How Did U Get Interested in DH After Baby?

well, first of all sexy is a state of mind not a state of body.... so I would work on your self-image.

Sex is something that is a connection between two people. If you are emphasizing the body image part of it you are losing the intimacy part of it... and that's sad.
I don't want to only have sex with my husband when I'm at my best. I want to have sex with him to feel a connection, to share with him, to satisfy him and to allow him to satisfy me.

It sounds like you've lost that part of sex because you were so focused on getting (and staying) pregnant. That's natural, but it's a mindset you should change. Good sex can strengthen your bond as husband and wife which will, in turn, make you better parents... individually and as a parental team.

I like to start with communication. Share what you are feeling with your husband.... odds are he'll laugh at you. he doesn't care about your baby weight, your flabby whatever and your sleepless bags under your eyes. Let him see you as a woman...... and then maybe you'll start to see yourself as more than just a mom.

My best advice - give yourself a break and give Hubby some credit.

By this I mean, you have both committed to and have taken this journey to parenthood together. He knows your trials. He knows you had a big stretched out belly that now looks and feels flabby to you. He knows you are nursing and your boobs hurt. He knows. And if you think he doesn't? Then TALK to him and let him know. Once you open those lines of communication up, you will be more "in the mood".

But, I would not stop with just your physical concerns, talk about the emotional impacts too. Talk about being tired. Talk about feeling undesirable. Talk about the fear of being intimate and tell him you are scared it will hurt...

But then work to find solutions (besides giving him the chance to tell you just how beautiful you currently are) by suggesting you go walking together as a family (think exercise = more beautiful and bonding time = bonus!), or shower together and let him explore your new body or cuddle up and have a "date night" (or date hour, lol) after baby goes down and focus on being with each other. Then when you are ready set the mood one night and "go for it".

I have found that releasing your fears as well as talking about all this stuff flying around in your head helps bring the intimate part of the relationship back. Feeling secure and loved have always been the biggest step forward for me (and this is round 4!).

Lots of luck!!

PS: As suggested, I'd definitely keep and use lots of gel or intimate lube close by when you cross that bridge.

it's hard, isn't it?
don't have unrealistic expectations of yourself just yet. you probably won't be rarin' to go any time soon. rather than approach it in terms of how horny you are(n't), think about how nice it will be to focus some love on your husband. new babies are so all-absorbing that it's very, very normal for couples to neglect each other to focus on baby. it's a good reminder for you to put your husband back into the spotlight as your partner, lover, friend, and guy-who-needs-some-physical-contact-from-you. enjoy the closeness and the love, and soon enough the sparkle and pop will come back too.
you're not gross, mama! you just MADE A HUMAN!!!!
khairete
S.

Show him this post. I think he could find a way to let you know he still finds you desirable;)

I'm sure he loves you-you're the mother of his child-and you won't be flabby forever!

You know what? I didn't do it until I was READY. Yeah, it was longer then 6 weeks. BUT, my husband is not an animal or a caveman, and he understood.
Your husband can understand, too.

When I was ready, I was ready. It was a mutually enjoyable experience. I'm not saying to make him wait for months on end. I'm saying, there isn't a rule that you have to be ready at 6 weeks. It's not wrong if you aren't.

My sister in law gave me some good advice: It won't be fun the first time, but just get it over with. She was pretty right on. I was self conscious, worried about pain, and not overly in the mood, but worrying about it was way worse than the actuality of it. Keep in mind that breastfeeding messes with your hormones, which can cause dryness (sorry, hope that's not tmi). This is a phase, it'll pass and you'll find your groove again together. It just can take a bit, since baby really does change everything! Congratulations on your little one!

Your husband sounds like he is great shape but he didn't just have a baby either. Of course you are tired, you just had a baby and are up at night. Your husband loves you for you not for your great body. You can begin to exercise when you feel up to it. When you do go to do it for the first time, do it with the lights off. Take if slow, maybe just do what you are up for. He may be a bit scared to do it at first too. Just talk to him and I bet you can work something out!