She is probably gifted. You guys might see me say this in answer to a number of things, but gifted children can be truly high maintenance, and whats worse is that they're smarter than you think and are demanding and manipulative. I remember reading an article "How having a gifted child ruined my home life" Of course, I don't feel that strongly, but it is a lot of work, a lot more than I was prepared for as a first time mom. My oldest daughter was the same way you are describing. The first 3 months she slept on me - or wouldn't sleep, she only slept a few hours at a time and not nearly 8 a day, then as she got older she wanted to look at EVERYTHING and would point in the direction she wanted you to go and finally started talking at 7 months. Before the talking was in full force, I took her to the doctor for the constant whining and crying only to be told that her body wasn't catching up with her mental development and that usually a child as bright as her could crawl and explore and she was sooo frustrated that she whined to demand us to take her exploring "go see dat, go see dat, GO SEE DAT!!!!! Blaaaahhhh!!" I could hardly get a shower every couple of days - Mom's attention was prized over Dad's and she made no effort to hide it. She is still a drama queen, but now that she has other interests, I get a break. She'll be starting middle school next year and I still get "Mom, you and I haven't spent enough alone time together and I feel like you don't care about me." There is ALWAYS something she needs, and brace yourself for the complaining...we MAKE her name good things about her day. And yes, other moms did not know or understand. I was told I was exaggerating and put down at mommy groups ("oh, yeah, she's already saying bye bue...uh huh ~ she won't eat broken pretzels?? oh, pahleese)...then one of my friends kept her at age 2...Hah! She told me that my one kid was harder to keep up with than both of hers together. And she made the point that she WAS NOT a brat, she just had a lot of "needs" and made constant requests for help or attention (I need a green crayon and this one is aqua...I can't find green ~sob~).
From all of the reading I've done, I would have to say that she is not being a discipline problem, but her active mind just requires more stimulus. Try word games while you cook. "what does cat start with?" then spell it, and so on. Ask her to go find a red (or a paticular character or another color) toy and then praise her when she returns, ask her to put that one away and start over -make it sound exciting. Talk about making dinner on the way home, tell her what you're cooking and ask her if she knows what you need out of the fridge next and let her try to get it for you, or find it. It helps because its a game, and they're learning. We did this in the car too. Car rides were hard for us..point out colors and sign shapes (Look, a red octagon!). Those magna-doodle boards are great for the car as well. All I can say is ~Buckle Up for the ride~
MAKE SURE she is challenged once she starts school or she WILL be considered a discipline problem by her teachers. Teachers that are geared for gifted children look at a child telling them that they're wrong as the child being bright and thinking outside the box...regular teachers look at it as a problem with authority...go figure. We didn't have this problem until Kindergarten..also..there are public funded programs for children with exceptionalities (this means both sides of the bell shaped curve)as early as age 3. (free preschool if you're gifted OR slow)
My daughter is wonderfully talented in so many ways and has such a good heart. I am so proud of her and would not trade her for the world. The best things are worth working hard for, and we intend to continue to steer her away from self-centeredness and teach her how to be more objective. Hold on tight!
Feel free to write me if you have questions, or want to vent and remember you've been given the priveledge of guiding a wonderful gem among children and partly, her potential rests in your hands(This helps when you wanna scream...heh).
Please excuse the rambling, but it all ~feels~ relavant = )