How Are You Intimate When You Co Sleep?

You are too funny. You have to get creative. Put him in a pack-n-play in front of a DVD works, or leave him in the bed and go in the guest room when he sleeps.

You have a legitimate question - here's just one perspective from one family who has coslept with 2 babies and who managed to conceive the 2nd baby while cosleeping with the 1st (and no, we didn't do anything in the same room as our 1st!). Our oldest is 3.5 yrs old, co-slept w/ us until about 2 or 2.5 yrs old, and transitioned to own room, own bed gradually over a couple of months with no problems. Our youngest, now 9 months old, is currently sleeping in our room, does naps and part of the night in his crib, part of the night in our bed, perhaps part of the early morning in his crib again. It's very fluid, flexible.

So it's important to note that co-sleeping can take many different forms - here are just a few of the many possibilities:
* baby in same room in own crib full-time
* baby in adult bed full-time
* baby in same room in side-car bed attached to adult bed
* baby in same room part-time in crib, part-time in adult bed
* baby in separate room part-time, in adult bed part-time

So, within that short & incomplete list, there are lots of opportunities for intimacy/sex!

Also, your question assumes that the only way to have sex is in the adult bed, in the adult bedroom, at night/early morning when the children are sleeping. ;) "Where there's a will, there's a way!" We have a queen bed in one room, a king in our bedroom, a futon in another room that goes quickly from couch to bed, and a lovely shower (and the bonus of white noise thanks to the falling water droplets!). The children visit with grandparents and go for playdates to friends' houses, nap well in one room while other rooms are available, hang out with grandparents downstairs in our house while mom & dad "get some things done" upstairs, all of which leave time and space available for intimacy at night, in the morning, during the day, etc.

Bottom line - I'd argue that cosleeping actually can improve a couple's sex life if approached in a creative way! While sex can still certainly happen in the parents' bed, there are no rules saying that's the *only* option, and it's kind of nice to have to think outside the box sometimes. Keeps things new and interesting! :)

Somewhere other than where the baby sleeps! Our daughter co-sleeps in a side car and at 8 months usually goes to bed way before her dad and I do.
We take advantage of any free time during naps or when she's first down for the night (and sleeps the heaviest) to be intimate. It's actually the best sex we've ever had as a couple (and we've been together 8 years!)

I love all the responses here so far! I was wondering the same thing after I read about a study that showed that couples have less sex when they do the co-sleeping thing. (It also said that couples with televisions in their bedrooms have less sex too!) So, in a battle not to become a statistic, my husband and I have had our baby sleeping in her crib since 6 weeks, unless she's having a fussy night, then we'll bring her in with us. But, when she wakes for her 5-6am feeding, we'll usually keep her in bed with us for the morning, which is a nice compromise. We tried the whole pack & play near the bed idea, but it didn't work for us because I just couldn't get in the mood with baby noises nearby. My mom instincts overwhelmed my wife instincts every time. :)

I have three children...20, 16 and 13....and all three co-slept, in our bed, for between 2 and 3 years. The trick is to have sex somewhere else other than the bed, or during nap time, when you aren't sleeping with them. We enjoyed our intimate time, and we also enjoyed having the children sleeping with us.

The bed isn't the only place!!

We also made love earlier in the day, or we'd put baby to bed in the crib and spent some alone time, and went to get them afterwards...

Get creative! And congratulations on one of the most loving things to do with your baby - cosleep!

You know, I've wondered the exact same question! I don't know why anyone would give up their bed and the few hours of decent sleep they can get and have less intimacy with their husband to have one less minute getting in and out of bed to get the baby. That's why they invented baby monitors, folks! I'd be so worried that I might smother the child (which does happen, let's face it), or that they might roll out of bed (which also does happen-my neighbors kid fell out of bed at least twice), and I would be waking up all the time, plus having to go through the trouble of weaning the child, that it would definitely not be worth it for me. They start rolling over around 4 months, too, so I don't understand how people can keep their kids in their bed past then, either. My daughter moves all over her crib, she would never stay in one place the whole night.

I am sick to death of everyone posting "how do I get my kid to sleep in his own bed?". Just put them there! It's not that hard, especially if you do it from the beginning so they have an attachment to their own room and not their parent's bed! Alright, I'll get down off my soap box, but thanks for asking this question. Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings, but it had to be said.

We have sex during the day, put the kids in front of a movie, and lock them out. If we want to have sex at night and the kids are in our bed, we do it in another room of the house. I also have an Amby Baby bed hanging in our room. Sometimes I will put the baby in that until we are ready to actually go to sleep. Usually, I'm too exhausted at night to want sex though.

We use to put the baby in the swing in our room when she was younger. Quite honestly, when she was younger, we could just have sex with her right there in the bed with us. She would lay on her back and happily play with her feet. She's 8 months now and crawling so that wouldn't work. We've also put her on the floor in our room with some toys.

i have a five month old, and we started out with him sleeping in our bed full-time. (i had a c-section and it was much easier than getting out of bed to nurse.) but when he was about two and a half months old, we moved him to a bassinet. he still stays in our room, now in a crib, and sleeps partly in our bed as well. so long as he's asleep, we don't have much of a problem being intimate. we're just very lucky he's a sound sleeper! what i've read about it, he's far too young to be 'mentally damaged' by hearing (or even seeing) us. but if we know he's awake, we just don't try anything. sometimes it can be a little frustrating, but it is ALWAYS worth the wait!;)

I also have to respond......I have a friend who has a almost 5 year old and a new little 2 month old.......and now BOTH kids sleep in bed with them......neither one of the kids have their own bedroom...her daughter (the 5 yr old) has her toddler bed in mommy's room and the crib is also set up in the parents room. I asked her one day ummmmmmm how did you get pregnant with your son and she said we had sex on the couch!!!!!!!!! So I guess there really isn't any private time its hurry and get done.....thats fun haha

I'm glad you asked this question because I've always wondered this as well...

T.