How Do I Get My 9-Year Old Daughter to Understand Privacy Issues?

My nine yr old son does the same thing and says he is scared, So I bought a baby monitor , just the listening kind, and told him to take it in the room with him when he is showering or getting dressed, and that way if he needs me I will hear him. It works, he closes the door and is doing much better. and sometimes he doesnt take it and still closes the door. He is just getting used to it now,and is not so scared. Good luck

For her bedroom, what about getting her a screen that she can get dressed behind, or to put in the doorway so that the door is open but you can't see in part of the room.

Another idea is to hang a curved curtain rod / drapes in a corner. Put a little bench in the corner and create a little dressing area like at the stores.

For the bathroom, the same thing. Put curtain in the doorway that will block a view, but she still feels safe.

M.

My 9 year old son does all of what you say your daughter does but it doesn't bother us. It sounds like it makes you uncomfortable but not her. She is only 9, a little girl. When she begins developing she will naturally close the door. Remember, she's not you. She obviously feels safe to do these things in the direct of view of her parents - that's only natural. Try not to disregard why she is scared, if she is cared, then she is scared. Telling her not be, doesn't work. And I have to ask why you fight with her to close the door when she showers? Do you have to watch? How to handle this? Just go with the flow and follow her lead. She is only 9, a little girl.

My 11 yo son does the same thing. It really doesn't bother me too much, but we now live with my mother and I constantly have to remind him. I just keep asking him, "Do you want your Grandmother to see you?" He's finally gotten the idea. Repetition, repetition, repetition. If it's a fear issue, I would just ask her to please pull the door partially closed so she's not in full view.
S.

How about if she closes it most of the way, and leaves it open a crack? Meanwhile, tell your husband if he doesn't like it, not to look in the door. She's scared, and she's still young. It won't be long before she'll be sure to close the door.

We don't really close doors at our house either. We all just don't care so much. Part of the reason your husband might be uncomfortable is because he is not her bio-dad. I was raised by my step-dad (who adopted me when I was very young) but he was uncomfortable with this same thing - lack of modesty. If you all could just try not to be uncomfortable about it and give her the comfort of having the doors open, I think she will naturally gravitate to being more private when she is just a little bit older. Nine really is still very young. I think my older daughter was about 12 when she started wanting privacy. But we never made a big deal of it either way.

I'm iwth Momma11 on this one. It sounds like it bothers you more than it does her. If the fighting continues, especially about her dressing, etc, she may develop some complex about her body and I would think you certainly would not want that to happen.

We don't think much about the doors around here. My now 15 yr old does close the door now and she didn't used to. She also did not like the shower in her room. SO, I found a clear shower curtian with pockets on it from Kohl's and she loves it because she can see through it. Of course no one is going to come in on her but I see her point of being in the shower and not seeing out.

We are open minded and personally if I am in the locker room, etc I don't go out of my way to cover up like I have body parts others don't. I've always taught my daughter to be proud of her body and embrace it. That doesn't mean run around naked......but not be so modest that she is the "different" one in the locker room, etc.

I can understand that she is scared. I like Veronica's suggestion of the baby monitor.

I do think it is important for her to get in the habit of closing the door.when she is not covered. Our daughter had a little classmate over for a play date(she was 12) !and my husband came to me and said," that little girl has the door open and she is on the potty!" It freaked him out. I went to the bathroom and said, "oh you forget to close the door?" She said "oh , yes, I always forget.."

Your daughter just needs to be aware that others have feelings of modesty, so she needs to figure out how she can feel safe with the door closed.

She may be ready for the book by American Girl called "The Care and Keeping of YOU", here's the link:

http://www.americangirlpublishing.com/advice/bodyandmind/...

This is a terrific book that I gave my daughter when she was nine. It helps explain the changes in her body and this may be a good starting point for you to discuss why it is important that she begin to be mindful of things that should be done in private, etc.

I do agree with leaving the door open a crack, or maybe find a cute screen for a corner in her room, but she's old enough to start learning that this is important.

I'm so glad that things have worked out for you and that your husband was able to adopt her. It's nice to be able to move on as a family, isn't it?! Good luck!

I am 32 years old, and still feel uncomfortable in closed rooms. It could be for many reasons. Just let her know that privacy is very important, and to just open the door back up once she is decent.

have a 9 year old daughter as well, same issues practically. Mine has no modesty what so ever, she also is easily frightened. Closed doors and privacy are tough things to find in my house with 2 cats that can open doors ( not kidding) and my toddler who thinks the bathroom is a party place. My best suggestion is to continue to have positive talks, gentle reminders, she probably is genuinely scared no matter how many years she has lived in the house. Maybe you can compromise for now and ask her to push the door part way closed instead of all the way shut? Lots of praise and reminders that she is getting older. As she matures, becomes more confident the fear will be something of the past. I am still trying to break my daughter of disrobing in the middle of a room. Honestly her dad and I still se her as a very young girl, but she has a much older brother, and i know she will be developing soon, so now is the time to try and instill healthy habits, it is tough when you still have a toddler in the house who thinks streaking after a bath is great fun. Hope through patience and positive reinforcement this becomes a non issue for you soon.
B.

i have a friend like that and she is like that to this day. She has claustrophobia issues. Even when we were in school, she would have to prop the bathroom door open with a shoe because she would just feel immediate panic if she heard it shut. That may be the same issue? maybe suggest to her she does not need to latch the door shut, but it at least needs to be closed enough that no one can see her naked?

I remember thsi issue coming up in my house when i was about 8-9years old, I also did not care whatsoever and was not at all modest in front of my father. My mother kept talking to me about it and i guess I just didn't understand what the fuss was all about. At that age i just didn't understand the difference between my 3 year old sister walking around the house naked to me so i ignored it. My suggestion would be to find a way to let her know why she needs to be more private that is age appropriate, if she understands it she may respond better.