P.N.
I nightweaned DD at 28 months. We coslept as well. She was still waking a couple times a night. It took 4 nights for her but I figured she was ready as she had stopped nursing to sleep exclusively. During the day I explained that we weren't nursing at night anymore but that I would help her get back to sleep if she awoke. No milk until the sun was up I explained. I offered water and hugs. She was mad and cried, but this lessened each night until the 5th night she no longer awoke (though I still did!).
My husband wasn't really involved. He was there and awoken, but I did it mostly. We continued to cosleep as well, it was not an issue for DD.
You may find that if you night wean she will have more needs for nursing during the day initially, she may need the connection more. So I probably wouldn't tackle both at once. But probably a week or 2 after night weaning you can work on the grazing.
With DD I made sure she always had a cup of water around and I made sure that she had meals and snacks periodically so hunger or thirst would not be an issue.
I also used distraction when I felt it was boredom nursing or something. If she would ask soon after nursing I would offer her a snack or put her off a bit and offer a project or activity. This often worked. If she really needed it, that became apparent, but if it was boredom or just something to do, she would happily move on.
You need to be matter of fact and NOT feel guilty about it. "Oh let's do that in a few minutes, come here and look at this!" If you get frustrated with her or get into a battle of wills over it, it will make it that much more important for her. Just don't make it something to feel sad about. Say Yes, but then distract. If her thirst and hunger are already satisfied and if she is feeling that she is getting enough attention from you then she should go along. I know often if DD was constantly asking to nurse I realized that I was trying to do my own thing too much and she just really wanted some attention.
It is best to eliminate one nursing at a time, with at least 3-4 days before eliminating another one. (That's witht he daytime stuff, I think at night at this age it is easiest to just have none at all, otherwise it's too confusing) Also, recognize that nursing is about connection too so she may need more attention from you. You should try to substitute other attachment activities instead. If you try to just keep busy to avoid it, it may backfire and make her really want to hang onto all those nursings that much more.
"Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" is a book that may be helpful. She has a chapter in there on weaning. Your library may have it or get in touch with your local LaLeche League group. They may have a lending library and I'm sure they've got a copy.
And just remember to have patience. She's been doing it this way for almost 2 years, so you can't expect to change things overnight.
