Homework? - Bloomington,IN

Updated on August 20, 2012
M.S. asks from Bloomington, IN
17 answers

how do you get your kids to be independant in their homework, and remember to do it on their own?? I feel stuck, like they won't do it unless I force/nag them, but I want them to feel like it's their responsiblitly and not mine to make sure it happens. How to you "force" them to take charge of it themselves without being in charge???

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B.K.

answers from Albuquerque on

I have my kids set a kitchen timer when they get home from school for 30 minutes of free time (because who wants to come home from school or work and immediately start doing school or work again?) and as soon as it goes off it's time for homework and then chores.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

Make it a routine. As soon as they get home, it's sit at the table and do homework time while you cook, clean, or whatever you need to do. After a while, you won't have to tell them any more, it will just be habit.

P.S. I have no personal experience with this with my own children. (This is what my mom did.) Maybe it was just because we were scared of my mom, though, not because it was habit.... hmmmm.......

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

How old are your kids?

Both of my kids have to do homework right when they get home. It has been that way since kindergarten - they are in 6th & 9th now. They are both very good about getting it done w/o any complaining. As well, there is no TV or video games M-Th so they have no distractions to keep them from doing their homework or rushing through it.

How do you force them to do it? Let them forget it a few times and deal with the consequences in class. You may also let their teacher know what is going on - any extra support is always helpful.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm still trying to figure it out.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

We knew from the beginning, there will always be homework. Everyday after school.

So I gave our daughter a break when she got home to have a snack, some down time and then the homework.

It was just part of our daily routine. Definitely by 3 rd grade I never asked, did you do your homework?

I also did not check our daughters homework or have her correct it.

If she wanted or needed help, I gladly assisted.

The teachers need to see the real work your child is doing.

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Quite simply, academics is their "job" and everything else is secondary. They come home from school, have a snack, and then proceed directly to homework. They can't do ANYTHING else until their homework is done. If they screw around with homework and it's not done by the time we need to leave for ballet, then they don't get to go to ballet (a fate worse than death, as far as my two are concerned). Likewise, on days when they do not have ballet, they can't go outside to play, turn on the XBox, watch TV, or play with their iPods until their homework is done. So they've learned, they can spend forever messing around with homework and then have time for nothing fun, or they can buckle down, do their homework, and have all the time in the world for fun and entertainment afterward. After a while, they both figured out it's much more satisfying just to do their work right away, than to delay it and miss out on everything they enjoy.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

How old are your kids? In my experience once my daughter hit 4th grade she became more independent/responsible with completing homework.

Of course, alot depends on the kid.

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J.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

Our rule growing up was that we had to have our homework done by dinnertime. We could do whatever we wanted after school, and choose when we did our homework. BUT if it wasn't done by the time we sat down to eat we wouldn't get dessert (if we had any that night...) and the next day we lost all television/video game privileges.

It worked really well for my older brother, and my younger sister... My younger brother and I... Not so much. lol. I think a lot of it depends on your child.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Our kids did their homework before dinner and got it out of the way, I could help if need be and then they had the evening to play or do other things. You have to set a time and follow through with it. Then hopefully they'll start doing it as routine.

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I think you need a to find a middle ground between hands off making them responsible, and nagging them non-stop.

My son is in first grade, and I teach middle school, and I think the same general strategy works for both: Create a time and space for homework. Make sure they have everything they need to get started. Go through the list of assignments, make sure they know what they need to do. Then, leave them alone. Stay near by so you can help if they ask, but butt out. A time limit is a good strategy for young kids because it really shouldn't take too long and if it is taking a long time (more than 10 minutes per grade in school) they probably need you to step in and help a bit.

HTH
T.

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S.S.

answers from Cleveland on

My girls are going into 1st grade. We've already discussed a plan, that i hope works for them. They are to come home, empty their bookbag (lunch boxes on counter, folder out ready for me to review) and they do not turn on the tv or play with the ipod until the homework is done. They got ipods at the end of kindergarten, and that trick worked well, although they only had homework 1x per week. I'm not sure what to expect for 1st grade homework, but my girls are good at looking forward to a reward (tv, ipod) once they finish their "chore".

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

It is something that you have to establish as a habit. Ever since my oldest started kindergarten, we've had the same routine -

When they get home from school, they come into the kitchen with their backpacks.
While they have a snack, I go through the backpacks and take care of any notes home, sign planners, and take care of other 'parent homework'.
When they are done with snack, they do homework immediately, right there in the kitchen.
When homework is complete, it goes back into the backpacks which are then put by the door. (this also prevents morning find-stuff-scrambling)

The only homework that isn't completed in the kitchen is when it requires the computer. Sometimes a project is a multi-day thing and is worked on accordingly. Of course, sometimes life circumstances will require a deviation, but those are rare.

I never have to nag or remind, because we've been doing it the same way for seven years.

You can create a routine to suit your families needs, activity schedule, etc but there needs to be a set, non-optional 'homework time' before your expectations will be met. You'll have to start out with reminding, but if you're consistent I bet you will have to do a lot less supervising by the end of first quarter.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The kids are kids. They will not do homework unless they are reminded. It is part of being a parent.

If you want your kids to do their homework then you need to decide how it is going to go. Our grand kids teachers know that I will not let them do hours of homework every day. They can send home a few minutes of homework but no more. If they cannot teach the kids in class then something in their teaching style needs to change.

Kids are kids. They already give over 8 hours per day to school. They need to come home and play, to watch some TV, do some sports, do stuff with their family, not spend another 4 hours on homework. That is abusive in my mind and I just don't allow it.

So with that in mind, I have one place in the house where the kids do their homework. There are no other things going on in that area. Usually we designate the dining area to be the homework area. They do their stuff all evening and then after dinner, when we get done with evening activities and it's calm. Close to bedtime. They have homework time. They are quiet, the work gets done, I am usually in the area cleaning or doing laundry, if they need help I am there and so is hubby. Either one of us is available to help.

When my daughter was in elementary school she lived with her dad and step mom for a while. They came home from school and sat down in the kitchen at the table and did homework while the step mom cooked dinner. They got it done right after school and had the whole evening free.

I like having free time right after school and we often don't even come home from picking the kids up until after 8pm like tonight. I went to work at 3pm and got off at 8:45pm. There is no way she could have done any homework.

It all depends on what time of day you want to inconstantly set as home work time and where you want them to do it in your sight. They will not do it if they are not watched.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I work FT now so my GD just automatically starts her homework as soon as we get home because it's a very short period of time from arriving home to bedtime. Plus in the car I ask her what kind of homework she has, so it's right on her mind and I don't have to tell her to do it. BUT she is a very conscientious (SP?) kid and likes to have her homework done.

When I worked PT, I set 4:00 as homework time. Every day at 4:00 she knew it was time for homework. I didn't have to remind her. I did tell her, though, when I set the homework time rule, that if I did have to remind her, that she would not get any tv that night. If she can't remember to do homework, then she can't remember to turn on the tv.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Mine is going to 4th grade.
Our rule & routine has ALWAYS been that after school, a short break and snack, homework is to be done next, before dinner.
He is so used to this that there have been times I've started to do something else with him and he says "Oh--no--first homework, right?"

In elem school, I think the parents still need to be there as a measure to look over & make sure that everything was done that needs to be done.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

How old is your child?

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

My dd is in a lot of sports after school. I usually sit down with her after she gets home and after she eats and get her started, then I usually walk off - mostly because she doesn't want me telling her what to do.

She's got a lot on her plate and at 9 years old, she doesn't always have the organizational skills to remember all of it (same with me sometimes).

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