How Do I Get My 4 Year Old to Stop Asking "Why?" Repeatedley.

Say, "That's a good question. What do YOU think?"

And I agree with BP that one day you will miss it, so try not to get mad. If you absolutely can't get him to stop, just calmly tell him, "Mommy can't answer any more questions right now."

You are allowed a break. I ask for quiet when I am driving so I can focus on the road. Sometimes I set a timer and ask for 5 minutes of quiet so my ears can rest.

I tell my kids I am better able to focus on them if I get some space sometimes.

Try it.

Best
F. B.

Try asking him to tell you why. I did that with one of my kids who just really wasn't listening to me when I explained something. Instead of repeating the answer, say to him "Johnny, what did Mommy tell you about why the sky is blue?" Then listen to him. Coach him and get him to repeat the answer. That makes it so that HE is answering the question instead of you. When he starts going into more detail with a question, welcome that. This means that he's using critical thinking and you want to encourage that.

A technique I found helped was to have a stenobook on hand, and to say: Okay, let's write that down in the Big Book of Questions and later on, you and I can go on the computer and look up the answers together. Then, chose a select number of the questions, and sit down with him and show him where the answers might be. It may seem silly, but this is a great of starting the process of teaching him about note taking and independent research (I did this as a child...but in the good old days of paper sources.)

I know how trying this can be, but right now you are The Loving Expert Who Has Every Answer and Is Totally Infalliable. As the mother of a 14 year old, I can tell you that one day you'll look back on those days and wish you had savored them more...cause it is just in a blink of an eye, that you are the dumbest person on the planet!

If he is using it as a way to connect with you in addition to curiosity, you could just ask him about what is important to him. 4 years old is more than 10 years removed from where I am now, but as I recall Thomas the Train was very important to our son. I could say: Now, tell me all about Percy...and our son would be off on 15 minutes of telling me every adventure Percy has had in the whole series.

I would always turn the question around and ask my kids what they thought the answer was. I got lots of cute responses and learned a lot about what my kids thought. It really inspired their creativity as well. We would also check out lots of nonfiction books at the library.

"Why?"

A friend of mine once said "I can only go three 'whys' deep." It's true. At some point, we would be explaining submolecular processes if the whys went on and on.

I used "well, why do YOU think...?" a lot during this time. Or "you may ask me two more questions and then I'm all done." And then, be firm about it. "oh, I"m all done. Time for you to go play." Or put on the timer and show him "we are having a Quiet Break for five/ten minutes (have reasonable expectations around this), so I'm going to practice not talking for that time." and then, don't talk. When he tries to engage, ignore him. If he continues, put your finger to your lips (quiet!) and point to the timer, then give no more attention.

With questions he seems particularly fixated on on topics he's repeatedly bringing up, write them down. "You are really curious about what those builders were doing. Let's find a book at the library on that." The children's section of the library usually has a section of 'easy facts' books which simply explain the world. I went through a season where I read a book on welding for about a month, nightly, to my son. Consider this a time to expand their little minds by providing rich language. Books are great because they offer illustrations. Be aware that they may only remember this information for a short time but that it's the act of providing information, looking at books, etc, that help kids develop into curious learners. It's a good habit to get into. "I don't know either, lets look that up!" A learning lifestyle means finding good source materials and videos for our kids and being responsive to their questions.

For what it's worth, yes, it drove me crazy at times too. Sometimes a quick "honey, I need to use the potty. Why don't you go play for a bit?" works wonders for a quick sanity break.

Oh wow! I remember those days!

It really is a phase, and it really is exhausting! It's great that you want to encourage questions, but it is also ok to need a break. I think I usually said I would answer one more question and then we needed to take a break and find something else to do. I also sometimes just said, "I don't know," hoping that make it stop.

I really is great to want to encourage your child to be inquisitive. But it's equally important to let them know that sometimes we need a break or for things to be quiet or just to have space to work without interruption. So taking a break is teaching an equally important lesson.

ETA - Dorris Day makes a good point. Sometimes it's a good idea to say, "Why do you think ... ?" Also, this is just the first of many, many, many ways your son and daughter will be different. I'm sure you already know it's best to try not to compare them. It's also best to try not to worry just because he is doing something differently than her.

It's a phase.

Stop answering. Say "I don't know" or "What do you think?" so that he is talking/thinking and not just nagging. You are repeating the answer, so at some point this isn't about his intellectual curiosity and just his desire to engage you all the time. If you can find picture books on the subject, great. If you can get him to phrase his request/questions to the children's librarian who will then direct him to some books on the subject, you'll deflect him a bit from you and also give him the beginning steps to investigation. Mommy doesn't have to know all the answers, she is not the repository of all facts known to humankind. But there are resources that cater to the intellectually curious.

