How Are You Dealing with Aging?

I am 41 and haven't minded aging so far. Yes, I have more health issues and yes, my skin and hair aren't what they used to be. But I just don't sweat the small stuff anymore. To me, that's how I want to grow old gracefully.

I wear makeup and color my hair only because I feel better that way, not to make any statement to the world. I changed to glasses this year because I need progressive lenses now ... big deal. In my 20s, it would have seemed like a catastrophe, but now I view it as a way to see better and no biggie.

I eat healthier and exercise more than I used to to maintain my health. When I was younger, the goal would have been to look better.

My only complaint is that my memory isn't what it used to be, but that's more due to all of the years behind me than anything. We met with a new financial planner this morning and he was someone I knew in college in 1988. Both of us struggled to remember exactly how we knew each other back then.

I am with you on not wanting to be youth-obsessed. My goal is to not be one of those women who tries too hard. I'm good with being just the age I am at the time.

I'm in my early 40's and yes, the compliments are much fewer and far between. I also don't spend a ton of time getting ready but I do like to look nice. I have noticed some age spots - I hate those.

So, I have been using some of the anti-aging face creams (L'Oreal Anti-Aging Night Cream) but I don't really know if it's doing anything. Maybe my spots would be worse if I didn't use it? Who knows.

I do pay more attention to my skin than I used to and I do dye the gray out of my hair and oh, yes, the "moustache" gets taken care of on a much more regular basis!

I don't know if I'm aging "gracefully" but doing my best not to look too old too fast. It's a constant battle!

Hmmmm,

Last week it took me 10 minutes to thread a needle to sew a button on my daughter's coat. Why? Cuz I couldn't really SEE it. That is new for me, and I don't like it, not one bit.

Next year, I will have TWO boys away at college. THIS I like very much. It is evidence of a job well done. I am proud, I am excited for them, it's like a PAYCHECK.

Last night, I was blobbing on the couch with my daughter (almost 15 now), watching Top Gear UK (a family fave). We were both barefoot. I was looking at our feet, almost identical, except mine are OLD and hers are young and pretty. I DO like that I passed my pretty little feet down to my daughter, I do NOT like that I no longer have pretty little feet.

I read a question from some young mom who is freaking out about some teeny little parenting issue....I LIKE it very much that I already KNOW it's gonna be ok, I've already been there, I know things tend to work themselves out and the kids are all right even when you have to quit nursing at 2 months or they will only eat mac and cheese and nothing else when they're 2, and some other kid is bugging them on the playground. I LIKE knowing some stuff.

I found a gray eyebrow last year, and THAT pissed me off.

I have not really equated youth with physical attractiveness. I've always prefered older men. My guy is 11 yrs older than me, nearly 56. Where he is at physically RIGHT NOW is very sexy. I've known him since he was 27, of COURSE I thought he was crazy sexy THEN too, since I was only 16. However he is experiencing some issues with memory, THAT I do not like, not one bit.

Maybe together we could remember, getting OLDER is WAAAAY better than the alternative, which is death.

But, yeah, I'm right there with ya, Sista!

:)

I think aging gracefully is taking care of your health, skin and following a healthy diet with an active lifestyle. Put some effort into looking nice and presentable, not just like you rolled out of bed. But no need to wear heels everyday either. So balance...moderation. I think that's the key.

Let's see, I am 64 and I try to watch what I eat in moderation. I will never wear a bikini again but that is okay, I do like the one piece suits better. My tummy has spread a bit because of age and is not as firm as it once was but is fine in jeans. My thighs are a bit larger but I can still fit into my jeans without them screaming "help me". My natural blondes (grey) is being tamed this weekend with a nice brown.

Throughout my life I have always had a youthful spin on life and that makes me feel a bit younger. I work with college students and have learned a lot of what not to wear at any time of the day or year. Just because it is in fashion does not mean it is meant for your body shape/size.

Just keep a positive spin on life and all will be fine. Know that you dress the body you have and don't worry about the mod fashion but do conservative styles that you can dress up or down. Stay with basic colors that become your skin tone. Update your wardrobe with belts and scarves and a few new bracelets. Keep the clothes altered and clean and you should be ready to go.

