How Can We Keep Our Son in His Bed???

My daughter used a gate and persistence. It took a while, but she never rewarded him for going to bed. She said it was not an achievement, but rather a necessary part of life! Kids start expecting rewards for everything, and we all know that isn't part of the adult life. What you start now is what you end up with in 10 or 15 years.

You started a bad trend taking him to bed with you, that is going to make this whole thing much more difficult to get under control. Lock his door or put up the gate. A gate worked for my boys. In the beginning they would cry at the door some, but soon they figured out it would do no good and started going to sleep when they were expected to.

Start some kind of reward system. With our daughter we did a sticker chart. One of the responsibilities you could put on there is "staying in own bed all night" or something like that. Then when the chart is full he gets some kind of prize or treat. Right now with our son we are doing it a little different. We have a giant marble jar in the kitchen and he has a smaller jar in his room. We have a chart listing good things like "going to bed nicely" or "cleaning up messes". If he does someting bad, like argues or hits, he gets marbles taken out of his har. He gets 10 marbles for going to bed nicely (and staying there). When the jar is full, he gets a reward. It takes about a week and a half for him to fill it. So, last week he filled it and he got a Spiderman costume. He's SO excited! Hope this helps!

If you really want him in his own bed, you do have to be consistent - which is so hard. But make sure the method you pick is one you are comfortable with. If you have to repeatedly enforce it, you will need to believe it's the right thing to do. At 4 I wonder if you can start by talking with him (not at bedtime, but during the day) about why he doesn't like to stay in his bed at night. Maybe it's the fear of dark or being alone etc. Then acknowledge his issue and come up with a solution together. I know some parents who have a sleeping bag/little bed by their bed and let the child know the rules if he comes into mommy/daddy's room - no waking them, just go to bed in your little bed. This may work as a transitional step-.... again, all about your comfort level with each option. I'm a "softie" and can't use the gate or doorknob, but know great parents who have and swear it works.... good luck I know it's exhausting physically and mentally!

We transitioned our son at around 16 months because he was climbing out of his crib. The first few days he would get up in the middle of the night freaking out (which is uncharacteristic of him) we would just go in, put him back in bed and stay for a few minutes until he calmed down. That worked.

It sounds like this is not a "transitional" thing but a "behavioral" thing. I'm not sure that putting a gate or door knob cover is going to work, I would think that he will still wig out, but will be contained to his room and wig out. I'm thinking that it is going to take a few days/weeks of disrupted sleep for you and hubby - going in, putting him in bed, walking out...keep doing that process. The second you give in and sleep with him or bring him to bed you have taught him that if he fights long enough he wins!

I say this as a mom of a VERY head strong little guy too! For us, we have to be VERY consistent...one mess up on our part can throw things off for weeks!

Good luck!

I'd go for the SuperNanny technique. It makes for a long few days (so I'd do it over a weekend if possible), but I think ultimately it's the best and cheapest route to go.

Yes, you can buy gates, door knob covers, a music machine, a new nightlight, cool bedsheets, etc. but ultimately he has to "get it" that he's not going to get anything out of night waking except a march back into his own bed without talking, a drink of water, an extra hug, etc.

I realize it sounds kind of harsh, to keep marching a small child back into their room and bed without any interaction with them. I look at it as my kids get enough hugs and kisses during the daytime, so at night, it's "Good night sweetheart." And that's IT.

Yes, I do practice what I preach. We go through this sometimes after vacations or times when our kids get off their normal routine. We nip it in the bud because we've tried the loving/cuddling approach and every thing else out there in the "sleep books".

I hope you find a solution that works for you. I know being severely sleep deprived is hard on the whole family.

I'm in the same boat as you...frustrating isn't it?!! I wouldn't put the door knob on the door though, that seems a little bit mean. It's like he's being locked in his room. Just think how scary that would be at that age(actually any age!). Good luck to you!! :)

my son has been in a toddler bed since he turned 2, only because he was climbing out of the crib and i was scared he was going to break something. He does good occasionally in his own bed. If i leave a fan on, or the radio on in his room he sleeps until i wake him up in the morning. if it is dead silent in his room he is in our bed by 11pm. i would try the gate thing but im pretty sure if he wants out he will get out and if he doesnt get out he may just sleep on the floor next to the gate. Good luck and let me know how you make out with everything!!!!

Well with the door knob cover OR the gate, he might just stand there and scream for you.
Does he have any books on CD he can listen to or kid's lullabye music you can put on repeat? maybe that WITH a gate would be a start.....or the Supernanny technique where you just take him back a zillion or two times (no talking!) until he gets it--usually 3-4 nights?