Looking My "Age" :)

I always thought that women with gray hair look good sporting a short, pixie cut. I think that will keep it fun, funky, and youthful. Also, once the graying is complete, I would suggest using a whitening shampoo on it, like Clairol Shimmering Lights shampoo. I use this on my blonde hair for some extra sparkle, and to keep light hair from getting brassy or dull.
My husband is 34 and is going gray fast. I love it!

I think many women color their hair. I do... I've been going grey, even white for a long time. it's actually a cool color, but Im not ready for it.. that said... I think what looks great on a person is a GREAT cut... have you considered going short? I think short hair looks great... and you can do so much with it.. also, it does make a person look younger.. at least in my opinion.. Ive seen so many women clinging to their long hair from their youth and in some cases, whether grey or not.. they should consider a short cut.. I've seen many women who have longer grey hair or salt and pepper and who just leave it hanging,again, just my opinion, it looks kinda drab... at least on me it does.. so I prefer short and sporty.. It just looks fresher and younger..

best of luck

38? Hah, I JUST turned 30 and have been going gray since 24, although instead of salt and pepper, I refer to it (on my head) as more of a Cruella deVille look...kind of a huge skunk stripe right down the middle.

I know how you feel...but it only makes you look older at 1st glance...and hey, my husband loves it...maybe lots of men do! Just wear your hair in young styles, dress your age (or just a wee bit younger) and learn to love it! I love it on myself...it took awhile, though.

I'm sure you look lovely!

Be proud of your locks! Just look at Emmylou Harris, she has always been beautiful. My husband has had a crush on her since he was a kid - all b/c of her hair :)

Oh, and yes, you are probably in the minority who doesn't color their hair to cover the gray. I don't color mine either, although, I do highlight it, but that doesn't cover the gray. I am definitely only one of the few moms I know who has gray hair around the temples.

Hi J.,

Early gray hair is usually nutritional. I was a sickly teenager and I was "salt and pepper" at 17. As I got healthier, my brown hair came back. An absorbable multivitamin/mineral complex should help a lot.

Now that I'm over 50, the gray has returned and I color it...my husband is younger and prefers me to.(I wouldn't if he didn't want me to...) I use Naturtint that I get at the Health store. It's not completely natural...it can't be but it is better than store bought or salon coloring. It cost me $15.99 every six weeks...I consider myself a bargain hunter too....it takes me 45 minutes start to finish!

I use henna. I use the regular kind, and it colors the grey completely.

Henna is healthy for your hair - it coats it instead of stripping it, and you can do it yourself for 8 bucks. The only downside to using henna is the color limitation.

IMO, there IS no way to look younger when you sport old lady color on top. It makes you look old and washed out, period. (Okay, there are rare exceptions, but most people are not improved by grey.)

I color my hair. :) I'm not gray. My mom is still not gray at 69. But, I like to color my hair as it has gotten darker over the years (I am blonde, or rather, I was blonde..well I am now because I color it...). Anyway. It is worth it to me and to my husband. He loves it when I color my hair. Loves it! He doesn't care what I pay for it. It's worth every penny. And, I feel better with it done also. Don't be afraid to try it. It is money well spent if you get the results you like, and it helps with your depression over the way you look.
Now, having said that, there is a lady in my church who is not too much older than me who has beautiful salt and pepper hair. I love it. It is long and gorgeous. She can't color due to health issues. But, I love it on her. She looks youthful because she has a beautiful smile and complexion. She is radiant. I do believe she struggled with the gray concept, but she has accepted it and is more comfortable with it now. And, I do think she looks prettier now that she is content with it. She glows. Really.
So, either go for it and color it, or embrace it. No middle ground. No depression over the color of your hair. :)

I have a friend who started going gray at 24. She hated it! Tried coloring, etc.
OMG. She has the MOST beautiful hair!
She is half Spanish, half Portuguese.
Blue eyes, olive skin, salt and pepper hair that is like a gorgeous mist on her head.
She's so gorgeous you can't help but stare at her.
Trust me. Gray isn't always bad.
My other friend who colored her hair all the time gave up.
It looks like she had her hair professionally done that way and highlighted.
Nope. It's just the natural gray.
You might be depressed about it, but others might be envious.
I am going gray and I love it. I have blonde hair.
My daughter refuses to accept that its getting gray. She says its just really, really light blonde hair.
Whatever.

