High School Football Game Alone with Friends at Age 14 - Memphis,TN

Yes, you are being overly protective. It is a school event after all.

You realize in 3 short years she will be an adult, correct?? To prepare her, you need to start letting her go now.

Yes, over paranoid

She's almost 15. It's time to cut the apron strings a bit. Hopefully she has not been so sheltered that she won't know what to do with friends unsupervised.

You lay ground rules. There is nothing wrong with a high school student going to a high school ball game unsupervised.

You can let go and allow her some independence or when she's free she'll do as she please which is usually woefully worse that being at a ball game with no parent.

I went to football games and such alone from 8th grade on. My mom dropped me off I met up with s group of friends we walked around and watched the game. Some of my best memories. I was also in marching band in high school so watching the band was one of the best parts.

A comment for Gamma G. School events are well supervised.As a retired police officer I didn't have to think twice about letting my 14 yo, freshman granddaughter go with friends, she could walk there if she wanted. I'm not sure yet about walking home after dark but mostly I say ok. We live in a well lighted good neighborhood with no sexual preditors. And my granddaughter walks with confidence and knows how to take care of herself. She knows not to talk to strangers. I've seen her walk away when a stranger approached her. I stayed to answer his question and she told me I shouldn't do that.LOL

I would set some boundaries such as calling me when the game was over and being home within 30 minutes. I probably would talk about routes with her. I woud let her go out to celebrate in a large group as long as I knew who she is with and where they were. I trust her until she shows me she can't be trusted by not keeping in touch and not being with and where she said. I'd know because I'd pick her up and because I talk with other parents.

There are thousands of good law abiding people. Less than 1% of the population would harm a child. I say this even tho I've dealt with the 1%.

At what age would you let a teen go with friends to a ball game? How will teens learn responsibility.

BTW I cannot think of any time the perpetrator went out of their way to abduct or hurt a child, teen or even adult. The crime is one of opportunity mostly. And child sex offences are mostly committed by someone the family knows.

Um...yes. This is what high school is all about. It's a game of her peers playing and watching, along with some of their family, friends, and community. It's not Woodstock. Relax, let her go!

ETA Gamma G really? Come on now, be reasonable.

Please let her go. It is a school sponsored event for students. Parents are not expected to accompany their teen to a game.

My son is 14 and rides his bike 4 miles to the game then rides home in the dark at about 10:00. Do I worry? Yes. We offer rides but he loves the independence. He texts us when he gets there and then when he heads home. He loves attending the football games. He plays in the band at the games.

Kids that are coddled and told to be scared of the world around them are not prepared to face that world. Encourage independence, trust, accountability and responsibility and she will grow up to be a strong,independent woman.

The moment she starts giving you issues then that is when you go accompany your troublemaking irresponsible teen. But, give her wings. Let her have some room to show herself and you that she can survive a night out with friends without mommy.

The world can be a scary place if we focus on the negative...but for the most part people are good. Crime statistics are down. She is not going to be hanging out in a dark alley. She will be in a well lit, well populated and supervised sports event.

Our son came home from the game last week and told us the police were there and arrested a freshman for being drunk at the event. She was talked to, she began fighting with the police and then arrested. An announcement was made over the sound system regarding underage drinking. It is life...kids learn from watching other kids make poor decisions. I am glad our son saw what happens when you break the law and then act like an arse. I don't want to shield him from seeing stuff like that.

I know it's hard, I'm assuming she's your oldest?

But how will she ever earn your trust if you don't give her the opportunity?

HS football games with your friends is the stuff of awesome memories.

Let her show you she can make good choices without your standing next to her.

:)

At fourteen she should be able to go to a school function unsupervised. She is almost old enough to drive a car and get a job...

I think you are being overprotective.

I am in a unique position in that I had sons who played football, AND daughters that went with groups of friends too. I went with the under HS age kiddos, and when the girls were in HS, they went with friends. Sometimes they would pop over to where we were sitting, but mostly we ignored each other!! lol

Now, since all the boys have graduated, I let my daughter go on her own. She will be away at college soon. In my opinion, she needs the 'training ground' of expanding freedoms NOW so she is ready for the BIGGER freedoms of college.

