Her Husband Hit on me...to Tell or Not to Tell

Honestly since you no longer have the job and time has passed since it happend it would seem like you are just trying to create trouble. The wife will just go whatever, or I know why didn't you not say something when it first started, did you like the attention. You are asking for drama and you may get into something messy if you bring it up, but if you are ready for that maybe print them of and send them to the mom. She then can deal with it as she chooses.

I would have taken care of it right away, that is in aporppiate weather you were afriad of losing the job or not that is not something ok for ANY man to do (unless it is to his wife and she is ok with).

If it is something that keeps happening I would defiently tell the husband to back off and leave you alone otherwise you will report it to the wife and the police.

She probably already knows- let it go. I had this happen to me and never said a word... they are now divorced.

Really, what would it accomplish? I think if you had brought it to her attn WHILE you worked for them it's O. thing. But you're out of the situation now. What would you gain by telling her. I'm sure she knows her husband is a creep.

He was hitting on you and sending text messages for several months and you did nothing to stop it? This situation looks bad on your part too. I would definitely not bring it up now. The time to tell was at the very beginning if he didn't stop when you told him to stop.

If you're a teen, then I understand how this went on for several months. Learn from this lesson that you have to say NO! STOP! immediately and back it up, if he doesn't stop, with letting his wife know. You had those text messages to show her so that she'd know you weren't making it up.

It's too late now. Perhaps you've parted ways in part because she knows he's this way and you didn't tell her. Even if the parting was for a different and unrelated cause, she knows, I can almost guarantee. If she doesn't know, it's because she doesn't want to know. Several months! She knows.

Wow I am really surprised at those responses. I worked as a nanny for many years before getting married and understand what it's like to have that kind of job. Thankfully my families were wonderful, but I had friends who worked for people like you discribe.....worked for years because they got paied very well and had families to feed.
I see you already made up your mind, just wanted to send you some support:)

YOu should never babysit for anyone again!!! You should have said something when it was happening. USE your head lady.

What would it accomplish? She will believe her husband and will think you're off your rails because you're trying to be vindictive. Leave it alone and move on with your life....lesson learned.

You can sign up for Microsoft My Phone for free online and it syncs with your phone. It is a way to print out text messages. Just print them all out and hand them to her. Let her know, with sympathy, that you thought she would like to know and then leave. They are grown-ups. It's not your place to protect their marriage. These things need to be brought to light if they're ever going to have a chance to fix the things that are wrong with their relationship.

I wouldn't - you waited too long. If you were going to say something, you should have done it right when it happened. Now, you just look like a disgruntled ex-employee trying to stir up the pot. If you say something now, word will get around that you are a trouble maker and it will be difficult for you to find a job in the future in the nanny field.

Next time report that kind of behavior immediately . . .

I would not say anything. She has to know what her husband is like.

I just have to say WOW! Some of you women should be ashamed of yourself and your responses! I am sorry that you had to deal with such a scum and for the lack of support from this forum. I too probably would have not said anything in fear for my job. I just wanted you to know that there was another lady out there that supported you and your decision. Good luck to you.

I am sending my support and wish you the best of luck in the future with everything. Some of these people have the same mentality that rapists have, that if someone were wearing a skirt that means they were asking for it. We as women have a right to exist, look beautiful, be kind, be healthy and not have others 'hit' on us, take advantage of us or label us simply because we are women. I am ashamed of some of these people and I hope they rethink some of this. Where have we gone in the last l00 years if people still think this way. You continue to hold your head up high, enjoy your baby and I hope the most wonderful man and partner of your dreams comes into your life soon.

So far, I'm in the minority but I would advise not to tell her for a multitude of reasons. One, the boat has already left the dock, so to speak. Any mention at this point, even with evidence to back it up, is going to look petty, vindictive and spiteful. Two, you didn't mention what the circumstances were for the bad parting, but could it be possible that she already knew her husband was up to no good? Three, sometimes the right thing to do is to do nothing at all. What good could come of you telling someone her husband was hitting on you? Depending on their issues, this might be something that she DOESN'T need to hear right now.

I think you should just let it go.

When I was younger, this happened to me also. It went on a while just like you. I was afraid to say anything like you. I never did. Your right she will find out on her own. Did you save the text messages?? He is a jerk and it will bite him in the butt!! My idiot guy that I babysat for used to have to drive me home. He always tried to make out with me. I didn't think anyone would believe me so I kept it to myself.

The guy who did this stuff to me is now divorce 4 times over!

Good luck!

Don't know what I would do....

but, if you do decide to tell her... and knowing that she is a b*tch... then, expect that you will be at the end of her attitude/anger too... and she may even 'accuse' you of provoking her husband or whatever. Regardless of whatever proof you have. And what if she drags you into her divorce proceedings... if/when that happens.
Or, what if her Husband retaliates... against you.... ? Or he tries to get you back, to teach you a lesson?
Would you want that, now?
Or do you just want to get on with your own life.... without them?

Then the question is: would you want, at this time, to be a part of a BIG "drama" in your life, with a past Employer??? and on a personal level... ??? Because it WILL cause problems for you... should you tell her.
You cannot predict, what she will do or how she will react, and you don't know what her husband will do nor how he will react.
Either way, they will be angry with you....

Personally, I would NOT want to be a part of some other couple's problems... if I am no longer employed by them.

p.s.: I would KEEP the text messages... if in the future you need it.

all the best,
Susan

I would tell her if you have the texts to show to back it up. If you deleted them, then it is your call. How old are you? Coming from a teen vs an adult woman could make all of the difference too. You can start with, "I know we parted on bad terms and I have no ill will toward you or your family but I thought you should know..." As a wife, I would want to know.

I say tell...if she doesnt believe you then thats her problem but at least you can get it off your chest.

If I were the mother, regardless of what problems we already had in our relationship, I'd want to know. I LOVED Dyreka's suggestion about printing the texts.

IF you think there is any potential that saying something will cause harm to you or your family, then you need to keep quiet. IF you think that nothing bad except maybe frustration, then definitely you need to speak up b/c as you said, if it were happening to you, you would want to know.

Hope this helps. Good luck.
N.

I would tell her. She can choose to believe you or not believe you. But at least you will know you did the right thing by telling her what happened. It's like you said, if the shoe were on the other foot you would want to be told. It's the golden rule.

i think it's too late to say anything because the woman will think you're just being hateful. even if you have saved txt messages, she won't give you the chance to show them to her.
you should have said something then. i understand why you didn't. who wants to lose their source of income, which would have happened if you spoke about it while employed.
no, i am not getting on your case. like i said, totally understandable why you didn't say anything before. but saying anything now, it's just too late.
good luck

Can you prove anything, if not unfortuanetly the mom may take it as you being vindictive. If you can, and you feel its necessary, than you definitely need to take the humble approach to it. Besides, it may not make a difference since you stated they are already having problems..

Creepy Guy! If it was a friend's husband, I would tell. In this situation, I would not tell and hopefully you won't have to see these people again.