Jill,
Autism is such a hot-button topic these days. It seems like Moms are just assaulted right and left with the "what if's" and "what nows", etc., etc.
My first thought is to throw the comment about borderline autism out the window. Unless and until your boy is evaluated by a specialist qualified to diagnose any ASD, then do not worry yourself. Who was this person who, after seeing your son only twice, made this proclamation to you?
My daughter, Mia, was a late talker. Well, a babbler, for sure, along with every other kid, but as far as intelligible speech, that was a little late in coming. Her delays were expressive and receptive in nature. She went through about four months of Babies Can't Wait, and then she started preschool. The speech issues have since abated. I literally cannot shut this girl up, nor would I want to.
Socially, she's coming along very well. She's got some little playmates we've had playdates with, and I am highly encouraged. Now, I just need to learn to stay out of her way and try not to DO things for her. But that's on me, not on Mia.
I went through a considerable amount of stress and worry about the whole autism thing. I think because we (moms, dads, etc.) are assaulted by mentions of this disorder on the media, both written and spoken. It seems everywhere we turn, there is another mention of it. It's easy for it to become a bit of an obsession. When Mia wasn't talking in complete sentences along with others, I panicked. I panicked over just about every little thing she either did or did not do. I drove myself insane.
Here's how it is now: Mia is a delightful, quirky, funny, charismatic, sociable, curious, chatty, irritating, annoying, cuddly little 5-year old minx. According to her teachers, she is not autistic. According to her special ed teacher (she goes for speech work at the local elementary school), all this labelling that gets bandied about serves no purpose whatsoever, accept in the most severe cases. Early intervention, for whatever delays children deal with, is the magic bullet. It is this Early Intervention that can bring your child right into the realm of just about every other child he or she goes to school with.
Chances are, your son is going to be right in the middle of the pack soon enough. Please try to keep what I've said in mind.
All my best,
E.