Hubby still loves me and he says I look good quite often going to work. I do wear glasses that blend in and don't stand out like silver or shimmering neon colors.

I love my life and am happy with what I have and how I have come as far as I have in the years that I have. It has to to with attitude and positive thoughts to get through the ups and downs of life. It's life -- fine wine and you mellow with age and things don't bother you like they did when you were younger. No more keeping up with the Joneses just being yourself.

That's my spin on getting older.

The other S.

PS Being able to say NO and not let it bother you.

Aging gracefully is not trying to be something you are not. It has nothing to do with dying your hair or staying in shape.

Being less than graceful is plastic surgery, wearing your kids clothes, hanging out socially with your kids.

I guess being graceful is being okay in your skin. What is funny to me is that comfort tends to make you appear younger.

Oh even better being less than graceful is making changes for others and not yourself. :)

Great Q!
I'm 48, so I hear ya about the "before" images in ads! LOL

I think the secret is to continue to get your hair done, dress well (and that means appropriate for your age--not FRUMPY!), and exercise & live a healthy lifestyle so you FEEL good. I think if you feel good, you look healthy and healthy always looks good right?

How AMAZING is Jamie Lee Curtis?

I wouldn't trade my life experience for O. less wrinkle.

My amazing mom, who is mid-70's, says she always "feels" about 35 INSIDE.

I have survived aging with shots of Clairol #40 w/caramel highlights every 6-8 weeks.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what Jo W said.

I will be 50 in March and love my life and who I am.

-I do highlight my hair, but have since I was in my 20's.
-I don't wear make up every day.
-I don't wear heels. I go for comfort over cute when it comes to shoes. *Too many years working 12-14 hour nursing shifts.
-The last time I got a pedicure, I ended up with a fungal infection. My health is more important to me than what others think of my toes!
-I haven't worn a bikini since I was in my early 20's. Wiping out water skiing and the top and bottom went in opposite directions fixed that! ;)

But what I do have is:
-A loving, stable marriage with a man who loves me and told me 25 years ago he's looking forward to getting old with me, chin hairs and all!
-2 great kids that I'm very proud of.
-A TON of friends!
-2 dogs who don't care if I feed them in my slippers.
-My health
-roof over my head and food in the fridge.

I don't watch any of those shows. Well, I don't watch much TV at all. And as far as the celebrities that look so good as they age. . . . they have nannies, cooks, someone to pay their bills, house keepers to take out their trash, people to do their laundry, clean the house, etc. so they have the time and energy to spend the hours and hours in the gym and spa.

Love you for you!

I am an older mom, had my DD when I was almost 45 (surprise!), so I'm definitely the oldest mom in the class. But most people think I'm younger than my age, here's what I do:

Lift weights 2-3x per week, this really does help with arms not jiggling and keeps everything firm
Eat anti-inflammatory foods and take fish oils supplement
(don't eat white flour sugar, etc.)
Eat tons of vegetable especially greens like Kale or Collard and colorful ones like carrots, sweet potatoes
I walk 2 miles a day and between the weight lifting and walking and vegetables, I weigh only 5lbs more than I did in high school
Not gaining weight really does help to not looking older
I also have used the Dr, Roller on my skin, it helps to regenerate collagen
see here:

http://www.amazon.com/SKINCARE-Quality-Craftsmanship-Dr-S...

Oh my gosh - I'm so glad to hear I'm not alone!!! I'm not all that vain either but since I feel relatively young for my age (52) I want to look as good as I feel when I look in the mirror. I do color my hair once in awhile and I do wear makeup because it makes me feel good, especially when I go out. My problem is my legs are starting to "look" old and I hate it!!! I'm thin so I don't need to lose weight but I want them to look a little better than they do. I recently started exercising a little; nothing too crazy, to get them back in shape. I've only been doing it a short time but I already feel even better than I already did!!

As for your question, no, I don't have a problem with aging (after all, what's the alternative!); but be darned if I'm giving in to it!!! Aging gracefully, to me, is just always looking my best and doing what I can to feel good. I have no intention of considering any type of surgery; especially if it makes me unrecognizable!!! (Kenny Rogers and Joan Rivers come to mind!) I intend to go out with the same unaltered-parts I came in with!!! ha! ha!

Good question!!

