Holding Back a Child in School or Not

Don't worry about the difference between cousins. My cousin and are 2 weeks apart and we graduated a year apart. Never seemed like a big deal.

I held our daughter back in 1st grade. I think it was the best decision I made she is in 2nd grade this year and doing great. As long as they are young enought they won't know the difference at this age. It is better to do it now than wait till 6th grade when everyone is aware of it (peers, siblings, cousins etc..) She won't get made fun of or anything. No one has ever said anything to my daughter about her age or grade.
I hope this helps.

I would talk with the school about it before you enroll. Perhaps they would be able to help you out with this decision. There are many kids who are held back, and it is not because they are unintelligent or anything of the sort. We all grow and deveop differently. What we cannot grasp at one time we can quickly grasp at another - its just how we're made. Talk with the school and I am sure they can help you with giving you information about this problem.

I use to teach and I think this is a decision you should make with the school. Schools generally won't recommend this unless many interventions have been tried and they feel it would truly be beneficial. Age is a huge component: the younger the child, the better for self-esteem and academic issues.

If she needs "a little" help with school, try other things first: tutoring, Title I classes at school, possibly speak with the social worker or special ed. teachers about making a referral (you can request a special ed. assessment in writing in both MN & WI). Another thing to consider is that she may be having trouble with the organization of school: where assignments are written, when & where to turn them in, even simple things like sitting too close to friends may cause her to be distracted from cues. See if the teacher will do a daily monitor sheet to help you track down what the problem is specifically.

After elementary school, I don't think that retaining a child helps.

I myself fell behind in 3rd grade due to moving to a new school in the middle of the year and the new school wasn't in the same place my old school was teaching wise. I NEVER caught back up. I have tried to go to college twice and have dropped out feeling unadequate or stupid. I know I'm not stupid but my math skills are embarrasingly horrible. I still count using my fingers. I am worried about my daughter and if I can help her with her homework someday, she's in kindergarten. If your child is in a lower grade maybe it would be the best thing, if he or she is just slightly behind maybe hire a tutor. Most of my brother and my problem was we are very intelligent but were bored or completely not interested in certain subjects. I would get the teachers opinion, the principals etc...

My son spent two years in Kindergarten, and I considered holding him back again in 4th grade because he was still having problems acidemicly. But because of his size I decided aginst it, he was always the tallest and biggest in his class. My son recently graduated High School a year and 1/2 ahead of his class...Turns out he wasnt having "problems" academicly at all, he was too smart for what was being taught and became easily bored and distracted. Any grade above 1st grade I would say no, dont hold back. Request that the school do an Individual Evaluation if your kid continues to decline or the teacher reports that the child seems not to be able to use time effectivly or reports the child isnt working to ability. That will help pin point the childs strenghts and weaknesses and the school will have to provide an education plan specifically for your childs needs based on the evaluation. Thats what homeowners pay taxes for!

If holding the child back will ensure a strong academic future, DO IT.

We held my little brother back from Kindergarten because we knew he wasn't quite ready. It's better to help them academically by holding them back than to force them into something they aren't ready for. If we'd sent my brother to school with his best friend Katie (who is a month younger than he is), he would have had a terrible school experience due to not being able to keep up.

Who cares if they don't graduate the same year? I don't think there will be self-esteem issues due to being held back. I had three friends in grade school who were held back, and everyone thought they were "cool" because they were older than we were. Once we hit high school, I don't think anyone even remembered, or cared, for that matter.

D.,

Absolutely NOT.....in this situation if you believe the child needs help, who better to help than teachers? I am not sure what the age of your child is and I assume you are in the Appleton area but there are 4K testing that your child can do to see if they are ready for school and if not the school district will work with your child otherwise there are Head Start programs also!!! Please keep your child's needs in mind and if you are qualified or their daycare provider is qualified to work with your child individually then that is great but if not you don't want to set your child up to fail. It is our job as parents and also myself as a childcare provider, to be sure that we are helping our children be as prepared as we possibly can for the school and learn experiences to come. Please contact me if you need more specific resources or have particular concerns!!

S. S

I have had to think about this before in the past...
But the way I look at it is...
Do you think they would have a harder time adapting to being held back....
Or being behind the rest of the kids in their grade...

My son was behind for awhile....
I even asked the teacher if she thought we should hold him back...

I just think that if the child is not ready to move on then they would have a harder time catching up with the other kids in thier grade...(being that they are behind already)

Just have to think about the positives and negatives...

Take it from someone who did not hold back! I Wish I had. Wouldn't you rather "hold back" now instead of having her possibly struggle in school? also if you feel it's right it is. you will only benefit your child. Wouldn't you rather have them stay at home or in day care one more year and then met new friends at school rather than have them start and make friends only to be "Held back" at a later date? It usually doesn't start to show until 3rd or 4th grade?

this is a tricky one! in my opinion a child should only be held back if they are having a really hard time with the materials and even tutoring will not catch them up... if the child is smart enough to learn the material though i do not suggest holding the child back!

what grade is your child in? and how much trouble are they having in school. IF its reading put them in title 1. how are there grades in all classes? what do the teachers think? try a tutor. would like to know more

My daughter was held back in the second grade and I think it did her a world of good. I am glad I did it..
I dont know where you live or what your daughter needs help in but the schools here have title one and bonus reading for those kids who need a little more help in math and reading.. You could check into that also..
I think weather you hold em back depends on the child and the age.. You dont want her to be humilated(SP) but at the same time you dont want her to struggle either... I would talk to your daughter about it and see what she says..
I also held My son back one year.. He was not at all ready for kindergarten when he was supose to start so I put him in a program called ready set kindergarten and it did him a world of good. By the time he started kindergarten he was ready to go.
Good luck

My opinion: Kids learn at different rates and we are all wired differently to learn in various ways - some are late bloomers and teachers can do a lot to help with this.

Holding him back is a quick fix but could be a major blow to his self-esteem for life.

Don't hold him back until you have turned over every other stone and talked to teachers and tutors. The social situation surrounding this can be devastating and kids can be cruel. It can be hard enough for a child to make it socially in school.

D.,
My middle son was bumped from first grade back to kindergarten and it was very good for him. His first grade teacher said she'd talk to Ty and his shoulders would slump because he was so defeated. Now, he's in the 98% percentile on national testing consistently, has no troubles in school at all. It did him more damage to be right there and being defeated daily when he truly was and is a smart person, just emotionally he was wrecked and not ready. Her cousin graduating a year ahead shouldn't be an issue unless they are competitive as is. What grade is she in? Is this something you could get a tutor for? Are you comfortable contributing to your child's education? Best of luck in your decision. A little help in school is manageable without holding them back, but examine your heart and motivation before you go either way.