hello, you can't make him do anything ,, I have a differnt view on this , being from the other side , I was cheated on , and heres what happened , I decided to stay too , and I told myself over and over i could get past it , and trust again, and I wanted to , it hurts a lot , truth is I tried real hard to get over it , but could not , the reason why is , it stays in your mind , it was always in the back of my head like your hubby , if you are 5 minutes late he needs to know where you are , because there is a overwhelming fear that as soon as he let's up on you , you will do it again , here is my suggestion , # 1 discuss , it ask him , point blank is he going to be able to get past it or not , and here is how you can help , let him check on you in some areas , thats hard to explain , but I have a new husband , and sometimes i will check reciepts or emails , but he knows I do that ,, he let's me to show he's not hiding anything or being sneaky , and this whole thing had nothing to do with him, it's MY issue now .
your guy might really want to just get past it and trust you but maybe he just can't do it , he has to decide and make an effort , and stop throwing it in your face, the reason he does that is to hurt you , and try to make you feel his pain , when he is mad or hurt he want's you to feel as hurt as he did , that sounds mental , but I did it too, my ex and I finally broke up I drove him probably crazy with all my checking and re hashing it , we had a lot of other problems too , looking back , and now I am over it , it took me 3 years ,, THREE years, It got to the point where we fought every day and ended up hating each other for awhile , you don't want to get to that . You can't take back what you did , and he may not be able to let it go , even if he wants to , so heres a possibility sit down and lay down some rules ,, let him check on you once a day on the cell , whatever it is he does to feel like he is in control ,, let him have SOME, but make a limit ,, it's fear , he doesn't want to feel that bad again.
the other reason he throws it in your face is loss of control ,, for example he didnt know where you were for half an hour and he can't fix that so he lashes out. Thats the one thing he is doing wrong and not helping himself , by causing a fight . This is something HARD to get through , you guys could start with getting through the two holidays coming up by making an agreement to just enjoy them ,maybe discuss each others feeling in a calm way ONCE per day for the next 2 months. You can guarentee him you will not be doing anything with anyone for 2 months , sounds stupid , but it might help ,then go from there., well I went on and on , hope it helped.