How Do I Get My 3Yr. Old to Act like a "Big Girl"?

I highly recommend a book called "Parenting with Love & Logic for Early Childhood". Hope that helps!

B.,
I'm a veteran mom of 5 and a retired licensed daycare owner of 15 years. Over the years, I've tried many things, and as all children are different and respond to different re-actions from you, they all need one thing. Discipline. You should let her know that if she doent mind mama and daddy, that there are consequences. When she doesnt comply, be very consistant in enforcing those rules. If she throws a fit while doing her tasks, tell her there is consequences for that also. You do need to let her know that YOU are the one in charge and that she isnt allowed to behave that way. It is rebellion, in the early stages and at this point, might be controlled with a few simple fun games of doing her tasks, but she doesnt need to learn that doing her tasks always has to be fun. She just needs to learn to respect mommy and daddy and do what they say. What happens if you need her to do something that she doesnt want to do and it is a life-threatening situation? (and you dont have time to make it fun?) She needs to learn to mind immediately. That is for her own safety and your peace of mind. Three years old is old enough to learn simple obedience. Punishment or consequences dont have to be severe. Use time outs, sitting in a corner, take away a toy for the day, whatever works, and if all else fails, a little swat on the behind may be necessary. I'm surprised no one said this thus far. The bible tells us (in Prov. 22:15, Prov. 23:13, and especially in Prov. 29:15 "The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself shall bringeth his mother to shame")to correct our children by spanking them.
Everyone can give you their own thoughts and opinions, but none of these really matter. If you consider yourself a true Christian, you will lead your family according to God's Word and His direction. I've found this is the ONLY WAY to be happy! I think this is why we have so much confusion and unhappiness in our society today and why most children run amuck all throughout their lives and why public schools cant control kids.....lack of following God's work on correction.

Hope this helps.
S.

you have the answer with her age sometimes they will sometimes they wont you are the mom but realize she is not old enough to take care of everything herself and when she does do things praise her for her efforts, sometimes they need you to be mom and sometimes in our hurry in life we try to force them to grow up tooo fast because it makes our life easier, in truth she needs you to coddle her too and jealousy comes in when there is siblings you have to remember just because she is older she is still a baby in many ways to god bless

As much as we would like for out little ones to act older, it is not going to happen because they are children and we are adults. She has only 3.5 years of experience in this world and does not know what is good for her and what is not. You are the parent. If she refuses, then begin to dress her and make a game out of it. I know that you may be trying to get ready for work and time is ticking, but try being prepared before going to bed by having the clothes laid out. You also could do a star chart with a sticker for each item she puts on by her self. After a week of doing "mostly" what is expected, then reward her with some special time out with Mommy. A trip to the park...special ice-cream place...or even to watch a special movie together. In our fast paced society we forget that our children are just children. She doesn't understand punctuality and deadlines. We are their examples. Love and Patience mom! I know it's hard but you are not alone!!!! :-)

She's three. The requests may seem too big for her. I have one about the same age (just turned 4). I notice two things, 1) that I need to do the tasks with her. She really needs my presence. 2) I can in no way comment on how she does the jobs, only that she completed what was done. "Oh, look you put the silverware away. Thank you." (completely ignoring that they are in the wrong place.)

First of all you might do more reserch on what to expect and not expect a child this age to do. Another thing is I see she has a younger sibling, she may regress, she may see how he gets attention and she wants some too. You might also think about your routine do you have the same routine each day? Does she know whats going to happen next? Also, to get her to do something you want her to do you may have to get creative. If I tell my son to do something sometimes its like pulling teeth but if I change gears and go at it a diffrent wasy I can get him to do it. For example I tell my son to go potty and he won't, so instead I make it a game and have a race to the bathroom. Or when he won't pick up his toys we start counting the toys as he puts them up. I also praise him for his efferts. Good Luck!

I completely agree with Shelly R!! I'm suprised there was only one person who gave you the advice of discipline and consequences. Children crave boundaries and they like to see how far they can push/work you to get around them. I believe you should use natural consequences and and when that doesn't work then discipline comes in and ALWAYS try to be consistant. For example, when I tell my six year old daughter to get dressed and she "chooses" to disobey the natural consequence will be something along these lines. If it's in the morning getting ready for school then she would have to wear her pajamas if she wasn't dressed by the time it was time to run out the door. Or if she made us late because she chose to piddle around then I would walk her to the office to tell the aid the reason why she was late and ask for a tardy pass. Of course there have been a few times she has pushed this to the discipline side and then she lost privelages or got a swat for the disobedience. Proverbs said "to train a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." The rod is not spared in our house, now we don't always have to use it but our girls know we will swat them if they need it.
I always tell them the choice is this...or their options are this...and I will tell them what the consequences will be if they "choose" not to obey or do what I ask.
Shelly hit the nail on the head as to why children are running amuck in today, I couldn't have said it better myself! I guess I'm one of the old fashioned parents because if I catch, find out, or hear of my girls running amuck I will snatch them bald headed and they know it too!
I hope this helps you ease your frustration, know that we all at some point in time go through this with our kids and this too shall pass. Remember to be consistant even when it's hard and you are tired. Children know when you are tired :) smart little buggerz!
Many blessings to you!
A.

Try a little reverse psychology. Tell her, in a nice, playful voice, don't put your shirt on. As she starts, say, No, don't do it! Then, a big exaggeraed OOOHHHH, when she does. Then, do it again with WEll, don't put your pants on!!

Or, make it a challenge, I bet you can't put your own clothes on. She'll say Yes I can. Then, say, I don't think so. She'll say Yes I can! Then, you say, well, show me.

Or, make a game....lets see how many seconds it takes you to put your shirt on..ready, set go!! Then start counting. (Wow, you put your shirt on in 10 seconds! Lets see how long it takes to get your pants on!)

Hope this helps. I know how frustrating it can be when they are uncooperative!! Mine did the same thing at 3!

Good luck!
=) S.

Sounds like a typical 3 yr old to me! Sometimes when they hear urgency in your voice, they do the opposite of what you want. When you're in a hurry, they're like snails! When my (almost) 3 yr old starts a tantrum, I ignore her. After a couple of minutes she realizes she's not getting any attention and is my best friend again. If you're in a hurry, don't let her know it. Then maybe she won't turn into a statue!
Good luck!

Our DD can be the same way. We make it into a game...or sing a song with it that we've heard from like Dora "Clean-up, clean-up everybody clean-up let's work together and get the job done..." She'll start singing and we all make up words. Or I just hand it to her...."hey baby, will you put this in your shoe basket please." 9 out of 10 she'll say okay mom. If she ever says no, I tell okay I'll remember that. And when she asks for something I'll tell her but you didn't help with you know whatever. So she'll either do it right away or if I put it away I'll think of something for her to do. The big thing is don't whine to her about it too...like continuously telling her to do it. Because then you're being the same way. :) Crazy, I know, because no mom told you to do this and then it just whining back and forth. It's all a staget thing we think. And 3 yr olds are smart so she definitely will get it and "play" with mom as she is actually picking up or throwing the diaper for mommy. Best wishes!