How Do I Tell My Mom I Failed 2 Classes?

You won't ruin your relationship. You sound like a great kid, and I'm sure your mom knows it. A couple of grades don't define you.

It sounds like you should go back to a regular public school vs. staying in online school. Public school is more fun, anyway.

"Hey mom, I failed math and biology. I think online school isn't for me. I need to go back to a regular school, where I have the community I need to succeed."

I am not sure of why you decided to take online classes, but hopefully your mom will understand that this change was a big one for you. I have taught online for 20 years and my teen son did one year of high school online. Online classes are much harder for students for many, many reasons. Try to figure out what happened. Were you confused a lot? Were you unable to manage your time? Stay motivated? Did you get feedback from your teachers? When you have answered these questions and begun to figure out what might have happened, go talk to your mom. Failing classes is not the end of the world. It is a challenge that you will be able to deal with . I am sure your mother will understand.

Sounds like this online system didn't work well for you. That's unfortunate and must be hard to deal with. I can sort of relate - I was an A+ student until I hit college - and then without my support system around me (I went to school far away from my family) I didn't do so well. I just sort of slid until I couldn't get my grades back up. It was hard to tell my parents. But once I did, I felt so much better.

So - I think you tell your mom and use this as a learning experience. It happens to all of us at some point, something doesn't work out as we expected and we fear we are disappointing someone. Really - you've just learned that you need to do school more the old way - or if you continue online studies, then figure out (with your teachers) how things didn't work out for you - what you found difficult, and if you should keep going this route. You mentioned your sister helped you - so maybe you would need a tutor.

Any how - not the end of the world. Maybe there's summer school? But definitely just let your mom know. You say she was aware you were struggling - so this can't be a total surprise to her. Plus you passed your exams, and your teacher said that meant you would pass the course. Seems like miscommunication there somewhere. Best not to dwell on it on your own and get your mom's support. We moms are understanding and want what's best for our kids. She will understand.

Best to you

she won't be mad, trust me, I'm a mom in that situation
Freshman year of high school my daughter was ranked number 11 out of 656 with a 5.555 gpa out of a 4.0 possible. She got into a very elite math and science academy that is a 3 yr residential school for sophomores, juniors and seniors. You have to get in your sophomore year as it's a 3 yr program. They only take the top 1% of the whole state, 250 kids per class.
Graduating classes are around 200 kids because so many kids leave due to it being so hard.
An example of how hard it is -- at her regular school she took Honors Biology her freshmen year. Got over 100% each semester. So, when she took an "Introduction to Biology" class at her new school we expected her to do well in it obviously. I mean yes it was a whole year of science squished into one semester but no problem. She barely passed it. It was completely different and very intense.
Instead of being upset with her we were concerned for her mental health. We were upset that our daughter who had always done so well was struggling. We questioned what her home school was actually teaching. But we didn't blame her. OK, her dad may have a bit. But I knew she was trying hard, studying and doing all she could to do well. I saw the effort she was putting in and the worry she was having over it. So, trust me, your parents will be mad probably, but they will still love you. They will be upset in that they can't help you more than anything else. Parents worry about their kids having success, we want you to have a better life than we have, so any "anger" would be if you didn't give the effort, but otherwise it's more worry that your life will be hard and they only want it to be good.

I'll just add to what's been written below: On line school didn't work for you, obviously. You only managed when your sister was there - so you weren't doing it on your own. It was, at some point, your obligation to inform your mother that you were struggling. But it also, in my view, was your mother's obligation to check in with you and with your teachers, and your teachers' obligation to send progress reports and suggestions for improvement. So no one was communicating with anyone else. There's fault on all sides. So you did not fail her. All aspects of this system failed.

So you sit down and tell her that you need her help. It's not the end of the world. You can make up the work or, better, find a better program that gives you more direct interaction with your teachers.

Moreover, you and your mother need to look at the reasons for the move and the tremendous adjustment that was for you. It sounds like you flourished in a more involved learning community with friends, activities and teachers vs. a virtual relationship with only a computer. That's a lesson learned - you need the community around you.

If you are close with her, what is it that scares you about what she will do? What kind of mom abandons or rejects a child who needed help and didn't get it? If you are close, she will value that as much as you do. Tell her what you need - her support, her love, her commitment and her help to get you into a better educational situation.

Having a close relationship with mom is nice. The fact that she may not speak to you because of this disappointment isn't so nice. Your mother has to know in her heart that although you've demonstrated excellence is many things that you are not supergirl or perfect. It's okay to be imperfect. There was obviously an adjustment period for the transition to online study. She should really be able to understand that since she loves you.

I would sit down with her when you both have time to talk and let her read your post and these wonderful mom's answers and go from there. Your mom loves you more than you can imagine and will want to help you figure out the best way to go from here. No good mother would disown her child for a couple of failed classes. This is just a bump in the road of life and the two of you can figure it out together. Maybe one of your favorite past teachers might have some good ideas for the both of you, too.

You have to tell her.
Where we are we have something the school uses called Synergy - grades can be tracked all year through it and parents and child can see everything - so there are no surprises like this.
Sure she'll be mad and disappointed - but you're her child and parents love their kids like nothing else.
You'll have to take those classes again - maybe summer school is an option.
If online school isn't working out for you, then it's time to get back in a brick and mortar school building and go to classes like everybody else does.
How exactly did your sister help?
Did she help you understand your course work or did she do your work for you?
Talk to your guidance counselor and have a plan for how to do these classes over - and tell your Mom you failed but this is how you will take them over again.
You own that you were in over your head but you're mature enough that you've worked out how to handle this problem.
She'll respect you for that and will get over being mad eventually.

Hi J.,

This doesn't define you or constitute a "failure." What is demonstrates is that this is not a good fit for you and you are in need of guidance and a change. My DS has had his struggles this year and we took every one of them as an opportunity to discover where there was a disconnect and what we could do as a team (him, us and his teachers) to drill down to the core problem and support him through his challenges.

Part of your mom's role in your life is to support you through your education and so you have to include her in this as a supportive problem solver. Share with her your concerns about her feelings but emphasize this as part of your overall educational learning curve and ask her for her help. She's been there before and I guarantee, no matter what she tell you, she has hit educational roadblocks of her own from time to time. I thought my father was a straight A student from Kindergarten through his BS until he finally fessed up that he failed freshman stats at Stanford and almost left the program. He understood and stepped up to help me during my first couple of years in college and it actually brought us closer together. Parents are human too..I can't tell you how she'll react but I would hope she would take you in her arms, tell her she loves you and sit you down for a strategy session on how to solve this immediate problem and prevent it in the future.

you're going to be just fine. take a cleansing breath and put on those big girl pants. It won't be the last time they'll be required in your life. :-)!!! Good luck!! S.

Unlike some of the mamas here, I am not sure of anything about how your mama will take this. You have known her all your life and yet you are unsure of her reaction.

How about having your sister act as go between?

Good luck.

It sounds like you've going through quite a bit of change, are you in highschool and doing home school? Or out of high school and taking online courses for college level classes?

With all that you've been through and the way you worded some of this I'd say you need to see someone. It sounds like you've having a little depression. They can refer you to a psychiatrist for a med check. Then you'll be able to have some physical help while you work through your life changes. Then when you're doing better you can stop the antidepressant and be better.

I do not think you need a medication for a long long time nor do I think you have to have it. I think of meds like this as a tool. They help your coping skills while you work through things.