How Can I Get My 24 Month Old to Respond to Me More?

He sounds as if he's right on track. There is a great book called "Raising Great Kids" that may help you as you go forward.

Kids, as you know, are driven by their developmental stage. Learning a little more about it may help! The BEST to you!! L.

Jill,
First, a two year old is only think about himself! You must become a part of his world. He will not become a part of YOURS! His thinking is only about his world, his life, his toys, his books, himself. I am sure his teacher at his new daycare is an expert at knowing exactly what he wants as that IS HER JOB! So he thinks you should also knwo just what he wants. So what can a mother do to become a part of a two year old world. Develop a game that is fun for him but only played between the two of you. This can be a song game, a hiding and seek game or an activity game since you say he does not want to sit and read with you. Buy a ball and sit crossed legged or foot to foot(so the ball does not get away from you) and throw it back and forth to each other. Now you are telling him to respond to your, "Throw it to me" or "Roll it to me" He is learnig to respond to your commandments while he is having fun. I am sure you can think of many ways to carry this technique to other activities.

In daycare he is told, as a group, to do something, not as an individual so one on one cammandments may not be in his normal day. But I feel it is important for you to get that under control for his safety and for your enjoyment. Also, some children do not like to be rocked or read too. My second would not allow us to rock her, an activity we cherrished with our first and third child. It turned out she was VERY susceptable to motion sickness which we found out later on a long trip in the car. Nothing says fun like a vomitty car seat on the way to OHIO! Each child is different so study your child and learn what he is like and then taylor your mothering to need his unique needs. My offish motion sick child is now a woderful teacher. Instead of rocking her each night I would let her lay still on my bed and scratched her back or stroked her hair. She loves to come home from two states away and jump in my bed and say "Mom scratch my back!" I like it because I can not rock the other two anymore as they are big to hold. It is funny because I am close to them all but the ability to scratch her back or stroke her hair, for a 24 year old that is a pleasant activity for both of us years later. Touch is a universal gift of love. She never seems to tire of it and neither do I. I feel sorry for her future husband because she is spoiled in this way. In conclusion, find an activity that you TWO will enjoy and make it your own. Happy Mothering,
Ms C.

Maybe he since he is required to talk more at daycare, he wants to relax and regresses slightly in a familiar environment (i.e., at home). Children at this age are constantly switching from independent to dependent, trying to find their comfort zone. Another thing to consider--if he's really concentrating on social skills right now and doing well, he may not be giving as much attention to communication skills. Just keep talking to him; children learn a lot by example. If you really want him to speak, you must be persistent and consistent. Don't get upset, just talk in an even tone with love; and don't get him what he wants until he says the target word. The signing idea someone else suggested is a great one. In the Kindermusik classes I teach, we do some of that. You might find a class in your area at www.kindermusik.com. Enrolling in some kind of similar activity together will also help nurture the bond between you. If you find a book and read by yourself, I think he probably will come to you to share the reading experience. I don't believe you can "make" a toddler do anything; you have to find a way to make HIM want to do it. (This technique also works well with husbands.) Parenting is no picnic. :)

Jill,

You are a perceptive, present parent and your son is lucky to call you "Mommy". Yeah, the toe walking could be a sensory issue, but I just want to caution you to get too worked up about any developmental delays that have been mentioned on this board. That your boy is a social kid works well in his favor. Also, the burgeoning language skills too! So, what I am saying is yeah, bring this up with his pediatrician, but try not to get too worked up about anything just yet. And there is a lot of wisdom in the advice you got for having him "use his words".

That having been said, if it is found that your son is dealing with any sort of delay, I will tell you with absolute certainty that early intervention has the power to bring your son up to the level of his peers. It may take a little work with him, but I think that if you do need to work with a specialist, by the time this kid is ready to start school, he'll be well on his way.

So please do not worry yourself too much!

All my best to you.

E.

Have you talked to your pediatrician about it? He may have some speech delay issues and you might see more improvement if he worked with a speech therapist. Babies Can't Wait can do a free speech evaluation and potentially can offer free speech therapy as well.

Have you had his hearing checked? Could be worth checking. If nothing else, it would rule out that as a reason for his behavior.

