How Do I Find Out If My Daughter Is Really Pregnant?

I would recommend waiting until you've talked with her about it. It does sound as though she's not telling the truth, but I would talk to her first. Be honest, but do it in a loving manner. I've honestly never heard of sending you the ultrasound. I received mine instantly.
Good luck with everything.

You have every right to be concerned - especially since she has claimed to be pregnant before. However, she is an adult so no one in the medical profession can give you any information about her.

I wouldn't have a shower for her right now. If she is not pregnant, you will be fostering a fantasy. If she is pregnant, you can put a shower together fairly quickly after she delivers.

I am most concerned about her mental health at this point. If she has a history of mental illness, please contact her provider. If she doesn't have a history, seek help from someone - an agency, a physician.

Please don't be offended at my next few comments. If you can't confirm a pregnancy and she comes home with a newborn baby, please be suspicious. She could very well fit the profile of an abductor. I know you care about your daughter and you don't want to see her hurt in any way but her behavior is concerning. Good Luck - I will be praying for both of you.

How long after her brother announced his wife's pregnancy did your daughter announce hers? Maybe her non-pregnancy is a way of crying out for some sort of attention. Is her father involved in her life a lot? Real important in a young ladies life!! I see it as a cry for help (if she is not pregnant). If all the fuss is over the new babies coming and she was being ignored...unintentionally, she might of fabricated it to get the same attention. I would ask her to lunch or dinner, find an area in her life that she is good at...Art, Music, Teaching Kids, Her job..etc and geniunally become involved and become interested in it. Ask questions about it. Do not talk about the pregnancy. Just ask how she is doing with her work and friends. Be apart of who she is. Give it a month. Don't talk to others about it and pass along the doubt that you might be having...it builds up too much ammo with everyone else and causing dissension with the people who love her the most and sets her up for distrust for many years to come. Give her a little space and a lot of attention. Even with the pregnancy. Eventually something will become of the pregnancy...maybe she lost the baby...etc. She is your daughter, you need to believe her and love her unconditionally...If she would like a shower....then give her one. I would plan it for a Spring shower...after mothers day and before father's day..she should be big enough to talk about how she is feeling with the pregnancy to other people herself. I would not talk to friends or family about how you think that she might be lying about it. It doesn't reflect on you...she is 29 years old...she is a grown-up...it will reflect on her. Eventually it will come out and she will have to own up to it...Don't bail her out. Comfort her and love her when it does. Do not criticize her for her actions...we are all human and have all made our own share of mistakes. She will learn from it. ON the flip-side...if she is pregnant and this is what she went through..no love and support and constant disbelief...how do you think she is going to feel then? I hope this helps...I'll be praying for you!!

H.

I would definitely ask her straight out but don't be defensive or angry, just concerned and understanding. It sounds to me like she's playing you. And if that's the case, ask her why she is doing it and what she expects to gain from it. Is it just for attention? Is she envious of others who are pregnant? If she is lying, tell her that nothing positive will come out of her behavior, it only builds resentment and negative feelings. I've never heard of ultrasound results being mailed either. The machine just spits them out when you're lying on the table. You may call Hutzel and just ask if they do mail them, just out of curiousity. I would not plan any shower until you see some solid proof since she's lied before. Maybe have her take a home pregnancy test while you are at her house and see what it says? That's the easiest way to do it.

Good Luck,

M C

Tell her you are not spending any money on her for a shower until you get to see some ultrasound pics. They do them all the time and give you copies to take home. If she is that far along, you can be sure she will have another scan taken and you should either go with her or insists on seeing the pic.

Hi D., wow this has got to be hard for you! If you really think she is lying about the pregnancy (it does sound fishy) I would talk to a professional about it. Like maybe a mental health doctor in your county. Just tell him/her the situation and see what they think would be a more proper way of going about it. I agree with some of the other people on here if for some reason you are wrong and she is not faking it she doesn't need the negativity about it. So maybe like other said, you should sit down with her and start planning a shower but explain that you would rather have it after baby arrives because you want to be sure of the sex. And i don't no be excited for her and about being a grandma just like you knew she really was prego. If she is due in April she must be making delivery plans, ask about them (good way to see if she is truthful) ask who if anyone she plans to be in the delivery rm, if she plans to do it drug free ect... I don't no this seems to be a hard one! I do strongly suggest seeking help from the county mental health!
good luck you and your daughter are in my prayers
B.

