Helping My Child with Grief

Dear W.,
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. You and your family are going through an inconceivable heartache right now. Poor Isabella (and perhaps all of you) may need some extra help at this time. Have you talked to a child psychologist? Certainly there are books at the library or bookstore that might offer advice, and maybe even children's books that deal with loss. The thing is, she is a little person - an individual - and she will grieve in her own way, and she may need some individualized attention. It sounds as though she's scared - and rightfully so, after a traumatic experience like this. I'm not advocating drug therapy, but simple counseling can go a long way in helping to sort out feelings - especially big, huge, horrible feelings that follow an event like this one. Again, I am sooooooooo sorry. I know that doesn't make it "better". Our thoughts are with you. I suppose the best you can do is just to be there for each other right now.

I just wanted to say that I am unbelievably sorry to hear about your loss. I'm not even sure what to say about your dealing with your 4 year old and how to get her through this. I just wanted you to know I read your post and wanted to send my heartfelt condolences.

L.

First off let me say that I am so sorry for you loss, I can't imagine my worst fears becoming reality. As for your other little girl have you thought about taking her to a councelor? They may be able to help her grieve in a healthy way. Or maybe talk to your pediatrician and see if they have any sugestions on how to explain this passing to your little girl. Stay strong and your little girl will be fine. Another thing if you believe in God maybe you could explain to her that God took Emily Anne to be in heaven with the angles. That was how I explained death to my oldest who is 4. She seemed to be okay with that explination.

Dear W.,

I read your post and wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear of your loss. I can't not even begin to understand what you may be feeling but wanted to express my condolances. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Hi W.
I read your post and just wanted to say how sorry I am, that is so sad about your baby girl. If you need to talk just let me know! God Bless You and Your Family.
J.

W.,

OMG I am SOOOO SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR LOSS!!! Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

It is not the same situation but my sister experienced a misscarriage on Thanksgiving Day :( Because my 5 y/o niece was so excited to FINALLY have a sibbling she took it VERY hard and was devastated. After my sister bought some books on how to deal w/ these types of things, she took from the books that you need to involve the (living) sibbling in as many ways as possible (i.e. my niece got to name the baby who went to heaven, she choose Conner since she just knew it was going to be a brother).
Maybe if you guys gave Isabella some "choices" to help make this would distract her and make her feel important. Not sure what your plans are but maybe if you have a grave site Isabella could chose the flowers. I also know a friend who works as a funeral director and typically they release ballons at such services, you could get a bunch of ballons and have Isabella "send them up in the sky" to her baby sister to have in heaven....?
Not sure any of this will help, just want to help in any way possible, I can not even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through!!!
Keep your chin up and smile, Isabella loves you!!!!

My thoughts and prayers,
M.

Hi my name is S. and I live in Warner Robins. I have 5 children one who passed away when she was 4 about two years ago. Brittany had seizures and went to sleep one night and didnt wake up they believe she had a seizure in her sleep. Her and her sister(they are 9 months apart) were very close to eachother they did everything together. I don't know if you are religous or not but we just told her sister that she went to be with God. It seemed to be the only thing we could come up with. That God didn't want her to suffer anymore and took her to be with him so she wouldn't be sick anymore. She didn't really grieve untill about 3 months after she died which I guess can be normal for a child from what I was told. If there is anything I can do for you let me know. I have been through it before. I am truely sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my nephew on Sep.18 of 2003 to SIDS. He left behind 2yo and 4yo sisters also. My neices did fairly well considering the cirsumstances. We had him cremated and he now sits on my sisters dresser and they girls can talk to him whenever they want. I think it helps to have a visual for them. Have you tried taking her to the graveside? We told my kids and the girls that he was an angel and so he couldn't stay on earth too long b/c god needed him back up there helping him. He just came here long enough to bring his love into our lives. Truthfully I think it was harder on the adults than the kids. If you need to seek some counceling for her I say do it sooner than later. Feel free to message me privately if you need someone to talk to my email is ____@____.com

I am so very sorry for your loss. explaining death to a young child is hard. I had to with my boys and the words dead and sick or sleeping are not something that they can understand. I told my boys when their grandpa passed that he was sick with cancer and because he was hurting that god decided to make him a special angel and special angels get a bright star in the sky at night and when you look up and see the stars blinking it means that he is letting you know he is okay now and that he is watching over you.This actually helped them through and also helped some of the other family members who heard it who aren't children. Hopefully this can help you and your family as well.R.

I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for helping me to be even more grateful for what I have this holiday season. I will pray for you.

W., first let me say that I am deeply sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. Your Isabella is grieveing in her own way. Four year olds can't comprehend death. She probably remembers the chaos when the police and EMS arrived at your house. You need time to heal and so does Isabella, I will keep you in my prayers.

First, let me just say I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending you loving thoughts and prayers in the hope you will find a way to cope with your grief. My suggestion for your daughter is to try and think of as many things that are "unexplainable" and talk about those. Let her know that there are many things that do not have an "answer".....and that is nothing to be afraid of. She does not need an answer to things to feel safe and loved by you. Be honest with her when you are sad, don't try to hide your grief because then she will think it is bad. I WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST.

Dear W.,
I really don't have anything to offer except my condolenses. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going thru. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
God bless

I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to offer my sympathy and tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. My sister lost a baby after only one day and it was heartbreaking so I can't imagine losing a baby who is 7 weeks old. My heart goes out to you and your family.

You are in my prayers. You may want to talk to your PED, and take your child in for an appointment to have them help with her understanding/fear. God works in ways we will never understand until we are in Heaven with Him. Stay strong. I am sure a miracle and many blessings are on there way to you.