That is part of the role of the parent - helping them deal responsibly with freedom...and gradually letting them fly on there own!!

Best!

**their*** I meant their dammit.
Off to get more coffee!

It would NEVER have occurred to me to bring a parent to a high school football game. Why on earth would they want to go. I was in the marching band. A parent dropped me off and picked me up. By the time I was 15 (friends were 16), a friend would often pick me up so my parents didn't need to drive at all.

Gamma G - Scaring her by making up stories about all the people abducted, raped and killed at their local high school football games would be crazed.

I always went to high school football games with friends, starting as a 14 year old freshman. One parent would drop us off and another would pick us up. I do think you're being overprotective. This is a school event.

Yes, I think you're being a bit unreasonable. This is what high school is all about. Maybe you can compromise. Go to the game with but don't sit with them, just sit nearby, or drive them, drop them off, and pick them up later.

Based on what you said, I see no reason for her not to go. Sounds like she earned it. If she's doing well in school with no discipline issues, you need to begin to trust her. Set some ground rules. If she screws up and breaks your trust and the rules then no more going to games.

Gramma G is being over reactive. You can't keep your daughter in a bubble forever, you need to let her begin to spread her wings. Letting your kids grow up is scary, but letting them take small steps towards independence's a good thing, and will help them become mature, responsible adults.

Good luck.

Yes you are being over protective. She will have lots of people around in case she needs someone. She has to do it sometime, and I'd rather my child go out "alone" in a setting like that.

I vote let her go. She is in high school and this is all part of high school socializing.

Well I was a varsity cheerleader at that age so I went to ALL the games, including away games, without parents.
And if it matters, I didn't get into any trouble, didn't even have sex until I was a senior (last of all my friends actually.)
Your daughter either has good common sense or not, only you can determine that.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

She's in high school. This is what they do in high school. If you have no discipline problems - why are you hesitant? What is your gut telling you?

Tell her your expectations. Set the rules and the consequences for breaking those rules.

Without knowing more information - yes - I think you are being overprotective.

Yes, you are. Lay down some clear rules like she cannot leave the stadium. She has to stay the entire game and you'll pick her up when it's over.

School spirit is a good thing.

My DD is exactly the same age and will even be turning 15 this month. I would be considered an over protective mother for sure, but, yes, I would absolutely let my daughter go to a sporting event with a friend. I would drive her there and pick her up and make sure she understood that she isn't to go anywhere with anyone EVER or accept a ride from anyone other than me. If your daughter has a good head on her shoulders, she can handle this.

Yes, you are being overprotective. She's in high school.

I always went with my friends to the high school football games, my parents never went. I guess it never occurred to me that this would be a problem, but then, I'm from a small town so it's not like if we were doing something we shouldn't all of our moms wouldn't know about it by the end of the game.

I say let her go. You drop off and pick up so you know she's going straight there and coming straight home if it will make you feel better.

Definitely let her go. A 10th grader should be allowed to go to high school football games with her friends. Going out to the hottest club in town with her friends? Not so much. But a high school football game? Yeah, definitely.

Yes you are being over protective. The game is at her high school, most HS football games are filled with student and family members. At this age it's a social activity - she and her friend will see the boys they like, they'll get a hot dog or pretzel and maybe get a chance to sit with or talk to the boys and other girls. It's part of the American high school social scene and as harmless as an activity can be. Of course there are people who will be doing stuff they shouldn't - but they're in the school building during the day too. If you're daughter's a good kid she's already avoiding those people.

At this age you have to find things you can say yes to - so when you say no they're OK with it. A "yes" to the HS football game makes it easier to say "no" to a party where you don't know the family hosting it and you don't know if there will be alcohol or adult supervision.

Yes. You are being overprotective.

It is such a difficult call. I would probably feel more comfortable sitting in the stands while she hangs out with her friends, even if she never sits with you.

We did it and it was probably not a good idea.

**Okay, maybe I am an overprotective mama. This is where this site is good for me!!!

She's old enough. You drive her there and pick her up. She's not allowed to leave the football stadium.

Sorry, I'm a bit confused. You weren't already letting her do things with friends, unsupervised when she was 10? Or is it the location that makes you nervous?

