I feel guilty even thinking this, much less verbalizing it, but I REALLLY REALLLLY REALLLLLLLY am dreading Thanksgiving at my husband's uncle's house. Don't get me wrong--I love them, have no problems with them, love the entire family & am excited to SEE them, but it is so stressful for me!
They have a gorgeous home with expensive trinkets everywhere, white furniture, imported Persian rugs, nuts and chocolate candies in bowls on nearly every side table, 5000 square feet of home, and TONS of people. It is just so hard to parent in that environment, as I am constantly trying to keep them from running, knocking stuff over, out of the nuts & candy bowls, not screaming, trying to get them to eat the meal & stay at the table--oy veh! I end up dripping with sweat, red-faced, and just stressed!
We do bring activities for them, but they never seem to actually want to do them and prefer to run amok (along with some distant cousins of roughly the same age.) Taking them outside is probably not the best option, as it'll be cold here.
What do you ladies do to keep your sanity? Of course, there's always red wine, but that's a last resort ;-)
ETA: Oh yes, and I forgot to mention the fact that I can barely even attempt to socialize with the adults--not that I'm looking to sit there and have long chats, but I just feel like a bad guest because I can't interact with anyone but my kids.
Miracle of miracles! For the first time in the 10 years I have known them, this year they switched it up--The adults hung out in the great room & it was off-limits to kids, and the kids got to stay in the kitchen (their kitchen table seats 16). Another uncle came and brought his 3 kids, 11-14 year olds, and they took the little kids down to the basement and played with them the entire time! It was amazing!!!! For the first time in nearly 5 years I was able to enjoy a family gathering, and I am so happy that my hubby's cousin convinced her parents to change the rooms around :)
Holidays are the time when kids get to run amok with cousins. Let them. If something ends up broken, well...perhaps they ought to have thought of that before inviting such an huge clan without a specific room for the kids to play and run amok!
Perhaps they have such a room that all the kids could play in? A movie room?
Well I am saying screw everyone for turkey day. A quick vent: we were renting a home from my aunt (mom's sister) for 5 years. All of a sudden this "family member" told us they were selling and we had to move. Never gave us a time frame nothing. Just started sending people over to fix up. Do an appraisal, termite inspection, etc. So we took 30 days and got the heck out. They are "selling" to their daughter who is knocked up again no job. Totally get that they can but don't be jerks about it. When we turned over the keys my aunt was like "you are so welcome to come over for Thanksgiving." Oh yeah geez thanks for kicking my family out lets hang out. My whole fam is going there. Hubby's parents started going to vegas a few years ago. So we are going to Disneyland. (can't do it ourselves as we are living with my parents as we wait fot a house to close) The holiday is what you make it and we are going to make it fun. Good luck!
Can you & your husband tag-team the kids. You take duty for 30 minutes then switch and repeat? That's kind of what we do then the other O. gets to have some adult interaction and conversation until their "shift".
I don't dread the gatherings, as much as I dread the logistics: pack up these gifts for these people, return home, re-load, unload, etc.
Thanksgiving is VERY easy now that we alternate families--less rushing around. I finally enjoy it again!
You should definitely get there and have that glass of wine. Then, let your kids have fun. Within reason, of course. If they invited you, they should be aware of the fact that there is a good chance their house can get wrecked by your or any other kids.
Let them have fun and try to relax and enjoy the holiday. Are any of your kids old enough to bribe??
Make that two glasses of wine. And let the kids be kids, if they make a mess... oh well, if they break something.... oh well. Your husbands uncle shouldn't live in a museum.
Let the kids eat what they want when they want, they're kids!
I know you're thinking 'easier said than done', but really, it is THAT easy!
There are some great games that your kids can play this Thanksgiving:
obstacle course - can they walk from one end of the house to the other without touching or bumping into anything except the floor with the bottom of their feet.
statue - time them and see if any other guests notice how still and silent they are.
timer - give them a watch, set it to beep every 15 minutes. When they hear the beep they can pick one item out of the candy or nut dish.
outside - bring parkas, boots and a clean change of clothes.
favorite movie or video game - no one will miss the kids if they spend an hour or two off in another room watching a dvd.
It's supposed to be 52 degrees and sunny on Thursday in Chicago. That is PLENTY warm for kids to be outside. Let them run around outside to get out all that excess energy. Plus, they will be hungry after playing and will sit better for the meal.
This is what I would do - I would ask uncle and aunt to put all breakable trinkets up high or locked away. I would let the kids run amok with cousins and totally ignore them for a while (unless they were being truly awful!). Then when they start getting truly rowdy I would send all of them outside to play. But it depends on the age of your kids. If you have kids who are too little you can't just send them out without an adult. If they are too young I would have a plan to "tag team" with my husband and the other parents. I would never be on kid duty the whole time - that would be totally unfair. I'd talk to the other parents and my hubby and have one parent on duty while all the others can relax. I feel for you!!! Good luck!
i miss them this year..i agreed to let my daughter have thanksgiving with his family to avoid a fight and xmas eve his family does a big party that ill miss too...weve done them together in past year even not together but this is the 1st year we're not. I want to be chasing her around maing sure she doesnt break things=( Anywho follow the other parents leads, if everyone else lets the kids run within limits and have fun I would too, its their choice to have tons of kids and people there and leave out the expensive things. Divy up the chasing the kids around responsabilities, between you the husband, anunt uncles, jsut say hey i'm grabbing food can u watch them, and do it to several people and enjoy yourself=) thats what M. and my cousins do, we all take turns
I always dread it but always have fun. You would think at some point I would just stop dreading it because nothing bad ever happens.
yowzers, that takes all the joy out of it, doesn't it. As I see it, you have a couple choices. One - Choose a designated play room for the kids. Take all the breakable stuff out and put all the toys you can find in. Take along a video game console and a baby gate, movies, video games, coloring books, etc. Gate the door so they know they are supposed to stay coralled in but can still see and hear everybody. Of course, they can't stay couped up all day, but it will at least buy you 30 minutes here and there of quiet rest. Also, take a t-ball set or a croquet or something to play out back and kick the kids outside.
Anohter option is to pay a tween in the family to keep the kids out of trouble so you can enjoy the grownups.
And to answer the question.....No, I am not dreading it. I can't wait. I'm so flippin excited I can't stand it! This is the stuff that makes life worth living. Getting together with family and expressing our love and gratitude, celebrating with the people we love is the heritage we give our kids. It's a legacy thing. And just think of all the people that would love nothing more than to be with family but can't make it or the people that have lost loved ones and wont be able to spend it with them. For all those people, enjoy it to the fullest. It's a blessing and a privelage! Let the red wine flow!