I apologize if this sounds harsh, I do feel for your daughter.

I am concerned, however, that if she is faking it - and especially so close to the due date - be concerned about her mental stability and keep in mind the growing number of women who are having their babies kidnapped shortly after or even while pregnant. It happens and is frequently after a faked pregnancy - the woman's lies lead her to desperation and she feels reuired to do unspeakable things.

Not that this is or will be the case with your daughter...but it is something I felt obligated to state.

As for HOW to find out - maybe you could hire someone unknown to her to follow her to her next appointment. My first impulse was to stop the toilet and wait till she uses it. This late in the game - even the water in it will not dilute the pregnancy hormone so much that it will not read on a pregnancy test.

More appropriate, I think, would be to put yourself into her shoes and to give her an out which will allow her to save face. If she is faking it, she is probably feeling unloved or unneeded and very scared. Find a way to approach the subject in a non threatening way. Tell her about any woman that you know that miscarried and how much you felt for her. That if any of your children went through such a situation - you would be there for them. Consider the possibility that she may have been (or thought she was) pregnant and is emotionally unable to accept the truth.

It sounds to me that she has an emotional issue going on to have already faked being pregnant and possibly doing it again. I can't begin to predict what the source of the issue is other than attention seeking as someone else mentioned.
As far as the baby shower, I would tell her that you want to wait to plan a shower after you know whether it is a boy or a girl so she can either show you ultrasound pictures or have a shower after the baby arrives. Either way she needs some proof. Her strange behavior with a pregnancy seems fishy to me as well.

I would talk to her straight out. If she's done this before, your feelings are probably right this time too. Also, if she is faking, there is so much more here then just her lying, so please be loving and understaninding. It sounds to me like she has an emottional problem that should be discussed in therapy, can you take her?

GL:)

I'm not sure how you find out other than asking her outright...but I can tell you that they absolutley give you the results of your ultra-sound in the office, with pictures and then your Dr. verbally gives you the results again at your next dr. apt. Other than a picture I've never been given anything in writing. The ultra sound is done at 18-20 months. If she is due in April, she should certainlly have the results by now.

I can't help you on the whole finding out thing, but Here is a thought on the baby shower thing... Since you don't know if the baby is a girl or boy, plan it for after the "birth". Due date in mid April? Plan it for end of May. Have it all out on paper. If there is an issue of needing attention then you are "supporting" her. just plan things like having it at a relatives house or at your house and wait till "after the baby comes to send out announcement/invitations". I once planned and threw a baby shower in 2 days so it can be done...(older sister was supposed to plan it for younger sisters baby, so I came in from out of state and asked when it was and got nothing but blank stares... lol) IF there is a baby, you've supported her in it and throw the party... If not, then your not out any $$. Go with her and have her set up a registry and all.
And the ultrasound, they give you copies of the pics. AND they tell you the result of prego test in office. If the dr hasn't called to find out why there arn't any appts being made for check ups then either the drs office is horrendous on paperwork, or she never saw a dr...
Maybe YOU going with her to a dr... Then you can see her reactions in office and maybe talk to the dr about the faking it thing. Either way, to have a mom who hasn't had any weight checks, monitoring or anything seems like IF there is a baby, she doesn't really have the maternal protection instinct. All moms I know WANT to hear the heart beat and see the ultrasound...

They do give you results in the office - and do give you an ultrasound photo to take home. They listen for the heartbeat at office visits, too.

I'd hold off planning the shower and make it very near the due date or plan a celebration party for after the baby arrives. (Although, the whole point of a shower is to get things to prepare for baby...)

Perhaps you could convince her to allow you to go with her to an appointment. Say you really want to hear the baby's heartbeat and feel that 'attachment'. (So basically, a way to prove it is true without calling her a liar and risk other issues.) Do you know her doctor (or who her doctor is)? Perhaps making a visit there would be appropriate. They probably can't/won't say anything but if you explain to them that she's saying she's pregnant...if she really isn't and they know that, perhaps they'll realize she needs help. I don't know.

I don't blame you for feeling this may not be a real pregnancy. She'll have an ultrasound about halfway through the pregnancy (they do one at 16-21 weeks in order to check measurements and all). Tell her you want to see the picture. Even if they mail it (as she claims, which I've NEVER heard of), she'll have it back at least a couple months before she's due and it will have her name on it and then you can make shower plans.

Best wishes...if she's not pregnant, she really needs help.