Holding on for What?

M.:

Children DO NOT create 'all sorts of conflicts for couples who have been together for a while'. Adults create their own conflicts if they choose not to work together for the common good of the family.

You are trying to work things out with him I assume because you must have loved / liked him at some point to have slept with him and to conceive a baby.

If you truly want to work things out with him, you are going to have to start working on your relationship with him, ignore the dramatics and learn that being a mother means dealing with issues that you don't want to deal with.

Good luck!

One word, "Abstinence", could have prevented all the conflicts you are dealing with now.

Can you drop off your child without talking to him and leaving then picking him up later on? If I read that right it sounds like you are staying for the visit. I'm sorry but if he wont talk to you then you are going to have to go through a court to work out child support. It sounds like he wants to take things out on you and you let him by arguing with him.

How is he getting to your cell phone? I think at least for now you should avoid arguing with your ex, but you are going to have to try to work things out with him.

I just read what MOMMAL wrote and your update, I didn't know this before posting so I have to add that you should work harder with this child's father. I don't agree a unexpected pregnancy is about you about you and the baby, it is about making sure this child has access to it's father and his mother. This child's life is so much more than just you.

It sounds like you were not in a relationship with your son's father very long before you became pregnant - so of course you don't know him very well. For you child's sake you may want to try to get to know him better if just to ensure you know what type of man he is and if he will be good influence on your baby. You are not obligated to continue a romantic relationship with the man if that is not what you want. Forging something out of nothing just because you have a child with him, or just because other people say you should is not reason enough.

A couple of ways to make your interactions with him easier:

(1) Instead of trying to come to a child support agreement on your on - go to court. That way child support, visitation and a host of other benefits (like medical care and school clothes) can be firmly written up. That will eliminate one stress in the relationship.

(2) If your child is old enough go ahead and let him visit with the father without you having to be there. If the child is too little is there another adult you trust to be at the visits? His mom, sister, Aunt, etc.

(3) If you feel you must stay for the visit leave your purse and phone in your locked car - if he can't get to them he can't go through them. Bring a book, curl up on a chair in the corner and read while he and the child visit together. If he brings up a topic you are not comfortable talking about, get up, and go outside. If he follows you, take your son and leave and tell him you will be back once he understands that these visits are not about the two of you but about him getting to know his son.

Good luck to you, it is hard but you sound like you have your son's best interests at heart. Just love your baby and live your life well.
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Oh, and to Vicki E. - that comment was uncalled for - that was just cruel and pointless.

Actually... I think the drama is a good sign that separating was a good move. Do you really WANT to be with someone that guilt trips you constantly? Someone, who instead of being grateful for the visits and time and chance, and makes you feel like "Yeah, maybe this could work," instead rakes you over the coals this way?