Okay, I'm a young 'un, but I often think about this.

My MIL is my 'aging gracefully' idol. She is 70-something but she's perfectly content with the way her body's changed over the decades, has embraced aging, I have never once heard her complain about it, and she still has the heart and soul of a child!!

I'm only 28, and had my first child at 19. I battled my inner demons that came along with those first laugh lines, forehead wrinkles, gray hairs (yep, at 28, I blame the kids!), stretch marks from 3 pregnancies, saggy boobs (thanks again, kids), and cellulite.

Aside from my belly (which I'm hoping to get fixed next year for medical issues associated with it), I've learned that, you know what? These are my battle wounds! They show I'm a mommy, ergo, someone's hero. Everyone deals with this. I'd rather be curvy and imperfect and happy in my own skin, than to be one of those miserable people who waste their lives fighting the signs of aging. I'm still working on it, but I've come a long way!! My kids don't care how I look, and there's are the only opinions that truly matter (sorry hubby, but you come second!)... and he thinks I'm still hot too ;)

It also helps that my husband is 12 years older than me, my best friends are too, so I won't even be 30 and hanging out with all these 40 year olds! I see how much fun they had in their 30's, so I'm really looking forward to them! I predict I'll feel the same way about my 40's, and so on, based on their attitudes.

So far, it looks like fun!! To hell with looks, they fade for everyone, I'm here to have a good time! You only live once :)

I am not dealing with it that well. :-( I am 37.5, and since I was 35 I notice a huge difference; some of it is having two little kids with high energy, working full-time as a teacher on my feet all day, managing the household, working out, oh, and having a relationship with my husband AND a life of my own, but a lot of it is just... aging. I get tired more easily, my face looks pale and awful at night when I am exhausted, I see my mother's under-eye "bags" creeping in when I am beyong exhausted, I can't slip with my eating or I gain weight quickly, yuk. I also find myself more impatient with people and their annoying habits or toxic behavior. I am working so hard to keep my act together, I feel like others should be doing the same, at least those no longer in their 20s!

All of this being said, I know I am still relatively young, and that age is somewhat a state of mind, so I am trying to move forward in life and achieve my goals before it really IS too late!

It takes a lot of work to age gracefully-if you stop trying-you would literally be old overnight!

I am in denial that I am aging. Just kidding. I think we all need to just take care of ourselves, not give up. Eating a healthy diet and exercising are just a couple of ways to fell young. As far as beauty everyone sees that differently. Models and actors are put under so much pressure to be thin and look young. Some of the best actors (male or female) are overweight and not that attractive.
I saw a picture once of two women in their 70’s, one was in a hospital with a walker looking near death and the other at the beach swimming and enjoying life. Both looked their age, but eating healthy and taking care of your body go a long way. As for glasses and things like that it is just a part of aging, something we all deal with as we get older. I also saw an article about some older actors and the plastic surgeries they have had. I have to tell you they all looked so disgusting and you could easily tell they had surgery. (Burt Reynolds, Dolly Pardon etc.)

I wonder if in 5000 years there will be some kind of archeological dig and they will wonder why people did these things to their bodies. Can you imagine them finding fake boobies and other implants in the bodies.

I saw Jane Fonda recently on tv and was like, wow, she is fantasic. I don't think she's had plastic surgery, but not sure. Anyway, I watch all the Housewives shows (and I'm proud! lol) and I don't think that is "real life". I think there are a lot of "real" women who make their looks their #1 priority, because that is the life they lead. "Normal" women, make an effort to stay healthy by eating right (most of the time), drinking enough water (most of the time), exercising (most of the time), using some face cream and other OTC things that help keep the wrinkles away, and limit the stress in their life (most of the time). I think if you make these a priority then I think you are a head of the game!! =)

Hi K.,
I don't know if I am going to give you the right answer, but I am in my 49, and I am just starting to notice that I am changing, yes I am. My body is different and I have more aches H. and there, and several different things, feelings, sensations and thoughts that I never had before. What I am understanding is that I do want to age gracefully, to feel great and look great at my age, and I found out that the only way is exercising, eating healthy, dress accordingly, laugh, smile, take care of our skin, pamper myself, and most of all FEEL young and cultivate my spirituality.Read. Enjoy what I have (material or not material)
I don't have "models" on TV to follow, "beautiful" people who just act all the time, and they never show who they really are, so I cannot follow them.
I have lots of things to do as any other mom; we, moms, are very busy, those who stay at home and those who works outside, moms are busy, but the only way to live well and age well is just make time for ourselves and take good care of ourselves. With the passing of time we HAVE to accept those changes. I am in that process and it is not easy, I feel different and I look different, but as my husband says, I look "beautifully" different, and probably I am getting to my goal, yeah!
Have a wonderful day dear moms!