My friends and I used to ride the city bus to the mall or to the movies when we were 10, and we were babysitting other people's kids when we were 12. Can't imagine how confused we would have been if we were told we had to be chaperoned when we were 14. We probably would have thought it was a joke.

Yep, this is the time!
Drop her off, pick her up.
She will do great.

If she's going with a group of friends (more than one) - it should be fine.
At 15 (through 16) - everything should be done with a group of friends.

I would say yes. While Gamma G has a point, it is a bit on the far side. There is less chance of something happening at a game than just her being out to the store or something. Now with the way they really watch things at schools, they would probably have a lot of security to prevent any fights. She will be fine. Take her and then pick her up. She won't be alone.

My kids are 15, in 10th this year, and they go to dances with friends, they have gone to later evening events (8 pm), even one that they stayed the night in school and came home at 6 am. I did meet them halfway though that time because it was freezing out!

I am glad to see that you are letting her go. That is how our kids mature and spread their wings. She will have a great time! Its a right of passage. Friday night football with friends!!!!

I am glad to see you are letting her go, I think today we don't give our kids enough credit and they are capable of more then we let them do. I was going places alone with my friends much much younger then 14.

Glad to see you are letting her go.

I too am one who thinks you were being over protective. You need to cut the apron strings sometimes. She needs to learn how to act/behave without you there.

I have a 15 year old boy. I know the feeling. It's important to let them navigate things like this without you. Like others have said, set the expectations of her behavior.

yes. If she is in HS she should be allowed to go to the game w/o parents. I started going in 7th grade. I went with a friends parents but its not like we were hangin out with them and supervised. The next year we went by ourselves. Can you go an not hang out with her? If you have no interest in the game bring a friend and hang out or chill in your car and read.

I would let her go. Our school district makes the kids wear their ID cards for all games and they tend to have a particular section they sit in. It is alot of fun for the kids and part of growing up.

J.:
No, not being overprotective, just a parent. I have a 14 yr old boy and I go to games with him. He is allowed to go hang with friends, but has to come and check in with me. I usually see him walking by or at one end or the other throughout the game. Unsupervised is how they end up in trouble. If the mother or father of the friend is going and you trust them to have her check in, then it would be ok. If they are being dropped, I would say no. It is a parents job to monitor and know what is going on. good luck
A.

I hope she had a great time.

I would do what you're doing... let her go with a group of friends. Let her know that you trust her and know she'll use her best judgment, you want her have fun, and I think it's ok to tell her that you're a little nervous and hope that she checks in with you during the game. However, I'd also make sure to tell her what your expectations of her are during the time she leaves the house and comes home by laying down a few ground rules.

1. Don't go anywhere except the game
2. If they want to go to eat somewhere after the game, call first so you can work out the details with her
3. Don't get into someone's car other than the people she's going with
4. Let her know that if she wants to come home early you'll pick her up at a moment's notice without judgment
5. Ask her to give you a text update of the score of the game at halftime and when the game is over

I had similar rules excluding texting when I was younger, and I lived in a very safe small town. When my daughter asks to go to a game, which I expect soon, these will be our rules. However I LOVE high school football and supporting our home team so I would probably also attend and but still give her lots of space... and keep my phone on vibrate.

No, all kinds of strange people go out of their way to find kids and hurt them. I'd explain to her that she is a good kid and that you do trust her but trusting the world is harder. You could even share some stories with her of teens even older have been abducted or killed or raped or drugged or more.

She may need to hear this to understand where you're coming from and not being so over protective.

My first instinct was to look at what state you are living in, this would never be a question from someone in Texas! High school football games are the focal point of our fall! I never missed a game my 4 yrs of high school, but I understand your hesitance.

The games are FILLED with students, families, faculty and (in TX) county deputies. As long as your daughter stays in her group, she will be safe. It builds student pride and shared experiences, the memories you hold dear from your high school days.

Glad you let her go. It gets easier and bigger from here, I'm watching the TX A&M game on tv right now knowing my 19 yr old is somewhere in that huge stadium wearing maroon and waving a white towel! Your dgtr may be wearing a big orange T shirt cheering for Tennessee before you know it!