Like alot of others said, make their plates first, so if there is anything Hot,it can cool off while you are dishing up your own, last, and you get to eat yours warm, theirs is cool like they probably like it - my kids do.BUT don't go give them theirs before you make yours, put all the plates on the table at once, and then call the kids to the table. All sit down and eat at the same time - you have to make taking care of yourself a priority.I eat what they eat, they eat what I eat, I make healthy foods, and if I am having a salad, ( they don't care for salad yet at 4 and 2) they usually get some steamed frozen veggies or raw cut up veggies, so I am not making separate meals, I don't even want to start into that path....from the start of solids they ate some variation of whatever I was making for the family - usually just ran part of our meal through the blender or thinned it with milk/water/applesauce.
Now, I cut all theirs up ahead of time - fast way to cut up veggies is one of those food choppers you push the top down on - pampered chef and Bed Beth and beyond have them - fast ways to cut sandwiches and pancakes are using a pizza cutter, or cookie cutters - fast cutting for meats and cooked veggies are Kitchen shears - Make sure you have an apple corer/slicer (the push down kind), too, for bananas and strawberries, they have special slicers, too,so you only have to make one pass, not multiple knife cuts, way easier than using your traditional knife and fork....these tools save me lots of time and they can all just go in the dishwasher.
As we sit and eat, if they finish before me, or want more of something, I tell them, as soon as mommy is done eating, I will get you more. OR I put a bowl/bag/box of something on the table that thye can snack on - when they were little - it was cheerios or gerber puffs, now it is grapes,baby carrot sticks, goldfish. Then when I am done I go get them seconds if they still need it, more drinks wait till mommy is done too - it teaches them patience and table manners.
I didn't see the addition to your question about leaving the milk and yogurt in the fridge till you need it to help with this, get them the insulated sippies or straw cups for their milk, and just put it out when the rest of the food goes out - for yogurt put their individual portion in a little bowl/cup on their plate leave the big container in the fridge, it won't get HOT or go bad in the time it takes to eat a meal. As for portions, give them a little and maybe put some extra on your plate, or prepare extra ( pre-cut it) and put it in a small serving bowl on the table, so you can give more if they want it, but it doesn't get slobbered all over, but not eaten and left for the garbage or dog . Also, if you have extra cut up, it can be put back in the fridge for the next meal or then next day. No foods are going to go bad in the time it takes to eat a meal, even with kids eating slowly at the table. I put all the food groups on the plate and let them eat in whatever order they want, the rule is that you have to eat all the different foods on the plate before you get more of any one type. They throw a fit about it at first around one and a half to 2 years old, but now my 4 year old self-regulates and usualy takes turns eating one bite of each type of food in rotation. They have to learn, and they have so little control in thier little lives, the order they eat their foods in is one little thing they can choose themselves.
Jessie