I have been babysitting my now 5 month old nephew-in-law for a few months and I hate it. I have already told his parents that I will stop come August, but I'm not sure I can make it until then. If I were to stop now they would have to find other care for just a few months because my brother-in-law plans on staying at home starting in August. I know that would be really stressful for them, and maybe impossible.
I have a 2 1/2 and 4 year old of my own. My 4 year old has been having total meltdowns almost everyday, and we all feel really tied down. I just can't get out and do things with my boys. Not only do we not have a car we can all fit in, but the baby tends to nap for only 20-30 minutes at a time every hour to hour and a half. I have tried getting him on a better schedule, but I can't take the crying.
I just feel trapped and completely stressed out. I know I only have a few more months to make it, but there are times I am in tears and ready to call my sister-in-law and ask if she can come picked the baby up because I get so stressed out. As soon as someone starts crying my stress levels go up. I just don't like babysitting, as much I want to help. ( I do get paid.) Anyway, the baby is crying and my 2 year old is trying to nap.
I have to say that I've taken Wendy B. advice and it has helped. My child sleeps better at night and takes longer naps than she did before. I can understand that is it hard. I hope you find a good solution.
Hi L.,
I'm gonna first say that no matter whos child it is wether it is yours or someone else's they will react to their surroundings and the people they are with.
2nd your daily routine and schedule can have a big impact on your day. If you are eating breakfast or lunch when they may be ready for some down time you are creating your own hell.
For the baby crying it could be for a couple of reasons: hunger, tired, stressed out like you (when you the care taker and the child are both stressed, that is a bad combination).
Your own children are reacting to their environment
also. So my advice get you and your kids on a good schedule and routine. Find maybe the baby needs more food, a schedule may work also because then he knows what is going to happen next. Come up with a set meal time for all kids, everyone goes down for nap at the sametime. It will take some effort on your part. You need to does this for you and your kids regardless of whether you continue to watch your nephew or not.
Here is my routine:
7:30 breakfast
8:00 am - 9:00 am free time
9:00 am circle time
9:30 am morning snack
10:00 am - 11:00 am outside morning playtime (weather permitting)
11:00 am - 11:30 am freetime and I'm fixing lunch
11:30 am -12:00 pm (noon) lunchtime
12:00 pm - 12:30 pm freetime and getting the kids down for nap
12:30 pm - 2:30 pm naptime
2:30 - 3:30 afternoon freetime
3:30 pm - 4:00 pm afternoon snack
4:00 pm - 5:00 pm getting ready to go home for the day.
Hope this helps amd gives you an idea. I would try to get the baby down around 9 am or so depending on what time he gets to your house and how long he has been up in the morning. W.
kind of curious, do you babysit in excelsior???
I feel for you. As a person who is accustomed to sucking it up and doing whatever it takes to make everyone around me happy, I can tell you this - stop it! August is a very long time to put up with this. It's really noble of you to put your nephew's family first in this, but it is your family that is suffering. It's not like your nephew's parents are going through cancer treatments or something horrible, so telling them you can no longer watch their baby is not going to turn their lives upside down. Just be honest and tell them that you love their son and he's a wonderful baby, but it's causing you to not be able to spend quality time with your own children - and that's important to you. Besides, at 5 months, switching babysitters is a bigger deal to the parents than it is to the baby. The baby will be fine. Even if they initially get upset with you, they'll get over it. I would give them two weeks to find another sitter. You could even help them find another sitter. Good luck!
Hi L.,
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this issue. Fortunately, this has never happened to me, but if I were you...be honest with your brother and sister-in-law. I know you would feel bad because it's only a few months, BUT it's only a few months for them to find other arrangements. My first thought is, Your kids comes FIRST! It's not fair for everyone to be unhappy and stressed out every day. It will only get harder if you don't make the change. August seems close, but in a situation like this, it may seem like forever. I think if you are honest with your family, they should understand and want their child to be in more of a "caregiver enviorment...a daycare of some sort. I'm sure you love the baby and that's not in question, but you must do what is best for yourself and your kids. Good luck and take care! V.
I personally think the baby deserves to be someplace where he's really wanted. Being with a stressed out caregiver (family or not) is just not right. I think you tell them you are not able to care properly for him period. He may also be reacting to your own frustrations over this.
Suzi
Poor thing. Does he cry when he's fed, diaper changed, burped etc... Does he cry when there is no reason to cry? If so maybe the doctor should be told. At 3 months old I noticed my 2nd son seemed unhappy. No matter what I did. Babies really shouldn't wine often for no reason. I took him to the doc and told him somehting is wrong. He had a double hernia. They just cause pain all the time. Surgery the next week and he was fine. I did feel a little guilty that I hadn't taken him in sooner.
Isn't it amazing how the same patience we have with our own kids is harder to find when it's someone else's? Don't get me wrong I think alot of folks feel this expecially when you feel helpless. And maybe you don't feel they appreciate you like they should. I would ask you to hang in there for the baby's sake. So he doesn't have to go through a new caretaker. But you do need to find some peace. Did you try all the techniques you might with your own. Do you have a DARK room for him to rest in, do you have a sound machine or a fan for noise etc...
Try to invite friends with you for outings and maybe they can help you hold the baby some. Praying for you,L..
Hang in there.
L. -
I know COMPLETELY where you are coming from. I have been babysitting for years and two occasions I had immediately regretted taking on the particular child. It can be VERY stressful so I know how you feel honestly. I think that you need to be honest with your family and tell them that while you are wishing you could help out that you aren't sure that the baby is getting the amount of attention he deserves with you having two young ones to chase on top of that. Maybe you all could problem solve and work something out or meet in the middle somehow. If you are so stressed you are miserable and crying then you obviously are not going to do well waiting until August. I think honesty is the best policy here. Maybe there is something that can be worked out. I hope all will work out for you all with this! God Bless!
I was in this same situation a few months ago and the best thing I did was flat out tell the mom that I simply couldn't do it. I was prepared for beyond the worst and it turned out to not be a big deal. You just gotta be honest!
I would be honest with your in-laws and tell them you can't wait until August. It really isn't fair for you and the kids to be in a high-level stress environment.
Just remember every day that goes by it will get easier because the baby will be getting older and easier to manage. The baby seems to be a little old to only sleep 20-30 minutes at a time. Try to find a really quiet place for him to sleep away from your kids, so you can have some down time. Put some white noise or lullaby music on to help drown out the noise. I hope you guys can work something out, because its not fair to you or any of the kids if you're not happy. Good luck.