Gray doesn't have to mean old.
I bet you are beautiful.
I say, embrace it, sistah!

Best wishes.

Hi J.:

We are the same age-YOUNG (ha, ha...I just refuse to grow old!). I do have some gray hairs but not salt and pepper. I do color my hair but haven't in awhile and I'm getting really conscientious of it-not sure if I should go my natural color all over , go darker or have some highlights put through it. I think it depends on your skin tone etc. as far as going gray. If you have a more olive or tan complexion it might look pretty good. I think long and gray make most women look older so if it's a bit longer, I would shorten it a bit and go w/a "younger style". My advice-wear some hip jewelry and accessories and only wear clothes that you feel fabulous in and look good on you. Find your sense of style. Wear make-up to emphasize your features. Go to a make-up counter at Nordstroms or Macys and have them do a color analysis on you to let you know what shades would go best w/your complexion.

Hi J.,

I'm forty and have been flirting with those wiry, silvery strands in my hair for a while now. I gave up on coloring when I was 33 or so and haven't regretted it. Getting a regular haircut from a trustworthy stylist helps, and since I'm a preschool teacher, I can keep my style of clothing low-key and fun too: jeans, a couple favorite hoodies/sweaters, and some pretty classic-cut tops. (I'm a big fan of simple, flattering crew-neck type shirts.) I keep my makeup and jewelry pretty low-key too: just some powder on my face, (heavy makeup makes one look older) and some simple earrings and a couple rings.

I always believe that one will look best in what one *feels good* in, whether it's a fancy top and skirt, or jeans and a go-to sweater. Wearing clothes one dislikes usually makes us feel--and look--frumpier.

Oh, and as much as I'm mostly annoyed by style magazines, do take a look at how some of them offer different styles for different ages. I know I'm not rocking the miniskirts or peg-legged jeans any more. Finding clothes that feel right for one's level of personal maturity, and which don't scream "Hey, look at me! I've still got a rocking body! I look young and hip! Just like my daughter!" is helpful, too.

You can buy hair dye for under $10 if you want to color your hair. I love salt and pepper hair. Sometimes it's not the color but the cut. If you have long lifeless hair, that ages you. Grey hair is a different texture than your brown hair. So a great cut or style is your other option. Again you are trying to spend no money, but if you get one great cut, then you can upkeep at a less expensive place. I have a natural white streak over my right temple since I was 16. I maintain the white but any other random grey gets colored. Since I am not one for botox or facial surgery, I try to "look" younger with good hair, healthy eating, good skin and a lot of pleading to God...(lol)

In case it makes you feel any better, I started going gray at 18. I am 29 and quite gray if I don't dye my hair every month or so.

I just use the Feria hair dye, it's just $9.00 a bottle. I am too cheap to get it professionally done!

I think you can combat your hair color aging you by keeping your overall style up to date and young. There's no reason gray hair can't be cut and styled in a cute way. Keep your makeup fresh and young, dress well etc.

I'm 29 and I'm noticing several grays coming in around my temples. I have curly hair, so they mostly get wrapped up in other hairs and aren't that noticeable, but I'm not planning to color either, so I sure hope we can both look young and gray :)

Hi,
I'm 42 and have never used color on my hair.... I'm more of a "natural" kinda girl, too! I don't usually paint my nails or get elaborate hair styles or wear lots of jewelry (costume or otherwise). I wear a pair of pearl studs, a fairly nice/decent watch (nothing "fashionable", just "classically" styled Citizen), and a necklace (either with a small sapphire stone pendant, or the heart on a chain with stones for my kid's birthdays that was a mother's day gift). That's it. My clothes are like that too. Practical, not flashy. Not dowdy but not the latest fad either.

My hair was dirty blonde when I was younger... but it has gotten darker over the years. Sort of a mousy brownish color with red undertones. I have had the stray gray strand here or there for the last 10 years, lol. My son is 12, so I guess since he hit the toddler years, LOL.

