How Can I Get My 2 1/2-Month-old to Nap Longer than 20 Minutes?

Your baby sounds like my first baby- only she slept exactly 39 minutes every time! She would sleep longer in a swing too, at least for a little while. I was so frustrated too, trying to get her to sleep longer. I would definitely keep trying to get your baby back to sleep after an hour of awake time, he does sound exhausted, but it's not your fault. My oldest is now almost 3, and she is a great sleeper now (in fact, at about 4 months old she started taking longer (1-2 hour) naps. But I definitely think it's related to the temperment/personality, in my opinion. Will he stay asleep for longer if you're holding him? Or if he's close to your body, like in a Moby wrap? If he will, my suggestion is to just hold him through his naps (or for at least an hour so he can get some rest) until he is about 4 months old, and then do some simple sleep training so that he can learn to fall back asleep on his own, in his bed, and you can have your life back. :) Hopefully he will get on a longer schedule by then, that's when my baby was able to do it. She is now a very spirited, smart, social little thing, and she just didn't want to "miss anything" by falling asleep. Even now she doesn't fall asleep very easily in the car or on the couch or floor or anything, she needs to be in her bed. It sounds like you're doing great, reading up on all the books. And you're right, they don't give us quite enough information on short-nappers!

At 12 weeks, there is no such thing as being spoiled. Before they are 6 months old, you pretty much need to respond to all their cries. Also, it can be damaging to them if you let them CIO before 6 months. They are physically and mentally not ready for it.

My daughter napped like that, too. My doctor said it was perfectly normal and that some babies are just cat nappers and will never take an actual nap. She told me to right down all the time she spent napping and add it up. If she took several 5-10 minute naps that added up to a full nap, it was fine. Unfortunately, it is VERY hard for us mommies, but it is perfectly normal.

I like your idea of trying a schedule. I did that with my little girl and it helped some. However, by setting a schedule, I let her set it in the sense that I spent a week observing her natural patterns and wrote them down (when she napped, when she ate, when she had a messy diaper, etc). Then after the week, I looked at all the similarities and made a schedule based off that. That helped me a little. That way, I could plan out my trips and chores a little better. While is was still very hard and some days didn't go according to schedule (babies have minds of their own! ^_^) it still helped save my sanity knowing that in an hour I would have 10-20 minutes to either relax or clean the mess that was driving me insane.

Good luck, momma! Hang in there! I know how hard it can be, but it sounds like you are already doing a great job!

Nope. Your baby isn't spoiled, there's absolutely no such thing. That's something people made up to make themselves feel better about ignoring their babies' needs :P
Get the book "The Baby Whisperer". It teaches how to get a baby to stay asleep longer without forcing them to scream themselves to sleep which is proven to be damaging to the brain. She's very compassionate and helps you learn to respond to your infant's needs instead of ignore them:)
Also remember that routines and sleep change ALL THE TIME, so the day you think you have it all worked out, it will just change and you'll have to learn to adapt all over again.

It's a phase. And it sucks. That time period of feeling like your day consists of putting someone to sleep is still burned into my memories. LOL My daughter (now 4.5 yrs) used to take 3 naps a day that each lasted exactly 42 minutes. The morning nap finally started getting longer at about 9 months. In fact, by 11 months she was down to one nap a day. Probably not what you wanted to hear. I'm not comfortable with CIO at any age so I won't recommend it. What I did was try to put her down about 2 hours after she was awake. It sounds like your little one has a shorter awake time though.

Then I had my son and he went through a phase where he would nap for 20-30 minutes at a time too. Putting him to sleep 5 times a day while I had my 2.5 year old to care for and try to get down for her daily naps wasn't much fun either! So I know where you're coming from! BTW, it's much better when they nap short and do the bulk of their sleeping at night. Having had a poor night sleeper (my daughter), I can live with short naps as long as I get some decent stretches at night!!

Anyway, with my son, I nursed him to sleep. If he woke early then I let him get up and we went about our business until another couple hours passed and then I put him down again. I still spent a lot of time putting him to sleep, but I wasn't ignoring my daughter as much as I could have been. Eventually, they get tired enough that those naps start to lengthen.

If he's going to nap short regardless, then you might want to take the opportunity to lose the swaddle and pacifier and bouncing. Just make your life easier and nurse him to sleep. When the swing and swaddle didn't make a difference anymore with both my kids I stopped. When they started napping longer again, they only had one "crutch." I still use white noise. With a noisy older sister and yappy dogs, the white noise helps.

Also, you could try wearing him in an Ergo baby carrier. A lot of babies love this and can sleep this way. It's a super comfy hands free carrier with wide shoulder straps and the baby basically faces you. When my daughter was really little, my husband and I would go to the mall and walk around until she fell asleep and spend one of her naps there.

