make sure she only takes out one or two things at a time.

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

The main thing is not the number of toys, but whether or not there is a specific place for each and every toy. If she has more toys than places to put them, then you'll need to go through and get rid of (or store for later) a bunch of them. If you have an easy and logical place for everything, it will be easier for her to put them away.

When she is done playing, you and she should clean up together, rather than expecting her to clean up on her own (without being reminded) every time she is done playing.

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M.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

What works for my daughter is she usually wants to color, So I tell her to put her toys up and we'll get her coloring book and crayons out. And she does it!

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C.W.

answers from Sioux City on

1. Lead by example. If you expect your kids to keep their spaces clean, you must keep your spaces clean.

2. Have a one-toy-out-at-a-time rule. If Sarah has been playing with her teddy bear, and she decides that she wants to switch to her dolly, have her put the bear away before getting her dolly.

3. Communicate your expectations to your kids. Make sure your kids know that you expect them to clean up after themselves, specifically what clean-up duties are expected of them, and how to perform those duties. Duties may include putting away toys, cleaning up liquid spills, vacuuming up granular spills, or wiping surfaces that bear sticky finger prints. (Younger kids should have fewer and simpler duties; older kids may assume responsibility for a greater quantity and complexity of duties.) Emphasize the benefits of keeping things clean. You may even use humor to emphasize your point.

4. Make games out of cleaning. Games include scavenger hunts, timed cleaning contests (i.e., who can clean their room the best in five minutes), math games (i.e, would you put away two plus two toys?), and color and size games (i.e., would you put away all your red toys? would you put away all your toys that are bigger than your bunny?)

5. Set the cleaning to music. Use moderately lively music as a theme song for cleaning activities. When that song plays, the kids will know it’s time to clean. The pace of the music should be fast enough to encourage active cleaning without being so fast as to have the kids being carelessly fast in cleaning.

6. Involve the kids in cleaning-related craft activities. For example, you can buy some storage bins and have your kids decorate them to indicate what items are stored in which bins. Susie may put her name on her bins and then label the bin with hand-drawn pictures of the contents of the bin (i.e., this bin is for stuffed animals . . . or this bin is for electronic toys).

7. Help your kids clean, at least initially. Working alongside your kids, laughing and making the experience fun, can be very motivating. Your babysitter can also initiate this fun experience.

8. Praise your kids for meeting (or coming near) your expectations. Reward good behavior (i.e., cleaning) with rewards such as treats and fun activities. For example, a dish of ice cream or a trip to the park may be a reward for a room successfully cleaned in the time allowed.

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A.R.

answers from Boston on

i say do it or you do nothing else....i say this about three times a day and their bedrooms are still flooded with toys.....were kind of limited for space so i generally try to keep toys out of the living room....fearing people trip...they go through the tv etc.

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