How Do I Get My Kids to Listen to Me?!! - Topeka,KS

One trick that helped me was to tell the kids, "Oh, that's too bad you didn't pick up your toys when I asked you to. I guess that means you're too tired to listen to me, so now you get to go to bed one hour early. That way you'll be more rested tomorrow and ready to listen." And then do it. My little one is a firecracker who is constantly pushing my buttons, and when I started doing this, her behavior did a 180. A few nights of going to bed at 6pm and she realized that there was no way that a few extra minutes playing with her toys was worth it! (Plus, on those days when she was really obnoxious, I was READY for her to be in bed at 6!) I hope that helps. Hold your ground, mama!

I only have 2 boys...but I so remember the newborn stage and trying to discipline my older son while nursing my youngest. He had a latch issue no less, so as soon as I got him latched on (sometimes up to 15mins) my almost 2 yr would start acting up. Its like they know you aren't going to do anything right. ... Now mind you my lil guy was only 21 months so I had a really hard time knowing whether he knew what I was telling him.

But ou know what my lifesaver was...the Moby! Wrap that baby up, I spent two weeks on my 2 yr old's lil' behind! I corrected ever misbehavior immediately, I did a lot of training and he finally realized I meant business. Of course there were times he thought he could try me, once I started sitting down and doing my own things, but the number one thing was, I stopped what I was doing and took care of it.

There was literally one day where we had a timeout episode that lasted 1hr 30minutes. I was so ready to give up, but kept saying I couldn't now. Luckily my hubby came home and took over for me. We have never had a timeout problem since...Hard I know. I don't know if you were really looking for advice or just some reassurance that you are not the only one. I assure you you are not the only one who's been here! Hang in there, it will get better! Just be consistent I promise it made all the difference in our household :)

Hello. First of all know that kids almost always act the worst for mom. We are the one they test the most. We are the ones to see all of them.

I got a 3 minute egg timer to use when brushing teeth or when doing certain things. Otherwise I nag, nag, repeat, nag, nag, repeat. It was exhausting.
They are racing the timer, not me. That helped with the daily routine.

I also found out that if kids are hungry and tired, they just don't do well.
I had to make sure to feed them on time even if we were traveling.

So sorry to hear it. Hope it gets better for you. Maybe check out the parenting with love and logic. We all feel pretty warn out at times and my 3 year old can put me in tears at times too.

I know my 5 year old enjoys making house rules(they did class rules in school). I'm sure your 3 year old could join in some. Very simple rules, let them think of them and you give some suggestions. Like use your walking feet in the home and your inside voice. Show respect for yourself and others. etc and some really silly ones to. Then ask them what should happen when they rules are broken(even by mom/dad) Let them help decide, and "pretend" to vote on it. My 5 year old loves that part. For time outs, when things are going well, discuss the rules of time out( staying in the spot, and the reason why time outs are important)and why even adults need time outs sometime to rethink how they are acting.

when they are yelling, turn it into a contest by seeing who can whisper the quietest, or who can quack like a duck the silliest. Something to diffuse it.

Regarding time outs, I know it is really frustrating but it sounds like they know that they can just get up and eventually you will just let them. so what has worked for me, it to keep putting them back and set a timer. Every time they get up, the timer is set again. No yelling or lecturing just back to time out. I know for my 5 year old if he gets up out of time out, then he is in his room on his bed in time out. If he yells from time out, his door gets shut, if he get off his bed, his favorite stuff animals are put away(not given away, but high up so he can't reach but can see, so he still wants it. )

good luck

You poor thing, I can imagine it's horrible and you would be at your wits end.

It's very hard for anyone else to comment on this, as we've got no idea what your parenting style is.

I can only really say that with punishment, you need to pick the punishment, and stick with it. No compromising, no barging. Nothing. If you say, 'do this or this will happen.' Then they have to do the whole job in it's entirety before they are off the hook.

Try seperating them? Different time out zones.

And as bad as this might sound, you may need to get a bit more extreme because they do seem to think they have it all over you, and the littlest one does need to be fed and nurtured.
You could make life miserable for them (by childrens standards). Take away ALL of their toys, books, tv, dvds. Start out with nothing, and when they act better, they get things back slowly.
We send my husbands 5yo daughter to bed with no dinner/books/songs if she's been naughty. They aren't going to waste away to a shadow with no food for one night, and when kids are hungry, they will do what you want (in my experience)
However, you might have a pair of proper ratbags :) I guess just keep trying different things until you find what makes them want to be better behaved for you.
I hope it all works out for you :)

There is a good book called "Have A New Kid By Friday" by Leman.
It is useful and not derogatory and has good applicable tips.
You can get it at Amazon or E-bay... or other book stores.

They also probably do that, because they "know" you are busy with 3 kids... and they outnumber you...

The 2 older ones.... need a talking to as well. WITH your Husband.. have a sit-down family "meeting" with your kids... not to just scold/lecture them... but to explain succinctly... what a "family" is... that MOMMY is their Mommy and they need to HELP... assign them chores (that is attainable for them) & post it up in the kitchen or somewhere. Have your Husband... echo what you say/need/expect... and you BOTH... tell the kids... what is expected of them. Your Husband... needs to be on the same page as you... etc.
Try that.

But the book is great. I have read it.
It is an easy read.

ALSO though, some kids NEED to have a regular 'schedule' of their day... and STRUCTURE. If not, they get into each other's hair... and yours. They need direction, structure, and a 'plan' about what you/they will be doing, daily.

MANY kids... are better behaved with others. For some reason.

all the best,
Susan

Been there! You have lost your credibility with them and the only way to get it back is to go hard-core. That's why SuperNanny works - because she's confident, consistent, ruthless, and the never for one second doubts her own authority. You need to introduce a new era of control. Personally, I had great luck with sticker charts. My kids would do anything for a couple of shiny stickers! We used the chart to make simple, every-day things like getting dressed, taking a bath, dinner, brushing teeth, etc... easier. And it worked. If they behaved, they got a sticker.

On the other hand, you may need something more comprehensive. Check out this book: "The Brat Stops Here" http://www.amazon.com/Brat-Stops-Here-Tantrums-Behavior/d... .... it's a full system for modifying bad behavior.