My nieces and nephew have been staying with us while their parents take a trip. My almost 8 year old nephew cried himself to sleep tonight. He has stayed with us several times before, and I just didn't see this coming.
I've tried very hard to keep them busy but also give them some down time. I know I wore them out today. I think part of the problem is exhaustion.
I rubbed his back, told him it's ok to miss his parents and home, encouraged him to get some sleep, let him know he could wake me if he needed anything. He's asleep now, but I did hear him crying. I reatlly do think he'll feel better in the morning.
What else could I have done, and what can I do tomorrow?
I don't think you could have done anything else, but I do think that tomorrow it would be good to not have so many activities that he ends up being exhausted.
Just be very even with him and make home a "safe" feeling place to be. That should help.
Poor boy. It s so hard to miss your parents.. May be coming down with something also..end of school, they wear out easily from lack of sleep, excitement and for him a bit of stress..
You sound like you did fine...
Are you doing things drastically different thatn his parents do them. Maybe something like his bedtime routine, or the food you eat, it could be anything. Maybe talk to him about 'how mommy and daddy do things' and he will open up. If his routines stay as close to the same as they are done at home he will miss them less.
You handled it very well. I think you are right, he's exhausted and misses his parents. I would be prepared for something similar today, but wouldn't make a big deal out of it. If it happens again tonight, then do the same thing... my guess, though, is that it won't!
Poor little guy. It can be rough to miss mom and dad. This is fairly common and sometimes children get to feeling like they'll never see them again although they can verbalize it as it's more of a feeling or subconscious thought.
You did all the right things. Your love is and will carry him through, what a good auntie you are. Just keep showing your love and when he brings it up just tell him he'll see them soon. Maybe he can make a calendar to count and mark off the days. Maybe he can make them a home-coming gift, something that would take time and be a project to last for a few days. Maybe something like sewing together some shape cut from felt and filled with lavendar or made into a bean bag so they can all play with it, or a wallet or little purse or something they could pin to their shirt that says I love you. Just an idea.
Maybe he can draw some pictures about his stay with you, the things you're all doing. Maybe he can write a letter to them. He could draw pictures with a short sentence or two about a story you've read or a chapter book.
Just keep letting him know you love him and understand and reassuring him.
The best to the sweet little guy.
If it happens again maybe suggest he make them a home-made card...just something from him to them to let them know he was thinking about them and that he missed them...then he can give it to them when they get back? Maybe even suggest doing it every day until they return? He can tell them all about what you guys did that day, maybe even take some pictures to go with? It might help him deal with his missing them...
~I would suggest letting him call them ONLY if you think it would make him feel better, definitely not if it will make him worse though!
Aw, poor sweetheart. Maybe he's just tired AND missing them.
I think you did all the right things.
I like what a poster said about letting him make them a card tomorrow.
Just give him lots of hugs, assurance & special attention.
Sounds like you did your best to keep him busy today.
Maybe make sure there's a nightlight on in the hallway so he can find
you if he needs to in the middle of the night.
Continue more of the same tomorrow taking them somewhere totally fun,
exciting & new if you can. Something you think he'd really like to do.
If he gets upset tomorrow night, just do more of the same: hugs,
reassurance etc.
I'm sure he'll be better tomorrow after he's rested.
Just keep him engaged & busy but not overly so.
Maybe secretly inquire in casual conversation what his normal bedtime routine at home is & try to incorporate some of that so he feels more at home.
Keep their routine going they would have at their home or create one for them while staying with you. Have them start working on a photo collage of all the fun things they have been doing with you to give to their parents when they return! Have sleep outs with tents in the living room or backyard. GIve them opportunity to choose their activities and sell lemonade. Routine is best for their age though and lots of hugs!
How about starting a journal about all the fun stuff he's been doing while he's on vacation at your house? You could have him write and illustrate it and add to it every day until his parents are back.
One thing that has helped my girls when they are feeling homesick or missing us is to draw us a picture or write us a card. It helps them feel like they are actively doing something and also reminds them that we will be back. And once we are, they can give us their creations. I went away on a girls' weekend in February and my daughters handed me a pile of pictures they'd colored for me when I returned. They were so proud of what they had made for me while I was away and said when they were feeling sad or missing me, they made something for me. They've done this when we've both been gone too. I think it makes them feel empowered and is also teaching them valuable coping skills for the future.
Is Skype a possibility? Just a thought. It bridges the gap when I have to travel for business, especially the longer 7+day trips. And it's free. :-)
Sounds like you're doing a great job.
Know that it's normal for an 8 yo to miss their parents and to cry. Let him be. You did great reassuring him. Now let it go. When you work so hard to make him happy you're telling him it's not OK to be sad. You are not responsible to make everyone happy. In fact it's detrimental to the child for you to be so concerned and needing to make it better. Let feelings happen. Don't try to change them. Offer compassion and understanding. Then let go.
Yes, do help him with coping skills by providing activities to take his mind off how he's feeling; to give him breaks from the sadness. The key is to provide him with opportunities that he may or may not accept without the angst that I sense from your post. It really is OK to feel sad and miss his parents.