I don't notice them much, and no one else seems to either. My mom colors her hair, though. Interestingly, to almost the same shade mine is naturally. Hers was always dark brown when I was growing up. I can't imagine getting color done on mine. Too much work/hassle and upkeep. :(
Unless my hubby says something... I'm fine with it.

a good, funky hair cut...?

This is one of those situations that is really your personal preference and comfort level. My opinion is that if it REALLY bothers you to have gray, you'll color your hair. You can find the money somehow if it means that much to you. You admitted that you are "cheap"; that might just be your way of excusing yourself because you don't really want to color, but you might feel some pressure from society to do so. If you find it depressing, I say color. I highlight my hair, I'm not all gray in any way, but I do have patches here and there that don't show up because of the highlighting. There is no way that I'd personally let myself go gray at 36, 46, even 56... just the way I am. It has nothing to do with anyone's expectations for me, and everything to do with the way I want myself to look. I feel like your hair is something you wear every day, and everyone can see it, so why not look as good as you can? Sure, some ladies look great with gray hair, but I think they also look a few years older as a result. Again, this is every woman's preference, just like clothing and style choices. Do what feels right for you!!

I always color my hair and I am 29. I don't have gray, but I have naturally mousey brown hair that I don't love. So I have been going darker. Coloring your hair on your own is easy and cheap. Less than $10 a box (sometimes $5 at walgreens when they have it on sale) The one I use by Loreal only takes 10 mins.

Well, I'm 41 and just found my first grey hairs. I've had a streak of about 8 silver hairs since I was around 8, but my first "real" ones just appeared. I'll wait until they're more prevalent before I start dying it. I used to have my color done all the time, but a few years ago I decided to get back to the original color and have kept it. I have never been good at doing the color myself, but I now a lot of women who are! Get some color that's pretty much a dead-ringer for your real color and practice. The home color kits are really inexpensive.

Hi J. - I'm 36 and used to color my hair and have stopped about a year ago. I have accepted the fact that I am going grey - my temples are grey and spotted throughout my head. I'm OK with it. My mom has always colored her hair and I don't want to/can't deal with it - money or time!! Plus, if my husband doesn't care - why bother? Now, on to the rest of the world - I recently saw an interview on the Today show (I think) which really encouraged me (I was struggling a bit) and it was on being natural and grey and still being hip and "cool". It was a woman who was in her 40's probably half grey and her hair was long (as is mine) about half way down her back, one length. The woman said she loves her long hair and won't cut it just because it's grey - she said her own mother was harping her to cut it. They were saying more and more women are not coloring or cutting their grey hair. There's a woman at my work that has long hair and it's half grey and she's probably late 30's and she's beautiful, she dresses young, hair is still young-long style. She's my role model - haha. So, when I wake up and all I can see is my grey hair, I wear a cool hip outfit - haha. I always wished I was one of those people who had the cool grey streak - I am not - haha. Good luck and remember, your not alone!!

I think salt and pepper hair is beautiful, my mom had it until she started coloring it and it gets so unhealthy so fast. I think sometimes we just need to embrace what we have...instead of spending money coloring it, invest the money in a GOOD haircut, maintain the hair cut. If you are really thinking about doing something maybe getting some low lights put in will make you feel more youthful? That and its not as hard on your hair. = ) Don't feel bad, I am going to be 37 in May and I have so many gray/white hairs popping up I would trade for salt and pepper any day ( and I don't dye either, it usually looks artificial and what you want covered usually resists taking the color anyway!)
Lots of luck to you= )

I am nearly 29 found my first few greys around 20 and I have been dyeing my hair since 18 so it may have been earlier. It really is cost effective if you simply go to Sally and buy the big bottle of developer and get the boxes of color, brush and pan yourself and have a "party" with a girlfriend or two. Three of us went in on the developer together, 10-20 bucks depending on the size you get and we use L'oreal colors about 4bucks a box. We do this every 6-8 weeks depending and we always have well colored hair because someone else is doing it and we have a good time being girls for the few hours it is. If you do not want to dye your hair then embrace it and get a cut that really accentuates it, not sure what it looks like or what you look like but a great cut can make anything look great! I am serious, my hair dark brown almost black is too much for my long tresses so I chopped them off and got the inverted bob (check my pic if not sure) and I love it! Everyone needs the right cut and color I do not care who you are!