Good job, Mom, for paying close attention to your son's development. It sounds like your son understands more than he can express to you. The good news is that he is very social with other kids and enjoys their company. If he was not social, then there would be more of a problem. You are doing a lot of the right things. For instance, you put him in daycare so that he will pick up speech and language skills from his peers and teachers. You also noticed that he responds to you better when you play with him and does not respond to you when you put pressure on him to say words. That tells you that you should have more direct playtime with him everyday and use a playful tone of voice when you want to engage him (watch his preschool teachers for examples). When reading books, give him his sense of independence by letting him choose which book to read and turning the pages while you "read" the book. By "read", I mean just describe the pictures or paraphrase the words. Your son may just be bored by hearing too many words that he just can't understand or absorb at once. Simple phrases and sentences work best for his age. Guide him to point out things by taking his hand and "pointing" it to different pictures or objects that you talk about. You can play a game of "Where is...?" and help him find it. You can also model it yourself by pointing to items in the book. Make sure his attention is on that item that you're talking about. The easiest way to engage him is to follow his lead. Talk about what his looking at or playing with at the moment. As a two-year-old, he is very egocentric so talk about what is in his world. Soon, he will venture outwards, and his world will blend nicely with yours. Finally, to ease the pressure of responding to you with words, give him a choice of two things to choose from; for example, "Do you want milk or peas?" And when he reaches for the milk, you say, "You want MILK. I like MILK too! Here's your MILK. Mmmmmmm, milk." That way you provide good modeling and repetition. Make sure he watches your mouth and really emphasize the "m" sound. Remember that its OKAY to give him the answer if he still can't give you the correct response, but it's important to give him the chance to respond first. He will absorb all of your words and be able to say it back to you one day. Even adults get frustrated when they don't know the answer to questions. That's why game shows give you the answer if the contestant gets stumped!

There is so much more that you can do. Go to: talkingchild.com and click on "Parent Resources" in the purple menu column on the left. Find "Speech Developmental Charts" and then find "Talking Tips".

I second the recommendation for an evaluation by Babies Can't Wait. Best of luck to you!

I would check w/child care to see if they treat him different than you. If they're anticipating his needs, and he doesn't have to talk, might be a problem there. Talk with his teacher. See what they're teaching him.

Get on his level, do things that are active and slip a little rhyme in while you're building blocks. No, he doesn't have time to sit still and read a book, let him turn the pages and recite mother goose poems you know. Find a book he likes and he will slow down long enough to hear a page eventually.

He's 24 months, 2 years old. Sounds normal to me. Development varies at such a great range at this time I wouldn't think much of it. Esp. if you can tie the tantrums to times when he could be hungry and/or sleepy. Two's have yet to attain impulse control. Good luck!

I am no diagnostician, but I used to teach a preschool class for children with developmental delays and autism related disorders. A lot of the symptoms you are describing in your son set off warning bells for me. The language delay, the toe walking, the pulling you to things he wants are all symptoms of developmental delays and/or an autism spectrum disorder.

Please talk to your pediatrician. He/she should give you information about contacting Babies Can't Wait. If he/she doesn't, please contact them yourself. Here is the website:

http://health.state.ga.us/programs/bcw/

This is a program funded by the state that provides services (such as occupational therapy, physical therapy, and speech therapy) at no cost to the family for children with developmental delays. There are no income level requirements, this is available to all families with children who, based on their evaluation, need services.

When you contact Babies Can't Wait, they will set up an evaluation of you child, and based on what they find, will come up with a program to address his issues. All services are provided by licensed therapists and are usually given in the child's home environment (or daycare if that is the case).

Best of luck to you! The earlier you address his issues the more success you will have in overcoming them.

Hi, Jill,
My youngest son was exactly the same way. It's how he approached life. Boys usually take longer to develop in those areas. My son never did like books and reading and he's 17 now. I'm an avid reader and wanted to share that with him. He loved to build things, take things apart, is an extraordinary athlete, mellow and wonderful...the teenager everyone wishes they had. My advice? Don't judge your parenting by what he is or isn't doing. You are doing so many things right. Consider using sign language. There is a book called Baby signs that is great. Also, Office Depot has cards with simple signs on them that he might like. It cuts the tantrumming down when he can't make you understand what he wants. It helped my son to have something with movement to learn speech. I guess because he's an athlete and how he relates to the world. I see you are a first-time mother. It's glorious and scary and you want to do everything right. James Dobson has a great book about raising boys that might be helpful. The big thing is finding out how boys are different than girls. Your son may never care for books very much. My son reads when necessary...and always sports books. Your son is being himself. He is probably ahead in gross motor skills and problem solving.