S.,
I respectfully disagree with some of the others about not being able to get on a schedule. You can have a schedule and it will be liberating!
With my first I was going crazy at about 4 weeks, I didn't feel like I could get anything done, not even shower. Until I realized that If I get a routine, there can be consistency and prediction.
This is my favorite schedule.... (and My babies get on it right when they are born. And it always works, even for my friends that have tried it so I know it is not just genes). :)
Because it takes 2 1/2 to 3 hrs for babies digestion, I split the routine up in 2-1/2 to 3 hr increments. With the last night time feeding, right before I go to bed, a little closer then that.
During those 3 hr increments, he should Eat, "Play" for a bit and Nap
At four weeks he needs 7- 8 feedings in 24 hrs. (nursing) if he is eating more often then that, he is snacking and not getting the hind milk which has the most fat and nutrition.
Side note: to help him get the Hind milk, I start on one side and half way through (which is 5min for my babies) switch sides and then let them finish on the other until you know he is not eating anymore. (this could change lengths of time each nursing) the next time your nurse him, start on the side you ended on. He will get the hind milk and you wont be so lopsided:)
During the Play Time he needs a little interaction from you and also at least once a day some tummy time. And it is okay for floor time to not include you right there next to him. It is good for babies to experience life with out you holding them all the time. Making sure you are attentive to what he is needing and doing. Play time at 4 weeks last about (depending on how long of a nurser they are) 15-30 min. as soon as you notice him not engaging in eye contact, rubbing hands on face, yawing, fussing or any other sign that he is tired, then it is nap time.
However many feedings he gets is how many naps he should have. New babies, should get about 16-20 hrs of sleep in 24hrs. I know that seams like a lot, but they are growing fast and need it. Naps should be 1 1/2 to 2 hrs long with a long stretch at night that keeps gradually getting longer.
Mine sleep about 4 hrs at night right off and work up to 8 by about 2 months and 12hrs definitely by 6-8 months.
you will find this is such a natural process for them to sleep longer and longer and comes with little struggle.
For nap time, I like to have a routine right off the start, so I change the diaper, sing a song while I snuggle and kiss and love my baby and then I put them down to sleep. Some of my babies needed to cry a little first, some would just be quiet for a min and then cry out a few times and then sleep. One would whine soft and then cry loud and in the middle of crying fall asleep. They were all different.
But one thing that was the same, was, I knew I had just fed the baby, she wasn't hungry, she had just been loved and awake for a while, I just changed the diaper, so I knew she was tired. And with that, it made it easier for me to start doing other things that I needed to get done.
Like I mentioned above naps should be 1-1/2 to 2 hrs long, so if he is not napping at least that long, or is crying for a long time, try shorting the wake time, he might be over stimulated.
When he wakes from his nap, it is time to feed him. He will be hungry especially if it has been 2 1/2 to 3 hrs. And you start all over again:)
Do wake him up if he is sleeping longer then 3hrs and try to put him down earlier if it happens often. you want to try to stick close to your routine.
I start my routine from the first morning feeding (when they wake up on there own), This is the only time I don't wake them up in the first few months of life, to feed them. Also, the only time I don't do play time, is in the hrs that I would be sleeping. These two things are how they naturally lengthen their night time sleep.
So usually it is between 2-4 am. I nurse and put back in bed. doing that twice (3am and then 6am) in the morning hrs, with 8-9am being when I would incorporate the play time too.
Example: If he woke up at 2am I would feed him and put him back down, then let him wake on his own, probably around 5am, then wake him up and feed at 8am then 11am and 2pm, 5pm then 8pm and 10pm(or when I would be going to bed) then let him sleep naturally waking and start all over again, adjusting your schedule accordingly.
The three most important parts of this schedule are, that there are 2 1/2- 3 hours between when you start nursing to when you start nursing again.
That he is getting a nap in between feedings.
And you let him wake you up at night (I usually wait until they are fully awake crying. so that I am not the one disturbing their active sleep.)
Of course you know, as a mother what will work for you and what wont, keep in mind, that what ever you do, it just needs to be consistent. Babies do very well with consistency. So if you choose to nurse your baby before you put him down for a nap, just do that every time. You will find that once he is used to whatever you choose to do, he will become very predictable.
It is very liberating to have some predictability! So Good luck and if you need more details or help figuring out your schedule, just write me a message, I would be happy to help.
E.