I tell my 2 y/o son that mommy is having a baby and he still has no clue whats going on. I have him look at my belly and I tell him there is a baby in there and he just pulls my shirt down and is wondering what Im doing. My SIL asked him today "Matthew, where is the baby" and he turned around and pointed to my baby nephew. He really doesnt like it when I hold babies either. Or even when my five year old daughter sits on my lap.. Im really worried about him when the baby comes. I love on him a ton and I never plan on stopping, but Im worried for him.
Get him a baby doll and help show him what you are going to be doing with the baby and it would be a big help to you if he could take care of his baby while you took care of the new baby ... i think that may be a good trick ... and tell daddy that the baby doll will be good for his self help skills too! (because it will).
books, books, & more books! There's lots of good choices on the market. Hit Amazon or Barnes&Noble's websites....
Don't worry about him not understanding that a baby is in your tummy.
Just let him help with his baby nephew. Bring you a diaper, show him how baby eats and needs lots of rest and cuddles, show him how to softly pat his cheeks or play a quiet tickle game of peek a boo.
Get a little big brother type of story to read to him..
http://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Brother-Joanna-Cole/dp/06881...
http://www.amazon.com/New-Baby-Mercer-Mayer/dp/0307119424
When the baby comes, and the baby is on your lap, give him a tasks to feel important and needed, let him hold the baby's feet while the baby eats, help him interact with the two of you. Spend alone time with him as well, but let him know you love all your children equally.
I like the idea of getting him a baby doll that might help. I would also suggest including him in as many tasks as possible for the the new baby. If you are buying diapers or whatever, let him know who they're for. If you're getting out baby stuff, bottles, etc. clue him in and tell him these things the baby is using. When it's time to do the nursery, let him help. I'm not sure how far along you are but he'll probably pick it up pretty soon. I also agree that when the baby comes to let him help then too...throwing out the diaper is a big task! Also when my son was born I bought a bag of stuff for my daughter to do when I was feeding him. I put in there things like new books, stickers, etc., all stuff she could do on her own. She turned 2 one week before he was born, so we were in the same boat! I only brought out that bag when I was nursing/pumping so that it was 'special'. I also used a magna doodle and kept that hidden too and switched it out with the bag.
I don't think a 2 y/o boy is probably into where something he can't see is located so I would skip that part and just explain that he will have a baby to love and that you will have more to love and play with. He needs to get over the jealousy with his 5 yr. old sister too and by just holding her and saying 'your turn is next' he will not feel like he's so special as to get 1st choice all the time. He'll still know you love him. It's when you act like he will be upset that it makes it worse. When the baby comes you may have to keep a close eye on him so he is gentle and accepting for awhile. The other suggestions about him helping you are very good. My 2 yr. old daughter helped get diapers and brought all kinds of things for me when her sister was born and she felt part of caring for her in that way. Just love them all equally and it should be fine.
I agree with the ladies that suggested books. Our first was 16 months when our second was born. We bought a big brother book and read it ALL THE TIME. And I just started making our own conversation about the baby and what the baby would do, how he could help, and how special he was to be a big brother.
We tried the baby doll thing, but it didn't work for us. Our son could care less about it. However, now, after having the baby, he will "take care" of the baby doll...it is super cute to see how much he catches on to what we do for the baby.
We bought the Joanna Cole book "I'm a big sister" for my daughter, and it's still one of her favorite books - even now that her baby sis is 7 months old. It talks about what the baby can and cannot do, and how she can help.
We also brought our girl to the hospital to see me and the baby. We told her it was "her baby" and the baby could come to our house. When she looked at the baby as hers, I think that helped. We also let her help a lot - and she still likes to help. We ask her to get us burp cloths or blankets, or throw away the dirty diapers. She also likes to "get the diaper ready for baby" by opening up the diaper and pulling out the sticky clasps.
Breastfeeding was the most difficult, because she saw the mommy and baby time and wanted in on it. I used this time for reading to her - she would go get three or four books, and we'd read them while I was nursing. It would have been even better if I had prepared her ahead of time to hold the books herself and turn the pages. Sometimes it was difficult for me to help her with that while my arms were full. She likes to color, so I'd often get her crayons out right before we nursed.