If he isn't interested in the library or books, then he's not interested in the subject as much as he is in dominating your every waking moment. If you don't engage him, he will find something else to do. It will probably annoy you just as much, but at least it will be a change!!!

That was an exhausting phase! My ears still ring from the "Why".

The good news is that your little guy is bright and curious. He wonders, and he asks the expert on life: Mommy.

Answer what you can, take deep breaths, and try to smile when you say "no more questions for awhile sweetie."

And make a list of the questions. You'll love the memories one day.

It's ok to say 'I don't know' or 'That's a good question'.
Then you say 'let's look that up' and Google the answer.
It's also alright to ask him 'why' questions too.
Our son went through a phrase when he thought it was funny to repeat everything I said.
I started saying 'Mommy's always right' when ever he did this.
If he's asking again right after you told him an answer - then he's just playing with you - and it's hard not to get annoyed with that.
After you answer him once, tell him you already answered him and you're sorry he didn't listen to you the first time you explained it.
Then tell him his ears need some exercise and they need to practice listening.
He can be quiet for a time and you set a timer for 5 minutes to let him know when he can start talking again.
Repeat as needed.

Just shrug your shoulders and say I don't know. He'll move on to something else once you stop making such a big deal out of it.
Once he knows how to read/write and use the computer you can teach him the magic of google!

I had a "why" child, too, and when her questioning started to seem arbitrary or repetitive, I'd turn the tables on her. "Why do YOU think...?" Or if it was something that had already been covered recently, "You asked me that an hour ago. What do you remember about the answer I gave you?" Or (rarely) "I've already answered that, and I'm not going to do it again right now." Also try redirection if it seems that the constant questioning is really a quest for something to do. Good luck. Just keep telling yourself, this is a normal phase of development and it will pass (Hallelujah!)

I vote for the posts which suggested you turn it around and ask him why HE thinks something is a certain way. That lets him do the talking and encourages him to think reflectively too. The other thing I thought of is if it's a physical science question, you could do some searching for the answer online or in books--another good habit for him to develop! Finally, consider the suggestion that he might be using his "Why?" as a way to keep the conversation going. In that case, maybe you can point him towards another topic of conversation, ask him about something he experienced. Actually, I miss the questions now--we have a teen boy who sometimes does try to make conversation, however often is pretty quiet.

Welcome to the 4s. "why do I have to tie my shoe", "why is the sky blue", "why, why, why". I sometimes turned it around on them and said "why do you think the sky is blue"? The answers were always funny. But the "why" can turn into a "whiny why" and that is no good.

Just smile and say "well Bobby, why do you think"? My "why" kid is 23 and getting married next year. They do grow out of this phase eventually. I'm just thrilled he survived!

I think it's a phase all kids go through up to about 5. So see it out, answer as much as you can and start asking him "Why do you think?"

This is completely a normal part of development. I suggest you encourage him and then put him in a Pre-K class this fall so he can have activities that push him. Then he can get his why questions answered.

I'd give anything for your problem. My daughter is 12 and has her headphones on most of the time. When she was that age I'd simply say, "I don't know." Or repeat the question back to her for her to answer. Enjoy your sweet boy.

I babysat a little boy who was a Why child. It drove me up a wall...but I turned it around on him. He loved it because he got to research things and tell me about them. Anytime he asked me why, I answered to the best of my ability but added a why question back to him. It made him think.

Hi A.,

this is completely normal and should not be squelched. it does, however, need to be managed. I agree with all the suggestions below, especially the notebook/research idea.

I sometimes relied on "because that's how God made it." that would derail him at times. I miss this so much, the unbridled curiosity and fascination with everything around him. when you want to strangle him, we all have at one point or another, take him in your arms, hug him tight and tell him that you can start the conversation up again maybe at dinner or the next time you run him to the store. lastly, you can always ask him to ask his father...he may know different things than you do and he can get even more info.

this will be over soon enough.............try to enjoy it. :-) S.

"Mommy needs a little quiet time, sweetie."

I hope you get some good responses because my very intelligent 9 year old still asks why. It's not as bad as it was when she was your sons age but she still does it. I found the real reason she does it is because she likes to talk. So to keep the conversation going she will ask why even if she knows the answer to her own question.

Sometimes I will ask her a question and then keep asking her why. She gets mad at me and then I will tell her that she now sees how I feel. Try it. It doesn't help but it's my idea of fun for a few minutes.

Well, the bottom-line answer is: you wait until he gets over being 4 and moves on to 5 or 6.

But in the meantime, get him a few books, like "The Way Things Work" or other books about what's inside things. There are lots of them. Plenty of them will be good for young readers, with lots of diagrams. Here's a link to Amazon's most recommended "How Things Work books for kids": https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Books-Childrens-How-T...

You can tell him, after the 5th "why?" in a row, to go read his book for awhile.