So you can see what it is:
http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/

Hi J., If I can give you some old school advice, it's just advice you don't have to take it, A fussy baby does not always mean they are colic, my first born was very fussy and was not colic. At the advice of my m other who was a mother of 5 told me to give my baby's rice cereal before bed time when they were six weeks old. This did help them sleep through the night starting at 6 weeks old. Baby's do not sleep as well on their backs as they do on their stomachs. In my daycare the baby's who slept on their stomachs did not sleep for more than 15 to 20 minutes at a time, the ones who were still slept on their stomachs any where from an hour to 3 hours. it seems like every generation of baby's the rules change, we were told in the 80's never sleep baby;s on their backs, never put them in bed bed with us. Envolved your 2 year old in the care of your baby, that way you are able to keep watch over them both of them. it's actually good for them to cry a little, it keeps fluid out of their lungs. i always rocked my baby's to sleep, I didn't want them going to sleep with anything that was really habit forming, breast, bottle, pacifire, and once i had them to sleep I didn't run and get them up e every time they cried, so that did not become a habit either. I hope some of this helped, it will get easier I did it with 3 little ones. J.

It is a phrase. My both 3 years old and 3 month baby did the same thing. It will get better. Your baby did so well at night.

Btw, it is too early for 2 and half month old to do the sleep training such as Cry-it-out. You may start like around 4-5 months. I did it for my son when he was 5 months old, mainly for his night time sleeping.

Wow, your baby is a great night sleeper! I remember my son going through a short nap phase and I really worried about it, but eventually his naps became longer. I also remember reading Wiessbluth during this phase and it driving me crazy because I was convinced I was doing something wrong. I think the phase lasted about a month.

I want you to know my son napped every 2 hours until he was 7 mos old. And at 3 mos I found out he had an intolerance to the dairy that was showing up in my breastmilk which made him act colicky. I was CONVINCED he needed more sleep , but what I needed to do was stop eating diary. I was constantly trying to soothe him to sleep! Finally I checked in with my Dr and we figured out what the real problem was.

You are clearly doing the best you can. I don't think you have spoiled your son. Maybe you can review what is going on with your Dr. Not to scare you, but perhaps something else is agitating him and making it hard to sleep.

In the end, I came to like Weissbluth. Remember that he says night sleep has to consolidate before day sleep can fall into place. Your baby is still so young, and think you are on the way to a great napper considering that the night sleep is lining up so well!

Hope you find encouragement in the thoughts I had to offer,

Hi!
I don't think your baby is spoiled. Some babies are just born fussier due to many reasons, but the first that pops in my head beyond the colic is he actually needs you mer, not less. Have you considered "wearing" him?

I have a friend who had a very needy 7 year old before she had her second son. Well, she couldn't very well ignore the baby so she would use a sling and put the baby on her back. He was always so happy. He was either asleep or very observant of the world. she even played baseball (with all newspaper gear and a very small field) with the baby on her back. He was always accessible so she could attend to his neds right away.

Since you are home anyway, this may not be a huge stretch for you. Attatchment parenting is truly rewarding and I think more convenient as you don't have to worry about keeping an ear out for the baby. Plus, your older son gets to have more of your attention. Babies cannot be spoiled, they are built to learn trust at that age. If their needs are not met, they don't learn to trust. If this doesn't help you can always try something else and still have built more of a bond with your child.

sounds like you have good mommy insticts too, so follow them. Good luck.

Hi J., do you swaddle him?

This is pretty normal. It takes babies a few months to adjust to the world and develop a routine.

Whatever you do, keep feeding on demand and allowing him to sleep when he wants. When he is about 4 months old, you'll be able to see some semblance of a "rhythm" to his day, and you can encourage naps around the same time every day. This is what we did with my daughter - I am not big on "schedules" but she had her routine and I used that as a guide.

It's impossible for a baby so young to be spoiled – all his behaviors for his first 8-10 months revolve around his actual needs and sensations. It sounds like his discomforts keep waking him and are spreading you thin.

Some babies are not good sleepers, and need all the help they can get. My grandson was one of these. It seemed that his little body was just too filled with strong sensations, and his little mind was too active, to allow long naps or night sleeping. None of that was his fault, and he did gradually outgrow it.

Have you tried wearing him during the day? It would leave more time and free hands for you to do the other things. Many babies sleep much better carried in a sling, especially during the "Fourth Trimester" (google this for information). A white noise machine is also helpful for many babies, but often needs to be louder than what the parents are comfortable with. And more sleep usually seems to make more sleep possible.