How Can I Make Dinner Time More Pleasent?

Beth H gave terrific advice.

I am just wondering what it is about having your husband there that makes them behave?

Whatever it is, maybe that's what you need to reproduce on the days he's not there. If he is strict about what they can get away with, then maybe you need to mimic that. If he is engaging them in animated conversation, maybe try that out. Whatever it is that they get from him, they may be craving from you too.

For a completely different plan of attack, you can try what I did with the kids I babysat: involve them in the grocery shopping, and have them decide what the family is having for dinner and have them help prepare it. Kids who are involved in the decision-making and preparation process will be more interested in the actual meal.

Let us know when you find what works!

K-
Stick to it girl its worth every agrivating moment. When we started it was a zoo. Now its just routine, I had my daughter getting up everynight to go to the bathroom. We have everyone go before and then help set the table and clear. Even my 2 year old helps. We had to seperate and move a few at first to get the right chemisty around the table. We take away desserts still but that is the worst I have to get to now. We had a few nights that my husband and I ate alone out of 5 kids. Stick to it, ask you kids how they would change it. If its a good idea maybe try it, it its having MD's everynight then not. My husband travels to, don't let that change maybe those night you can use to talk about a manner at the table and apply it for dad. Same rules apply as the house changes with other people in it, like sitters and friends.
A.

When your husband is away, make the children use the bathroom and wash their hands before dinner, if not they don't eat.

Tell them what mannerisms and behavior you expect from them.

If they play around or get goofy and aren't eating send them to their bedrooms for the night.

Make everyone use manners and behave at the table, if they don't want to eat-fine they don't have to but they need to sit nicely and quietly until everyone else has had a fair chance to finish.

Maybe start a tradition of something fun at the table. Every night everyone takes turns talking about their day or whatever they want to talk about.

Dear K B,
Beth gave outstanding advice, although I disagree about sending them to their rooms. I agree that you should begin the routine with them that first use the bathroom and wash their hands before coming to the table. As far as the laughing and joking around, perhaps remembering to say Grace before the meal, thanking your Lord for the food, etc. will help them become aware that meal time is a time to be thankful for having a full tummy and when they start to goof off, remove their plates from the table and explain to them that they have not appreciated what the your Lord has provided. That way, they have the chance to settle down and have their plates returned, but sending them to the room is just allowing them more time to play around. Be firm after dinner that the "kitchen is closed" and dont offer dessert or a bed time snack. I would never suggest to anyone to starve their kids, but I think that at they ages they are, a few nights of removing their plates for misbehavior after a prayer of thanks for the food may help them understand how important it is to remember their manners at the table.
Best of luck!
C. M.

I agree with Beth's advice. At our house it is just the kids and me, my son is 8 and my daughter is 6. They have to wash their hands to eat dinner and they need to stay at the table. If they get up, they must be finished. I use the "tummy to the table" rule as well otherwise my daughter tends to make a huge mess on the floor. I ask each of them about the best part of their day and we share this during dinner. It won't hurt them to miss a meal if they are acting inappropriate. This is one time that we are all together and I remind them that this is a very valuable time to me-getting to talk, eat and be together as a family.