How Do I Get My Son to Fall Asleep on His Own?

He's only 9 months old. It's ok to let him nurse on demand.

I think you have to make a decision about your philosophy (on this and the other companion question - so I'm combining my answers) and get in sync with your husband. Some people love to nurse forever and co-sleep in the same bed (forget the recliner - that's a bad idea for everyone). Other parents want to wean at this point and have their own bed back. Some nurse during the day but not at night, and the baby sleeps in a crib in his own room. Either way, you're going to have challenges, so you have to decide which approach you're going to stick to.

As Doris says below, too little sleep in very small increments is very damaging to a baby's brain development. So talk to the pediatrician, and get a book from the library on the Ferber method, and decide if that's what you're going to do. If you are, then understand that you don't let him cry uncontrollably without going in, but you also don't pick him up or nurse him either, and you are absolutely not the only one to do this with him. Your husband is either in on it or you invite Grandma or you hire a night nurse to help. You commit to a period of 3-6 days (or nights) of difficulty during which you will not cave in. He's not going to learn this in 1 hour or 1 night, but that doesn't mean it's not going to work. What's worse is confusing him with different approaches because one didn't work the first time. It took us 3 nights, with my husband and I alternating on who went in to deal with our son (he was 6 months old and we did this on the pediatrician's recommendation, because she was extremely concerned that our son wanted 2 bottles during the night). We were exhausted, yes, but we didn't change course and we stuck it out. By night 3, everyone was in much better shape and our son was so much happier during the day because he was finally rested.

He does not need to eat at night at 9 months, whether it's breast or bottle. So he can physically go without food easily, and make up for it during the day. Your pediatrician will confirm that.

Yes, he's little, but not a newborn - and he needs sleep. You do too. You absolutely must not drive a car (with him in it or not) until you are getting some decent rest. It's dangerous to all - you, your child, and everyone else on the road.

I have a 1 year old and he is still nursing - he sleeps with me and I am not 100 percent happy, but I have the same problem, he only sleeps for a while on his own. I nursed my first one for two years and she stopped on her own. I am planning on doing the same with my son, but I am tired most of the time. All I can tell you is that I enjoy this stage and he is only going to be a baby once. My daughter is now four and she sleeps on her own. Everything will work out at the end. Trust me!

I wholeheartedly agree w Diane. Read up, pick a philosophy, stick with it , and try to create a good support system. At 8 weeks old, I had 2 friends tell me it was time for my son to sleep without me. I was very comfortable with the idea of working towards sleeping in separate rooms, but thought that at 8 weeks it was impossible. I tried it anyway. On night 1, he slept through the night. He was good to go after that and I never looked back! He is now approaching 6 years-old and he always sleeps in his own bed and room, 11 hours a night and has 2nhour naps on the weekends. Once in a blue moon he asks me to sleep with him and I gently remind him that we both have our designated spaces. We “camped out” together indoors last night for fun, and he got the worst sleep with me by his side. Make a choice, then your strategy, and be consistent. If you can do it for consecutive nights without faltering, you’ll get quicker results. Giving in may mean you have to start all over again.

Wrap the child in a shirt that you recently wore,the tot will relax and go to sleep,i did this with our daughter when she was little

He's old enough to sleep a heck of a lot longer than 10 minutes without nursing. Even a newborn doesn't wake ever 10 minutes.

Please don't let him do this. It's not good for him or for you. His brain development needs longer stretches of sleep and he has to learn to self-soothe so that puts himself to sleep instead of you doing it.

It won't be easy to do this, but you CAN do it. And you have to stick with it every single night until he is sleeping better, or all your work will have been for nothing.

Feed him a filling cereal (oatmeal?) before bed and nurse him. Keep him groggily awake before putting him in the crib and walk out of the room. Let him fuss - he needs to fall asleep without you in the room. He has a full tummy and does not need for you to come back in to him. At the point in the middle of the night that he doesn't have a full tummy anymore, go in when he's crying and sit on the FLOOR against the crib and touch his leg so that in order to be closer to you, he has to lay down. Let him cry. You are there with him but you aren't holding him or nursing him. It will take several nights for him to fall back asleep more quickly. LET him learn, even though it is very hard.

He is not a new baby anymore. Don't treat him like it. Be brave and be strong.

I answered your other question as to how I got mine to sleep on their own - so I won't repeat all that here.

I used soothers with all mine and that was helpful instead of being a human pacifier. Mine breastfed but I did start with bottles around 6 months - first to supplement (I found my milk supply, always very bountiful (I was often engorged actually) would go down at night time though, just because I would be tired even though I drank a lot of water - I found giving them a bottle at night would fill them more than I could naturally, and then if I did breastfeed once during the night it was a full feed).

If he's screaming make sure he's not full of gas. My first was. I wasn't getting a good burp - especially between sides. He would gulp air. So between breasts I would sit him upright and get all that gas out and especially after the final drink - I'd get that air out before laying him down. That's especially important if he's co-sleeping. All too often it's easy to let them drift off on the breast but if they don't burp - they will wake again shortly after the feed - and be in pain.

They can vomit up the milk they just drank.

So that might be it.

I would break the habit of nursing him to sleep in a couple of ways. I had a bouncy seat that mine would drift off in. I had the soother (but even if you don't) and mine would just gradually doze off in the chair. Other times, they'd get good and drowsy and as eyes were closing, I'd lay them down in crib. You can keep hand on them or whatever you need to do until they drift off. If your baby sleeps in bed, lay next to him as he falls asleep. Just don't nurse. Or have hubby lay with him.

Just keep at it - he may fuss (likely will) but just keep rubbing back, shhhing him, whatever it takes. I found doing it as he's naturally falling asleep worked best for me.

Good luck :)