Like the question! I am guilty of watching the Real Housewives too - its a guilty pleasure! As far as growing old gracefully, that's a tough one...I'm 34 but now I have to exercise and take care of my skin...all those years of going to bed with makeup on (yikes). I even notice now if I've had a few drinks that it negatively affects my appearance the next day (puffy eyes, bloated, not to mention lethargic)...it never was like that in my 20's! I make healthy choices on a daily basis (partly because of appearance), but mostly because I want to be healthy and around for a long, long time and see my great-grand kids :)

I am taking exercising more seriously, started a facial regemin and trying to not make the same mistakes twice.

You can slide into aging gracefully or fight it all the way. I learned the hard way that the best thing you can do for yourself is to eat healthy and exercise. I watched my Mom slowly fade and become weaker and weaker as she aged because she had so many false ideas about eating right and exercise. My Mom had been brought up believing exercise was bad for women. There was a real propaganda campaign until the late '70's to early '80's that women would become 'manly' and their voices would change and they would grow beards if they exercised. My mom died a little over a month ago from heart failure. What I remember the most about her the past 15 yrs is she was always tired.
You don't have to be a super model or waif thin to be healthy. But taking care of yourself is important if you want to be able to take care of your family. It's not just eating right and exercise but also reading and learning and growing emotionally. You need to be able to be simply happy. You need to be able to not have a long list of 'what ifs' and be able to check things off your 'bucket list'. Being active and enjoying your life is what keeps you young. It's not covering your grey or reducing wrinkles that keeps you young and vibrant but having a smile that reaches your eyes and lights up a room. It's knowing that even if you think you can't you know you tried. If you always wanted to be a novelist or artist or sing -- it's important to just do it. You don't have to be published to be a successful writer (though it helps); you need to be able to sit down every day and write from start and get to the end. You don't need to win a Grammy to be a singer or musician. You can join a choir or just learn to play for your own enjoyment.
Go out for coffee and watch people look for the happy older people and if you can ask them what makes them content. They will probably tell you they took a chance and lived the life they wanted even though 'everybody' told them they shouldn't.
Nothing takes the years off your face like a happy smile.

Aging gracefully either requires one heckuva good gene set, or a stellar surgeon.

Everyone else falls to pieces. And no one enjoys falling to pieces. We all have our "ideal" of what we should be, and we have our "reality". When we're able to age gracefully, imho, it's when our ideal and our reality aren't that far from each other.

I think when someone attaches an AGE to an ideal, that it gets troublesome. You just get further and further from that age!

I'm personally reeeeeeeally worried, because I fell to pieces in my 20's. My body is THRASHED from that decade and the one previous (injuries, cancer, pregnancy + 180lb weigh gain, illness). I'm 32 and I'm afraid I may not be able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

YES that will bother me. 90% of what I love doing requires a body that works, and the other 10% requires a mind that works. Right now, I KIND OF have that body (but I'm seriously gimping about, and for months haven't even been able to drive, much less walk, I've been literally crippled in my life. An arm in a sling, and hip to ankle braces, and surgery really lays a person up!) And this is just the beginning. If I WANT to have a body that moves next year, the year after, in 10 years... I'm going to have to have a dozen more surgeries. Or I'm going to end up in a wheelchair. A motorized one.

My life requires a working body. I don't care about scars, and I'll never be pretty again... but my ideal is sooooo far from the reality, that if I don't fix it and fix it soon... I'm going to be trapped.

The people I know who have seriously aged gracefully have either had good luck (they are who they want to be), or a good surgeon who has helped them get to where they want to be. Whether that's form or function is up to their own ideals. Most people have function, so they move onto form. I'll never have form again, but I'd REALLY like function.